Articles on sex

How Much Sex Should You Really Have?

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
How much sex should you really have?Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.The health benefits of having sexAs per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseasesIt improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence It prevents erectile dysfunction in menIt improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressureIt acts as a stress relieverIt improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart diseaseIt reduces sensitivity to painThere are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.

How to Begin Your Sex Life?

Dr. Ashwini Billampelly, Sexologist
How to begin your sex life is the question which looms largely on the minds of some people who have opted for virginity until  late age of 25 or more!Here are some tips for those who are looking forward to begin with the most important relationship of their lives: 1: Prepare yourself - GET READY mentally and physically. Make sure you are healthy and normally developed. Make sure all your organ systems are working fine. Do the investigations if necessary. Take time to learn about your own body and your that of your partner. Share your ideas about hygiene and mend your ways if your partner so desires. Get well acquainted. 2: Develop a good mental rapport with your partner. Whether an arranged or a love marriage; good communication, sharing your sexual fantasies, body image, expectations in life, health issues is a must. Many people think putting out their best foot is essential to impress a would-be partner. But in time you will realise HONESTY is the most attractive quality in a spouse.3: Do not commit to a relationship until you are absolutely sure of what you want. If you are anxious about your sexuality, do not rush in anything.4: Do not carry baggage of  any feelings of guilt attached to your sexual being, appearance or financial burdens if any. Interpersonal comfort  and openness is very essential in a couple’s life. 5: Find what you like the most about each other and appreciate your partner frequently. You can begin with the “likes” and then point to minor “dislikes” in that order! That minimizes the impact and hurt caused by criticism. Criticism is a part of good communication, but should not be used to put the other person down. Both partners should be mature enough to take it lightly. 6: Be Well -Informed: - Relaying on porn videos or discussing with  friends or trying to use commercial sex to learn about how to perform sex has its own disadvantages. You may land up with infections or worse,  or myths and irrational fears.  Seek premarital counselling session from an expert sexologist.  Wish you happy life!

Safe Sex Education - the Only Way Forward!

Dr. Amar Deep, Homeopath
Planned Parenthood believes that parents and guardians should be the primary sex educators of their children. As with other complex issues, many parents may need support, resources, and expertise from schools and other organizations. It is important that young people receive age-appropriate sexual health information and develop practical skills for keeping healthy. Educators can help families by providing culturally meaningful learning opportunities in safe and non-judgmental environments so that young people can learn about sexuality in a healthy and positive context.Sometimes, people mistakenly believe that “sex ed” refers only to sexual behavior (e.g., sexual intercourse) and not the full array of topics that comprise sexuality. These include information and concerns about abstinence, body image, contraception, gender, human growth and development, human reproduction, pregnancy, relationships, safer sex (prevention of sexually transmitted infections), sexual attitudes and values, sexual anatomy and physiology, sexual behavior, sexual health, sexual orientation, and sexual pleasure. Comprehensive sex education covers the wide array of topics that affect sexuality and sexual health. It is grounded in evidence-based, peer-reviewed science. Its goal is to promote health and well-being in a way that is developmentally appropriate. It includes information and communication skills building as well as values exploration. Sexuality is an integral part of each person’s identity. Learning about our sexuality and achieving sexual health and well-being are lifelong processes that begin at birth and continue throughout our lives. Although parents and guardians are the primary sex educators of their children, children also receive messages about sexuality from many other sources. Some of them may have more negative than positive impact. Schools and other community-based organizations can be important partners with parents to provide young people accurate and developmentally appropriate sex education.The goals of comprehensive sex education are to help young people gain a positive view of sexuality and to provide them with developmentally appropriate knowledge and skills so that they can make healthy decisions about their sex lives now and in the future. Medically accurate sex education is an investment in our children’s future — their well-being. Our “return on investment” could be a generation of young people who have heard more helpful messages about sexuality than the provocative media images and/or silences they currently witness. It could be a generation of women and men comfortable in their own skin; able to make well-informed, responsible decisions; form healthy relationships; and take care of their bodies.It can be normal to feel overwhelmed by the task of developing and implementing comprehensive sex education in your school or program. Some educators find it helpful to talk with other professionals — mentors and/or supervisors — who have already implemented comprehensive sex education. It is important to get support from your school or organization. While this may feel like a huge undertaking, break it down into discrete steps such as:Assessing the needsResearching solutionsGarnering supportDeveloping a planDeveloping or selecting a curriculumCreating lesson plansGathering resourcesHaving fun!It may help to keep in mind that you may be the only adult who will ever talk to a young person about sexuality in an honest, accurate, and nonjudgmental way. Your good intentions, your positive, healthy attitude, your nonjudgmental tone, and the information you offer may be more than appreciated — it may save a young person’s life. Armed with knowledge about comprehensive sex education, you now need to jump in!  Talk with a mentor or colleague, browse your local library, or surf online to become acquainted with the breadth and scope of resources available. Contact Planned Parenthood educators near you to talk with and learn more about this important topic. Many Planned Parenthood affiliates provide consultation and training to assist with implementing sexuality education programs.

Bring Back Fire in Sex Life -1

Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa, Psychiatrist
Do you recollect the time you first met your partner many years ago? How did you feel? Were you eager and thrilled to talk? Did you think about him after the meeting? What did you feel like when you first touched his/her hand or kiss for the first time? Did you heart beat increase? Compare this with your present interactions with your partner. How many times do you hold each other’s hands? How much time do you spend talking (Other than arguments)?I observe so many young couples talking to each other on the phone in their leisure and private time, though I never understood what they could talk about in so much detail. They eventually get married and after some time they come to me with various sex problems. They often tell me that they don’t have time to talk or don’t feel like doing that. It is a proven fact that poor communication is an indication of a poor sex life. WHAT HAS CHANGED?Such a remarkable change is not accidental. It is due to a change in perception of sexuality over a period of time. Intercourse, orgasm and satisfaction has overshadowed the joys of pleasurable touching, sensual feelings and broad based sexuality.“Satisfaction” is a mirage, often judged by the peers criteria of what they’re doing in bed. There’s a lot more fear among boys regarding possible failure to satisfy their female partner. Person’s playfulness and enjoyment have been replaced by just touching for a couple of minutes leading to intercourse.  Fun and spontaneity has disappeared, replaced by a “rigid goal orientation which pressure the couple to make each sexual encounter a perfect one.” Still worse, now young couples start worrying for conception from each intercourse. “Time Intercourse” for conception as guided by experts have further worsened the situations.What to do? You need to reorient yourself towards pleasurable, sexual feelings while the emphasis should be on discovering in a relaxed, non-goal oriented manner, the sensual pleasure you can derive from touch or being touched. You need to find out the style of touching, stroking and caressing while feeling comfortable and pleasurable. Don’t make assumptions based on misconceptions, fall into ruts or feel devastated asking for a different type of touching. I shall be writing a few exercises for this purpose in the next bog. These are not guidelines but suggestions.

5 Exercises You Should Be Doing Now for Great Sex

Dr. Raviraj Francis, Physiotherapist
Exercises increase energy, tones your muscle, burns fat, improves your mood and self image but you may be surprised to know that it may also improve your sex life.A recent Lancet research paper suggests that as little as 200 calories burnt a day can actually lower the erectile dysfunction risk.In Addition to strength training and cardio, stretching is a great way to loosen up enabling you to experiment with different positions. So even if you have a great sex life, incorporating these exercises and stretching into your workout routine would help you1 - KEGLESYa thats right for both men and women they improve endurance and control of pubococcegus muscle (which holds urine) & Perineal muscles (which provide power before ejaculation). Pelvic floor muscle training can also improve many functions like premature ejaculation and overactive bladder.HOW TO DO:Start by interrupting the flow of urine when going to the bathroom to get familiar with the PC muscles. Once you’re familiar with them, your goal will be to progressively increase the squeeze duration, intensity and number of reps until you tire. But when you do them, don’t hold your breath, push down or tighten your stomach, buttocks or thigh muscles. Work up to five-second squeezes, relaxing in between each contraction, for 10 to 20 reps.2 - PLANK POSEIt is the most perfect way to improve stamina and endurance at the gym. And in the bedroom it gives staying power for various on top positions. It also strengthen core which helps in thrust improvement & supports the back to prevent injury.HOW TO DO:Think of your body as a wooden plank, attain a push up level with hands shoulder width apart arms strong and pelvis level. In this position squeeze the inner thigh and & butt cheeks together, tighten the quads and press the hell back so that the feet are flexed. Hold this position for 15 sec and work upto 2 mins, at a time do 2 to 8 repetitions a day and then increase gradually.3 - LYING LEG RAISESIt Provides intense core workout and helps you to last longer in upright position.HOW TO DO:Lie with back flat and legs stretched out in front then raise your legs straight up towards the ceiling and stop when legs are perpendicular to body and floor. Then slowly lower your legs back until they are one inch off the floor. Repeat 3 to 5 times and rest for half a minute. Start with 3 settings initially.4 - PUSH UPsYes the good old push ups strengthen the upper body, core and increase endurance. Doing them regularly will have an intense benefit of upper body strength and overall core during sex.HOW TO DO:Begin in a Plank position hands under the shoulder and feet hip distance apart. Lower the chest to the floor and slowly press back up. Do as many times as you can. 5 - UPWARD FACING DOGThis is a mystic pose also mentioned in early civilization when people's sex life was almost perfect owing to rustic lifestyle and zero pollution. This exercise protects the lower back from heavy lifting either in gym or bedroom. It also stretches the core and hip flexors which rushes the blood to your pelvic area.HOW TO DO:Lie on your belly with legs hip distance apart. Bring hands to the side of the chest and lift the torso by pressing through your hands. Don't hunch the shoulders into the neck keep them stretched and don't hold your breath. Keep this posture for 15 sec and repeat 5 times.

Sex Tips for Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Sex is not all about doing it in the bed. The three attributes that can help you in building an effective relationship with women include - your caring nature, communication skills and your confident attitude. ‘Lusty talk’ during sex can help to stimulate women even more. Tease her and make her feel desirable and you are sure to give her orgasm even if your performance is below par. 1. If you sweat during sex don’t worry – sweating men ooze testosterone and it is a biological turn on for women. 2. During sex keep the room warm rather than cold. So maybe turn off the air-conditioner if necessary or turn it on low. Heat causes dilatation of blood vessels and more swelling of the penis and vagina and flushing of the skin. Heat makes you ‘flush during sex.’ 3. If you want your girl to become pregnant make sure you give her a big orgasm. The chances of pregnancy increase because contraction of pelvic muscles during orgasm help the sperms move up the vaginal canal and fertilize the eggs. 4. If your girl has a headache and you have no pills available give her a big orgasm and this can relieve her headache. Sex is known to cure headaches due to release of morphine like pain killer substances in the brain called endorphins. 5. Big orgasm also requires you to indulge in some foreplay. Gently touching, stroking, sucking and licking your partners nipples, thighs, vagina and clitoris are sometimes enough to start the orgasm. Keep the big act for the end. 6. Stimulate her clitoris with your fingers by gently fondling with the area. Remember the sensory nerve fibers have the highest concentration around the clitoris followed by labia, and the outer third of the vagina. 7. Find her G-Spot – G-spot stimulation can give a woman a big orgasm. It is usually located in the front section of the vaginal wall between her vaginal opening and the cervix. Use finger to stroke the front portion of the vagina and during intercourse the best way to stimulate her G-spot is insertion of the penis from the back. If the G-spot and clitoris are stimulated simultaneously the woman is likely to have ‘one hell of a orgasm’ that she is unlikely to forget. 8. Early morning sex is also a great option if you are tired in the night. You can get extra help from the surge of Testosterone in the morning. Blood levels of testosterone are highest just before dawn and are 40% higher than in the evening. 9. Keep your ‘butt’ in shape - Buttocks of a man are the most admired part of a man’s body by women. 10. Age is not a factor for sex as much as it is for women. Studies show that even if you are over 70 years the chances of your being potent is over 73%. Actor Anthony Quinn fathered a baby at the age of 81 years.

married... and Without Sex?

Dr. Mehak Nagpal, Psychiatrist
Some of the most common causes of sexless marriages seen in a sexologist’s daily practice are: hurt feelings, getting turned down repeatedly, not making enough time or not creating the environment for intimacy, or even not communicating their problems to each other.The question obviously, is whether refraining from sex causes other problems, or if the other problems stop the sex in the first place?"It's a cycle"In other words, one can exacerbate the other — and before you know it, no one can remember what came first.Many people ask how much sex should a healthy couple have?Research shows it is a very frequently google-d question; much more so than "how to make your marriage work" and "sexual dysfunction"The answer is that it varies; and it is up to the couple to figure out how much is comfortable for them.It is important NOT to get complacent about trying to have sex. Be sure that your spouse is willing to make the effort and work on the issue as well. Intimacy keeps couples connected together. Also intimacy is often confused with sexual intercourse per se. When a couple has had a long period without sex, for instance several months together, it's important to address the problem for both partners individually and as a unit, so that the months don't turn into years.Some couples won't have sex for 1-2 years and then visit a sexologist and ask for help with conception. It is possible to get to the bottom of the problem at that point and sort out issues between the couple, but it's much more challenging and takes longer to rectify. If they haven't had sex for a couple of months, that's when they really should be asking questions. That's a good time to come in and start therapy as soon as possible. Otherwise, anger and frustration builds, and it takes longer to fix it that way. However both the partners shouldn't feel like they have to stick to a regular schedule during stressful or tumultuous times.After a period of sexual inactivity, you and your partner CAN get back on the proverbial horse.