I am currently feeling very irritable, short-tempered, and restless. My mind does not stay calm or peaceful. I am unable to feel happy or relaxed, and often get a feeling of wanting to cry. I feel mentally exhausted.
Additionally, I have a strong fear of arguments or conflicts. When someone else argues or raises their voice, my heart starts pounding. I constantly feel that it would be much better if no one argues with me. This fear is also affecting me badly.
My nervous system never feels calm. I have a habit of doing everything on time, and if it doesn’t happen, I feel like something bad will happen. I get irritated easily, I’m always in a rush, and I can’t stay calm.”
I do not know how to describe my situation but I have been anxious a lot lately, getting offended on small things, past incidents are coming to my mind and then I am getting angry about those things. I often notice myself day dreaming imagining a perfect world. I am facing lower confidence levels and procrastinating my priorities a lot, I am worried a lot, overthinking all the time, appears to me that my mind is never at rest. I scroll phone a lot and cannot find motivation to complete my tasks. I feel exhausted. My childhood was not very nice and those incidents still scares me and I am going on defensive mode. I need advice to cope up with my situation.
Always under stress anxiety about future ..when I was studying degree I used to think quitting degree and joining father business makes me more successful rather than completing degree ..so I dropped studies ..now after dropping I am under guilt that I left studies ..I have dropped studies 20 years ago ..still I can't forget that guilt ...daily morning when I wake up the thing that first comes in my mind is that I dropped studies .. since then I find no interest in any thing..I don't have a fixed mindset ...always under tremendous stress regarding life ...don't stick to one idea..always change my mind...not able to take serious steps regarding life..feel lost ..I stay away from friends..,because of guilt of study dropout...no enthusiasm in life...life is feeling heavy...always head is filled with thoughts and heavy.
31. Male. 5'6". 77 kg. Paliperidone. I am suffering from nervous shutdown symptoms since 2015. I also started suffering from symptoms like laughing alone or muttering past conversation I had on social media out loud since 2020. My parents insist me on going to psychiatrist for this. One time I misunderstood prescription and took 10 SOS eitizolam pills as I thought they would cure me out of shutdown but they were for weak hearted feeling that I was having. So after overdose I was hospitalized and during my extended stay at hospital I became aggressive so combined with my shutdown and aggression I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on paliperidone 150 mg. But paliperidone is making my symptoms worse. I now have ADHD like symptoms due to high dopamine blockade and hence cannot read( jump t conclusions and skip stuff which I feel is unimportant). Doctors says will take you off paliperidone after I get a job and become functional again. Is doctor correct in keeping me on paliperidone?
