Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. Whenever we blame someone else, we are not taking responsibility for ourselves. In blaming, we give away our power. Understanding enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future.
We are all victims of victims, and they could not possibly have taught us anything they did not know. If your mother did not know how to love herself, or your father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach you to love yourself. They were doing the best they could with what they had been taught as children. If you want to understand your parents more, get them to talk about their own childhood; and if you listen with compassion, you will learn where their fears and rigid patterns come from. Those people who “did all that stuff to u” were just as frightened and scared as you are.
So, stop blaming anyone. Past cannot be changed. It is over and done with. What is important at this moment is what you are choosing to think and believe and say right now. The future is shaped by our current thinking. The point of power is in the present moment and is forming the experience of tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and so on.