Articles on sexual well being

Sexual Response Cycle in Males

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
Men and woman, with some sexually arousing stimulus, proceed through orgasm and end with a return of the body to a sexually unstimulated state. This is described in four stages: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. There is no sharply defined moments when one stage ends and the next begins. Each phase merges with the next phase.ExcitementMen: Erection of penis, marked increase in its size, and a rise in its angle. Erection may be triggered by penis itself or by sexually stimulating sight, smell or thought. It occurs in 3 to 8 seconds.A small penis may double in length, while in a large penis lengthening is less marked.Partial elevation and increase in the size of testes.Plateau Full erection of penis. Increase in size and full elevation of testes. Little secretion from Cowper’s glands appears at the Urethral meatus.OrgasmOrgasm occurs in two distinct stages. In the first stage the Vas deferens, the prostate and Seminal vesicles begin a series of contractions that forces semen into the bulb of the urethra. The man experiences a sensation of ‘Ejaculatory inevitability –the feeling of having reached brink of control. At this point ejaculation cannot be stopped. In the second stage of orgasm contraction of urethra and penis combined with contraction in the prostate to cause ejaculation (spurting of semen out of tip of penis). During ejaculation the neck of the urinary bladder is tightly shut to avoid any mixture of semen and urine. The rhythmic contractions of prostate, the perineal muscles and the penis occur initially at 0.8 seconds intervals.Male orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same process. Although the two occur simultaneously, orgasm refers to muscular contraction and release of sexual tension, while ejaculation refers to the release of semen. Orgasm without ejaculation is common in boy before puberty.ResolutionMan is not able to have multiple orgasms. Immediately after the ejaculation man enters a ‘refractory period’ during which further orgasm or ejaculation is impossible. Usually the erection subsides quickly. There is grate variability in the duration of refractory period. It may last from few minutes to many hours. This period gets longer with each repeated ejaculation. As the man gets older, the refractory period gets longer. The period of return to the unaroused state is called the ‘resolution phase’. The anatomical and physiological changes that occurred during excitement and the plateau phase reverse. Blood is pumped out of penis and therefore loss of erection. The testes decrease in size and descend in scrotum.

Psychology of Sexual Response

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
One of the qualities of human being is its capacity to be modified by its experience. The process is known as learning & conditioning. Most of the aspects of human sexual behavior appear to be the product pf learning and conditioning. As individual may prefer a particular type of individual as sexual partner-tall/short, younger/older single /variety of partners, heterosexual /homosexual ,petting/immediate coitus, single/variety of positions.Flagellation Masochism, Transvestism and variety of fetishes appear to be the products of conditioning fortified by some other aspects of personality and by inherent capacities.So called aberrant types of behavior meaning the less usual types of conditioned responses may be disadvantageous, but they are of social concern.  The classification of behavior as normal or abnormal represents moralistic Classification rather than any scientific one. Once known as perversion was later called as Deviation and now as variation.Individuals become erotically aroused when they observe other individuals engaging in sexual activity. Most males are likely to respond quite immediately to such stimuli to come to erection and to seek the opportunity for sexual activity. These are Sympathetic Response. The restriction which the human societies place upon the public performances of sexual act arose from attempt to control the sympathetic response of the bystanders.Males are more often conditioned by their sexual experience than females. There is tremendous variation in which different individuals may be affected by psychological stimuli females differ from average males. Females masturbate without associated sexual fantasies while all males do fantasize while masturbating. Females never had sexual drams while they slept while all the males have nocturnal sex dreams. Males are erotically aroused by seeing photographs or paintings of nudes are produced primarily for consumption of males. There are no male/female nude photographs or magazines produce for consumption of females. Heterosexual males are aroused by observing females breasts, genitalia or some other part of  the females body while most of the females are not aroused by observing male genitalia. Males are inclined to initiate a sexual relationship trough genital stimulation. Most females prefer to be stimulated tactilely in various other parts of the body before the activity is concentrated on the genitalia. It is complaint of married females that the husband is interested in nothing but intercourse. On the other hand it is a constant complaint of married male that his wife will do nothing to him which means that she does not tactilely stimulate his genitalia.Many males have their sexual activities where there is some light. Male is stimulated by seeing genitalia or other parts of the body of sexual partner while females are much less attracted by observing the male partner genitalia. Females do not prefer light during their sexual activity.   Many husband fail to comprehend that their wives may need general physical stimulation before they are sufficiently aroused and aroused and want a genital union.Males are erotically stimulated by seeing pornographic literature or films, while females are not stimulated by the same. Females like to deal with general emotional situations affectional relationship and love.Wall inscriptions in public toilet provide information on extent and nature of the suppressed sexual desires of males and females sexual material on the walls of male toilet are drawings slang words phrases or genitalia. In female toilet walls the inscriptions referred to love associated names lipstick impressions or drawings of hearts; but no genital action inscriptions are observed.Many males marry so as to have an opportunity to have coitus regularly with their wife; while an average female marries to establish a home to establish a long term affect ional relationship with her spouse and to have children whose welfare becomes the prime business of her life.Average male has a greater need than for females for regular and frequent sexual outlet.It is difficult for the males to understand that females are not aroused by seeing male genitalia. Many males conclude that she is no longer in love with him. On the contrary many females feel that their husbands are vulgar or perverted because they want to display their genitalia. Difficulties develop in marital relationship because of this failure of females to understand male psychology, and of males to understand female psychology. 

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Sexual problems in menFortunately, most sexual problems are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.What causes sexual problems?Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.Physical causes: Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart and vascular ( blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medicines, including some antidepressant medication, can affect sexual desire and function.Psychological causes: These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.Who is affected by sexual problems?Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the older population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with ageing.How do sexual problems affect men?The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction, and inhibited sexual desire.What are ejaculation disorders?There are different types of ejaculation disorders, including:Premature ejaculation -- This refers to ejaculation that occurs before or soon after penetration.Inhibited or retarded ejaculation -- This is when ejaculation is slow to occur.Retrograde ejaculation -- This occurs when, at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the urethra and out the end of the penis.In some cases, premature and inhibited ejaculation are caused by a lack of attraction for a partner, past traumatic events and psychological factors, including a strict religious background that causes the person to view sex as sinful. Premature ejaculation is often is due to nervousness over how well a man will perform during sex. Certain medications, including some anti-depressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the spinal cord.Retrograde ejaculation is common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This is due to problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck that allow the ejaculate to flow backwards and into the bladder. In other men, retrograde ejaculation occurs after operations on the bladder neck or prostate, or after certain abdominal operations. In addition, certain medicines, particularly those used to treat mood disorders, may cause problems with ejaculation. This does not generally require treatment unless it impairs fertilityWhat is erectile dysfunction?Also known as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse. Causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (narrowing of the arteries); nerve disorders; psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to sexually perform); and injury to the penis. Chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie's disease (scar tissue in the penis) can also cause erectile dysfunction.What is inhibited sexual desire?Inhibited desire, or loss of libido, refers to a decrease in desire for, or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can result from physical or psychological factors. It has been associated with low levels of the hormone testosterone. It also may be caused by psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses, such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain medications, including some anti-depressants; and relationship difficulties

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Many men have sexual problems. They become more common as men age. Problems can include:• Erectile dysfunction• Reduced or lost interest in sex• Problems with ejaculation• Low testosteroneStress, illness, medicines, or emotional problems may also be factors. Occasional problems with sexual function are common. If problems last more than a few months or cause distress for you or your partner,The main types of male sexual dysfunction are:• Erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting/keeping an erection)• Premature ejaculation (reaching orgasm too quickly)• Delayed or inhibited ejaculation (reaching orgasm too slowly or not at all)• Low libido (reduced interest in sex)How does sexual dysfunction affect men?The most common problems men face with sexual dysfunction are troubles with ejaculation, getting and keeping an erection, and reduced sexual desire.Ejaculation disordersProblems with ejaculation are:• Premature ejaculation (PE) — ejaculation that occurs before or too soon after penetration• Inhibited or delayed ejaculation — ejaculation does not happen or takes a very long time• Retrograde ejaculation — at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the  end of the penisThe exact cause of premature ejaculation (PE) is not known. While in many cases PE is due to performance anxiety during sex, other factors may be:• Stress• Temporary depression• History of sexual repression• Low self-confidence• Lack of communication or unresolved conflict with partnerWhile male sexual dysfunction cannot be prevented, dealing with the causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it happens. To help maintain good sexual function:• Follow your doctor’s treatment plan for any of your medical/health conditions• Limit your alcohol intake• Quit smoking• Communicate better and more often with your partner

It Is a Software Approach, Not Hardware

Dr. Sachin Chittawar, Endocrinologist
Manhood has got a lot of misconceptions among men. The act has been glorified in many shades of grey beyond reality. People have extra ordinary larger then life expectations for size, duration and repeatability of act. We are not open to discuss amongst us the most common hashtag searched by our brain’s twitter. The most searched word is the S word in the internet. Whenever a biography is released by some celebrity, they talk about the secrets of their S life and we run to read about it with dying curiosity. We end up taking indirect hints or the half cooked knowledge of our peers as the hard core evidence and sometimes unnecessarily drag our self into a never ending self pain.It is all in the brain i.e software not hardware. Stress is the major limiting factor. Wrong information about super inflated expectations is also a major contributor. You need to have social sanctity, acceptance, security and promotion for a developing relationship and this applies to the act also. Guilt,  misinformation, wrong interpretation and taboo to talk and discuss openly leads to problems in youth. Younger ones sometimes come in the habit of taking health supplements with expectations beyond reality. These supplements sometimes have steroids, which make you fat in appearance, but you are debilitated with the healthier aspects of your body.Youth in sports and bodybuilding take androgenic steroids and growth hormone supplements. These supplements either make their male hormones more or leads to lessening of it making people to face unbearable melancholy of the self inflicted sexual problem. Mostly it is our habit of taking shortcuts in life holds us to these trivial problems. Windows as a software needs an antivirus and is vulnerable to fall for viruses, the same applies for our youth also. There are three parts of the act.First is the attraction and the urge which governs our libido is dealt by our male hormone testosterone. Secondly the current of fresh oxygenated blood to your organ, it is a vascular issue mostly impaired in diabetics and many more. Thirdly, it is the venous leakage from your organ during the act, usually a mechanical problem. Testosterone governs libido. If there is lack of libido it may be a hormonal problem, one can consult an Endocrinologist. If the problem is with the flow and leakage, it becomes a team work of a hormone specialist and a vascular surgeon and sometimes an Andrologist. The door of the problem should open to a psychiatrist first followed by the series of trained people as depicted. Young people embarking in manhood should have clearer vision regarding their health, protection, exercise, diet and should confer with someone who has a vision and training to deal with such illnesses.

Things You Must Know About Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Dr. Parmjit Singh Walia, Dermatologist
Over the last few years, a lot of patients have been coming to our clinic who are actually not suffering from HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease but are still struggling to find a solution to their problems related to their private parts. A major part of their suffering is rather related to reading a lot of database from Google or finding tedious ways to treat them with naturopathy. The fear of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) is the one that perpetuates the vicious cycle of existence of these "NOT SO TALKED ABOUT"diseases. STIs are very common and easily transmitted through sexual contact. Many STIs are curable and all are treatable, but the only way to know if you have one is to talk about them, consult a dermatologist and get yourself tested if required.Common Symptoms of STIs:Talking to your doctor about your sex life might seem too personal to share but ideally seeing a dermatologist takes you to the fast track of solution of the problem. Here are some common symptoms that may alert you to the presence of an STI:Pain and/or burning sensation when urinating Discolored, smelly, or particularly heavy discharge Abnormal vaginal discharge Warts, lesions, or sores in the genital area Rash or itching in the genital area Painful intercourseLower abdominal pain, fatigue & Low back pain (females)Q: How can you protect yourself ? A: Protecting yourself sexually involves not only learning about STIs but practicing safer sex every time you engage in any sexual activity.Avoid or minimize direct oral, anal and genital contact by using a barrier method correctly and consistently. Avoidance of impulsive intercourse with a complete stranger Form a trusted, honest, and communicative relationship. Always examine your partner for any wart, ulcer or any other obvious lesion on the genital parts Limit your number of sexual partners. Talk to your partner about your STI status. Include STI testing as part of your regular medical check up. Learn the common symptoms of STI’s. Do not use drugs or alcohol in potentially intimate situations as they can inhibit your ability to make decisions and may affect your dexterity. Get vaccinated for Hepatitis B and C. Get vaccinated for HPV if you are a woman between the ages of 9 and 26.Q: How do you get tested for STIs? A: There is no one test for all STIs. Get yourself examined by a dermatologist and get the tests recommended as it saves money and avoid unnecessary investigations.Q: How are STIs treated? A: The treatment depends on the type of STI. Only use medicines prescribed or suggested by your doctor. There are products sold over the Internet that falsely claim to prevent or treat STIs but the safety of these products is not known. Consult your dermatologist to speak about how you can protect yourself or to get tested and treated accordingly.

Do You Have Your Priorities Sorted?

Dr. Sanjay Tambe, Homeopath
Modern-age students have a desire to be qualified for entry in MBA, IIT or Software Engineering. Fat salary income remains to be driving force behind this aspect. Who does not want such a happy beginning of life? If husband and wife are both interested with E-Mantra, then sky is the limit. It appears as if both the goddesses Laxmi and Saraswati (Goddess of wealth and Goddess of Learning) have bestowed their entire blessings on them. All the wordly pleasure are tied in the closed fist, but the essence of life (Sex) trickles away as soft fine sand from the gaps between the fingers. They are ignorant of the fact that money is extremely important in life, but it is not everything. By going against the nature by working throughout day and night to show their efficiency, they are afraid to accept marital responsibility. Today there are innumerable couples who do not wish to take parental responsibility. The quite noiseless home is not due to progress in wealth but due to absence of children. Sexual emotions between husband and wife are considered prominent after marriage. They are unaware of this reaching home late after hard day and night work. They go off to sleep simply to rush for next busy schedule in the morning. In this melee, they might have taken married life as a mere project. Ardent belief in each other, togetherness, fond communication and physical contact are essential to arouse sexual feeling. Love, love making, youthful happiness and sexual emotions emancipate from such actions only. But for all these one has to have time for each other. Absence of this element in the double income desirous couples turn their conjugal Coexistence life into “tolerance bearing life” which further leads to induce quarrels ending in divorce. The number of divorce seeking couples has increased phenomenally, only because earning more and more money remains their sole motto. Abhijeet and Rupali were married five years ago Abhijeet is an Executive in a software company and Rupali works as Vice-President in a Multinational Company. Their day starts at 7 AM but no fixed time for end. Desirous of earning maximum in minimum time they have no time for Parenthood. Abhijeet claims of perfect understanding between both of them and also manages to give time to each other often. There are many couples who have no time for sex and carrying on such tolerance life. Career remains to be only subject of concern for them. Priya and Nilesh were bound in love marriage but in the last four years after marriage differences have cropped up distancing them from each other. Both love each other intensely but have no time for sex. In order to understand the reason for these developments they have to understand about the educational situation, cultural program and training. Sex has not remained a subject matter of marriage. Schools, collages, Professional training in each and every place, students consider sex as a physical necessity. Hence there remains no curiosity of sex even after marriage. The object of marriage turns into stability in life and earning more money. Consequently they are burdened firstly, double income no kids and then again with double income- no sex. People linked with the IT industry clearly admit of their decreasing interest in sex. Firstly they work hard for earning heaps of money and after achieving the same they start considering themselves as some body unique which leads them to live their life on their own. Working continuously for more than 10 to 18 hours and consuming innumerable cups of tea ,coffee, reduces their sexual desire. They are drifting away from the pleasures of sexual emotions. Sex is not a --subject of project ,what is needed is enjoyment in mutual emotions just as reaching home in time, drinking tea in relaxed mood, having dinner together with children etc. but who has time for all these things.    Such situations may arise, not only in case of career oriented people, but also in case of house wives, She forgets about sex while doing house hold work, schooling children taking care of their studies and tending to in-laws. However her husband should not forget that sexual activity is as important as her other duties.    Couples working in different areas are infected with the work problems. They fall into arguments without understanding mutual problems, this directly affects their sex life. If things come to this state today then just think what shall be the state of affairs after 20 years ?    Mutual emotions should be well understood considering sex as an essential element of life. In fact happy sex can eliminate tension and tiredness/ fatigue. It not only brings the relationship closer but also bestows mental satisfaction Before differences increase; proper counseling must be availed if desired.

Female Sexual Dysfunction & Diabetes

Dr. Sharmila Majumdar, Sexologist
Causes of FSD in DiabetesVascular damage can affect blood slupply to the vagina and clitoris which can cause problems with dryness and arousal.Neuropathy can reduce sensitivityDiabetes can also lead to low oestrogen levels which can also affect the lubricationDepression can lead to FSD in a diabetic women and can affect relationships.FSD in the Diabetics Assessed in a SurveyFemale sexual response cycle is a complex non linear progression from desire to arousal and orgasm.Diabetes particularly affects arousal with decreased genital sensation and lubrication.Vaginal dryness & infections may lead to dyspareunia.Sexual functioning can be affected by Vaginitis caused by yeast infection and cystitis often result of a UTI.Predictors of sexual dysfunction in women include depression.Neither age, duration of diabetes, glycemic control nor complications in predict sexual dysfunction in women as they do in men.Low androgens and possibly estrogens may be etiologic, as may numerous medications used by patients with diabetes.Recognition of the high prevalence of FSD (up to Results show that women with type one diabetese, depression and marital status are the main predictors of FSD, whereas glycaemic control & complications were not associated with FSD.Further studies are needed to elucidate the mechanisms underlying these differences.Considering that FSD can have an important negative effect on quality of life and partner relationships, the sexual difficulties of women with diabetes warrant more attention in both research & practice.50%) & potential increase, in tandemwith that of diabetes, is needed.In. The absence of definitive treatment, psychosexual counselling, relationship & sex therapy, DHEA supplements, vaginal lubricants, Flibanserin, low doses of estrogens or androgens, and Vitamin T(touch) have been used toRelieve the personal distress of  FSD.Conclusion- FSD is more frequent in diabetic than in control women, but it is still poorly understood; low Female Sexual Function Index is associated with high BMI.Sexual functioning of women with diabetes, has received far less attention in research, and results are less conclusive than those of studies in men. Further studies are necessary to better understand the risk factors for FSD in diabetic women.

7 Steps You Can Take for Mental Well-Being

Akshata Bhat, Psychiatrist
Take care of yourselfAs simple as it may sound, the mere act of taking care of you is the first step to good mental health. Eat healthy, exercise and get adequate sleep every day. These are the building blocks to good physical health, which translate into mental well-being.Prioritize It is not possible to do everything. The constant effort to do so creates unrealistic expectations. It eventually results in disappointment. Life is too short to waste on unnecessary things, so figure out what your priorities are and focus on them.Invest in yourselfEnvision yourself as a company set up and funded by you. Whatever you invest, you will get the returns accordingly. Give yourself the best; whether it is moral support, top notch grooming or courses to equip you with skills in the field of your choice. Hold nothing back when it comes to you.Let it goHolding on to anything, be it anger, pain, jealousy, failing relationships, dead end jobs or toxic friends will only bring you unhappiness. Let it go. Cut the cord. Break the cycle. Letting go will make you receptive to newer and better opportunities in your life.Take a breakGetting caught up in the daily grind leave you with little time for yourself. Your mind and body need to recharge from time to time. Take time out for yourself everyday to do something you enjoy. ‘Me’ time will help you relax, and motivate you to meet your daily challenges.Be ridiculousLaughing helps to reduce stress and is an instant mood elevator. Having a good sense of humor helps you see the bright side in difficult situations. It makes you optimistic and hopeful. Humor is also a very attractive quality, and it will draw people towards you.Ask for helpOften people feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness; or that by doing so, it lowers your prestige. Thus, even in very tough times, we tend not to ask for help and try to handle everything by ourselves. The truth is that it takes immense courage to admit that you need help, and there is nothing wrong in asking for it.