To enjoy close relationships, a person should master the ability to communicate. To develop and maintain communication skill is a lifelong process which requires time, patience, attention to detail, along with listening and speaking skill. To connect with other person and to create genuine emotional intimacy howsoever listening is extremely important.
Listening is a process of developing a full understanding of another person’s situation, concern and point of view. Good listening skills require suspending judgment and spending more energy to understand another person. Person restates speaker’s thoughts and feelings for verification as a good listener. This somewhere slows down the communication but minimizes misunderstanding and conflict.
Mostly listener has 3 basic motives or goals:
- To lead by persuading called Persuasive Listening
- To clarify by directing called Directive Listening
- To discover by attending called Attentive Listening
Persuasive listener hardly listens and always looks for an opening to jump in and control the direction of the conversation. Directive Listeners if uses approach in a curt manner often really fail to understand what they are being told. They also lead the speaker down a blind alley into a trap. Attentive listening is an exceptional ability worth cultivating. It initiates trust and intimacy in a relationship along with coherently allows a speaker to get her point across without interruption and distraction. Busy people sometimes feel that it is time-consuming. Reality is that it is a more efficient approach where the person allows the speaker to get to the real point and save misunderstanding and confusion later.
Persuasive listeners and Directive listeners try to control the conversation whereas Attentive listener’s intent to fully understand the other person’s viewpoint and encourage developing genuine intimacy. When a person really wants to connect with each other, they have to use all their communication skills like speaking honestly, listening attentively, requesting clarification and giving constructive feedback. Such efforts help to build a healthy relationship and resolve conflicts smoothly.