Marriage is full of paradoxes. It is much easier to get into than to get out of it. It is also a risky venture, with roughly a 50% chance of divorce. Yet most people want to get married, without thinking about it much, they assume their marriage will last a lifetime. But many few couples prepare themselves in any meaningful way for marriage. There are lots of personal and social factors that increase the likelihood of a successful marriage. Tips for a happy and successful marriage/intimate relationship are as below:
- Independence and Maturity:
The more independent and mature two people are, the easier it is for them to develop an interdependent relationship that can facilitate intimacy. Independent and mature people can express their needs honestly and assertively and respond unselfishly to each other’s needs, such couples are more likely to be friends as well as lovers.
Self-esteem is very important in an intimate relationship or marriage. Both individuals not only love each other but themselves. People need to feel secure and self-confident before they can be truly giving and loving to another.
- Separateness and Togetherness:
To balance the separateness and togetherness that an intimate relationship/ marriage requires. People need to enjoy separate activities and time apart. Time apart reminds partners the value of the relationship. Too much togetherness can lead to negative behaviours as an attempting to control the partner and so on.
- Stable and Satisfying Occupation:
Work fosters both financial and emotional security. The greater is the stress at work, the less positive energy there is for a marriage/ intimate relationship.
- Strengths and Weaknesses:
Both individuals know themselves and objectively evaluate their personal strengths and weaknesses and not blame their problems on other people. They must also know what they can give to a partner. The openness and honesty are must between the partners.
Expressing oneself in a direct and generally positive manner is a key for the successful marriage or intimate relationship. Partners with lack of assertiveness in their communication often adopt a passive/aggressive approach.
- Friendship as well as Love:
When people focus on their lover’s needs, they find that the loved one tends to focus on their needs. Non-possessive caring encourages the partners to grow and to reach his or her potential.
A couple should not hesitate to approach a professional marriage counsellor when they are unable to resolve or understand or deal with marital issues on their own. Sometimes a person need not put many efforts in your marriage. A professional marriage counsellor may simplify the process by guiding you the easiest steps in an innovative way.