A lot of people including clients often ask me about the situation when therapy doesn't work. In fact, there is scepticism surrounding Counseling and Therapy right from the word go. Questions like 'does it really work?' "will it help me', 'what if it doesn't work' come as a part and parcel with the word counselling and therapy.

In all fairness, these questions do need to be asked and answered. There has been a taboo associated with this field for so long, that even though people are embracing it, lack of information leads to such speculation.

So why would therapy not work?

To answer this, one needs to understand what therapy or counselling is. It is nothing more and nothing less than a healing process. Healing takes time-physically and mentally. Not all wounds are the same. Some wounds need to be covered and some left open.

Emotions are like the open wounds, which we try to cover all the time because they remind us of some more discomforts that we are always trying to escape or avoid.

For e.g, a wife refuses to leave her cheating husband and is busy pretending that everything is fine in their relationship. All this, because the risk of being on her own, is far too overwhelming than the pretence. In that pretence, she continues to suppress her feelings of anger, hurt, rejection etc. Eventually, they will manifest in some form like a breakdown, anger outbursts, depression, anxiety etc.

Sooner or later, a choice will have to be made whether to work on what is being felt or let it get the better of you.

With this set as an example, the reasons why therapy won't work are:

  • Counsellor-Client relationship: It's important to find a therapist/ counsellor with whom you can connect. Someone who makes you feel comfortable and gives you a sense that he/she truly understands what you feel. Usually, the first meeting is good enough to give you that sense. If you don't connect with your therapist, it would be difficult to work through your issues.
  • Client's readiness to accept help: This is the biggest driving factor for everything. If we are ready to seek and accept help; we surrender to our own healing process, it will manifest. Progress may be slow, but our own willpower will keep guiding us there. Therapy has to be a space where excuses should have no space.

Therapy and healing are something that we do for ourselves, it requires effort and the results are only for us to feel. What the world sees is just a fraction of our healed soul.