Hello , i am suffering from GAD mostly with some obsessive thoughts ( i dont find any compulsive symptoms) , they are just unnecessary thoughts with no context and because of that i have some depressive symptoms also ( bcz of lack of productivity)
This is said by my psychiatrist
I prescribed me fluvoxamine for the same but it was untolerated by me , so now i am on escitalopram 20mg dose
10mg in mrng and 10 mg in night
So i am happy now but obsessive thoughts are still there , but in control
& Most importantly i have vivid dreams during sleep
I found i am sleeping but my mind is busy with dreams , and they feel so real .
Is it normal ? Or it will affect my sleep and after sleep refreshment?
And any other medication ?
I am 26 years old female..
I was diagnosed with hearing loss when i was 12 and i lost my 100% hearing ability 3 years back..
Before 8 months i was operated with cochlear implant on right ear.
Now i can listen 80-90%..and still my rehabilitation is going on..
I have done masters of engineering..
My family is not so supportive..
I don't feel like living anymore..
i am just tired of everything and always think of suicide..
I often cry..i dont sleep good..
I work in a bank,I feel an inefficient all the time. If am facing a task,I try to find ways to escape it.Sometimes while going to office I remember the tasks and get a thought what if I met with an accident rather than going to office.That would give a genuine reason not to face it.I cry a lot, even sometimes I don't know why am I crying.In between a beautiful conversation I bring a topic with my spouse,where if he doesn't give me the response I need then I fight with him,sulking all through the day,until he apologizes.He doesn't apologize and I say all things like you don't value me and this relationship, so you are not apologizing. I berate myself. I want my colleagues acceptance that I stop my work and help them. But never I get their acceptance or approval. I feel like they berate or think low of me. I ask my spouse am I beautiful?he says am average looking,which is true,but I get hurt.Irony to this, when my mother says I am beautiful I don't believe her.i tell her she is lying.
I hate my self because all given to me but not understand how to do. But there reason is I feel sleepy and stress in my family, study not any other.
From last few days m a lot depress my father told me something that affected me a lot and my bf he doesn't understand me..i dont have friends he is the only one i share things but he dont have time for me..earlier i have committed suicide but failed yesterdat again i tried but somehow i controlled myself..i love my family a lot but my father he thinks m a burden to him as m not getting married my mom she sometimes behave very weirdly n i love my brother he's the one who supports me alot but what i'm going thru right now i cant make him understand..i love my bf a lot n i want to marry him as well even he wants to but right now he's not ready this what he says to me but the thing is that i dont have time n i cant marry anyone else..this all things are going in my mind please help me..i dont want to die please help me..give some suggestions..