Articles on sexual acts

Psychology of Sexual Response

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
One of the qualities of human being is its capacity to be modified by its experience. The process is known as learning & conditioning. Most of the aspects of human sexual behavior appear to be the product pf learning and conditioning. As individual may prefer a particular type of individual as sexual partner-tall/short, younger/older single /variety of partners, heterosexual /homosexual ,petting/immediate coitus, single/variety of positions.Flagellation Masochism, Transvestism and variety of fetishes appear to be the products of conditioning fortified by some other aspects of personality and by inherent capacities.So called aberrant types of behavior meaning the less usual types of conditioned responses may be disadvantageous, but they are of social concern.  The classification of behavior as normal or abnormal represents moralistic Classification rather than any scientific one. Once known as perversion was later called as Deviation and now as variation.Individuals become erotically aroused when they observe other individuals engaging in sexual activity. Most males are likely to respond quite immediately to such stimuli to come to erection and to seek the opportunity for sexual activity. These are Sympathetic Response. The restriction which the human societies place upon the public performances of sexual act arose from attempt to control the sympathetic response of the bystanders.Males are more often conditioned by their sexual experience than females. There is tremendous variation in which different individuals may be affected by psychological stimuli females differ from average males. Females masturbate without associated sexual fantasies while all males do fantasize while masturbating. Females never had sexual drams while they slept while all the males have nocturnal sex dreams. Males are erotically aroused by seeing photographs or paintings of nudes are produced primarily for consumption of males. There are no male/female nude photographs or magazines produce for consumption of females. Heterosexual males are aroused by observing females breasts, genitalia or some other part of  the females body while most of the females are not aroused by observing male genitalia. Males are inclined to initiate a sexual relationship trough genital stimulation. Most females prefer to be stimulated tactilely in various other parts of the body before the activity is concentrated on the genitalia. It is complaint of married females that the husband is interested in nothing but intercourse. On the other hand it is a constant complaint of married male that his wife will do nothing to him which means that she does not tactilely stimulate his genitalia.Many males have their sexual activities where there is some light. Male is stimulated by seeing genitalia or other parts of the body of sexual partner while females are much less attracted by observing the male partner genitalia. Females do not prefer light during their sexual activity.   Many husband fail to comprehend that their wives may need general physical stimulation before they are sufficiently aroused and aroused and want a genital union.Males are erotically stimulated by seeing pornographic literature or films, while females are not stimulated by the same. Females like to deal with general emotional situations affectional relationship and love.Wall inscriptions in public toilet provide information on extent and nature of the suppressed sexual desires of males and females sexual material on the walls of male toilet are drawings slang words phrases or genitalia. In female toilet walls the inscriptions referred to love associated names lipstick impressions or drawings of hearts; but no genital action inscriptions are observed.Many males marry so as to have an opportunity to have coitus regularly with their wife; while an average female marries to establish a home to establish a long term affect ional relationship with her spouse and to have children whose welfare becomes the prime business of her life.Average male has a greater need than for females for regular and frequent sexual outlet.It is difficult for the males to understand that females are not aroused by seeing male genitalia. Many males conclude that she is no longer in love with him. On the contrary many females feel that their husbands are vulgar or perverted because they want to display their genitalia. Difficulties develop in marital relationship because of this failure of females to understand male psychology, and of males to understand female psychology. 

Benefits of Orgasm for Women

Mrs. Sneha Fernandes, Psychologist
“Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognize them allas one.”  Alexandra Katehakis,It is well known that orgasms makes one feel great, but  it also helps in more sound sleep, cuts down belly fat, etc.Orgasm is one of the greatest sensations our bodies can experience.Women are thought to have up to 11 different types of orgasms which can differ in intensity from a mild and subtle feeling to an intense and explosive rush of sensations, depending on how their bodies and minds are feeling at the time and also how they feel about the person they are engaged with.Achieving an orgasm can have an array of health benefits that affect a woman physically and emotionally—due to the chemical changes that take place within their bodies.Stimulation of Love hormone:One benefit of orgasms is that they stimulate the release of oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. This surge also raises levels of a substancecalled CCK, which helps control the appetite.Oxytocinalso counteracts stress and depression by combating the harmful effects of cortisol, which is well known for its role in boosting belly fat and cravings for carbs. The dose of dopamine that one gets from sex increases steadily to the point of orgasm and then declines which also assists in curbing the need tofeed. The dopamine pathways in the brain involved in stimulating the desire for both sex and food are shut down by the hormones released immediately after an orgasm. Can you imagine better news for appetite and craving control?Boost in testosterone levels:Although it may seem like one needs testosterone to have a libido, it also works the other way around. Women who enjoy more orgasms have increased estrogen and testosterone. When present in the proper balance, these hormones add fire to sexual desire, give us more sex appeal, improve mood and memory and can even (again) prevent abdominal fat.Although the women’s testosterone was higher both before and after sexual intercourse, cuddling gave the biggest testosterone boost of all.Beats inflammation and builds social life:Most of us know that a healthy sex life can help beat stress. There are even more great benefits of oxytocin such as lowering blood pressure and even improving digestion.A powerful pain relief:Some studies suggest that a good orgasm can more than double a woman’s tolerance for pain. Plus, it’s an analgesic, not an anesthetic, meaning it suppresses pain without affecting sensitivity to touch — a critical ingredient when sex is on the menu.Reductionof stressOrgasms can protect your ticker. Sexual activity and orgasm are shown to reduce stress due to the surge of oxytocin, the so-called “cuddle hormone,” that occurs with orgasm. What’s more, studies show that orgasms lower blood pressure levels — at least among women.Relaxed lifestyleOrgasms  triggers a cascade of bodily events, including the release of other feel-good hormones called endorphins. These endorphins often have a sedative effect. So it’s no surprise that most of the time after having enjoyed a fabulous night of sleep following helps one sleep better.Keeping in good shapeOrgasms can help one stay in shape and lose weight. Getting busy for 30 minutes helps to burn calories. In fact, according to some estimates, one can torch up to 200 calories.ADVANTAGESImproves circulation to organs- growing healthy tissues, and mentally relaxed. Women who have intercourse (foreplay) atleast once a week are mentally active.Orgasmhelps one’s natural detoxification process to improve digestion and mood and help prevent cancer.Promotes healthy estrogen levels to keep vaginal tissues supple and protect against osteoporosis and heart disease.Induces deep relaxation by boosting endorphin levels and flushing cortisol (aninflammatory hormone released by the adrenal glands) out of the body.Improves brain function, balances the immune system, helps maintain and repair tissue, and promotes healthy skin.Look younger—studies show making love three times a week in a stress free relationship can make one look 10 years younger.Boosts infection-fighting cells up to 20%–helps fight colds and flu!Cures migraines and helps treat other types of pain by elevating pain thresholds (a bonus when preparing for childbirth!)Increases level of the hormone oxytocin, which is linked to passion, intuition, and social skills—the hormone of bonding and success!Day to Day - builds  stamina & burn calories.Today's lifestyle & state of your mind is being in a constant state of stress and alert, the last thing your body wants to do is have sex or fitness – which means you won’t get to experience the benefits of orgasm! Your body goes into survival mode and is just worried about sustaining itself.Shows- single women or divorcee suffer from anger, lioness, frustration & depression, due to lack of orgasm.Symptoms & signs that one might be suffering with adrenal exhaustion:Hidden stress & restless mind.Lack of orgasm in female, men lose focusleading to low confidence.Lack of orgasms  can lead to insomnia.Without orgasms one will be unable to alleviate pain.Without orgasm brain lacks stimulation.Lack of Orgasms one  may look aged.

Female Sexual Disorder & the Current Thinking Internationally!

Dr. Sharmila Majumdar, Sexologist
Sexual dysfunction is broadly defined as the inability to fully enjoy sexual intercourse. The disorder must be deemed to have caused significant distress. In addition to the existing specifiers of lifelong vs acquired & generalized vs situational, a new severity scale was added: the disorder can be described as mild, moderate or severe.A new criteria called “associated features” was introduced. It is subdivided into 5 categories: Partner factors (e.g., partner sexual problem; partner health status); Relationship factors (e.g., poor communication); Individual vulnerability factors (e.g., poor body image; history of sexual or emotional abuse), psychiatric comorbidity (e.g., depression; anxiety), or stressors (e.g., job loss; bereavement);Cultural or religious factors (e.g., inhibitions related to prohibitions against sexual activity); andMedical factors relevant to prognosis.Causal Factors in Sexual Dysfunction - predisposing factors, precipitating factors and maintaining factors.About 43% of women and about 31% of men have experienced sexual dysfunction based on several surveys. This makes sexual dysfunction one of the most common psychological problem.Specific techniques to overcome some of the disorder symptoms are to increase communication between the couple, increase self understanding and sensate focus exercises will help the couple Immensely alleviate some issues with immediate intervention and help of their doctor i.e. A sexologist or an andrologist.

Sexual Response Cycle in Males

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
Men and woman, with some sexually arousing stimulus, proceed through orgasm and end with a return of the body to a sexually unstimulated state. This is described in four stages: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. There is no sharply defined moments when one stage ends and the next begins. Each phase merges with the next phase.ExcitementMen: Erection of penis, marked increase in its size, and a rise in its angle. Erection may be triggered by penis itself or by sexually stimulating sight, smell or thought. It occurs in 3 to 8 seconds.A small penis may double in length, while in a large penis lengthening is less marked.Partial elevation and increase in the size of testes.Plateau Full erection of penis. Increase in size and full elevation of testes. Little secretion from Cowper’s glands appears at the Urethral meatus.OrgasmOrgasm occurs in two distinct stages. In the first stage the Vas deferens, the prostate and Seminal vesicles begin a series of contractions that forces semen into the bulb of the urethra. The man experiences a sensation of ‘Ejaculatory inevitability –the feeling of having reached brink of control. At this point ejaculation cannot be stopped. In the second stage of orgasm contraction of urethra and penis combined with contraction in the prostate to cause ejaculation (spurting of semen out of tip of penis). During ejaculation the neck of the urinary bladder is tightly shut to avoid any mixture of semen and urine. The rhythmic contractions of prostate, the perineal muscles and the penis occur initially at 0.8 seconds intervals.Male orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same process. Although the two occur simultaneously, orgasm refers to muscular contraction and release of sexual tension, while ejaculation refers to the release of semen. Orgasm without ejaculation is common in boy before puberty.ResolutionMan is not able to have multiple orgasms. Immediately after the ejaculation man enters a ‘refractory period’ during which further orgasm or ejaculation is impossible. Usually the erection subsides quickly. There is grate variability in the duration of refractory period. It may last from few minutes to many hours. This period gets longer with each repeated ejaculation. As the man gets older, the refractory period gets longer. The period of return to the unaroused state is called the ‘resolution phase’. The anatomical and physiological changes that occurred during excitement and the plateau phase reverse. Blood is pumped out of penis and therefore loss of erection. The testes decrease in size and descend in scrotum.

Deflating Erection?! Know the Causes.

Dr. Anish Kumar Gupta, Andrologist
Loss of erection prematurely during sexual activity without ejaculation is what is the definition of a deflating erection. A lot of people face the same without understanding why the same is happening.Stress and Depression: Since brain is one of the most erogenous zones, a lot of causes are linked to a healthy brain. Both stress and depression can lead to difficulty in getting an erection, premature loss of erection, or even delayed orgasm in certain cases.Alcohol: More than a few drinks plays havoc with the axis of brain and phallus, leading to a heightened desire but early loss of erection at times.Medications and Drugs: Some medications for other medical conditions, can lead to a decrease in erectile function, most do not lead to deflation of an erection midway. This may be observed on the other hand with street drugs – like cocaine / ganja / hashish.Anger: Unexpressed anger or improperly expressed anger can contribute to performance problems in the bedroom. The same can be against your partner or anyone else, but the effect may be seen in the bedroom.Performance Anxiety: This is a circle you do not want to get into. Anxiety related to performance in bed or other life anxieties spilling into the bedroom can spiral into vicious cycle, which puts a big strain on the sex life and the relationship.Obesity: Affects the sexual performance, self-esteem, may play havoc with Sr. Testosterone. It can also be linked to high blood pressure. All can contribute to an early detumescence.Negative Self Image: A negative self image can make you worry about how one looks but also how well you will perform in bed.Low Libido: Low performance is not the same as lack of interest in sex. A lot of the factors listed above can also lead to low libido. This is another circle, which can get difficult to treat.It can be embarrassing to talk to someone about your sexual problems, but it’s the best way to get treated and getting back to intimacy with your partner.

Factors That Affect a Man's Sexual Drive!

Mrs. Sneha Fernandes, Psychologist
"Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions, bad sex is about blocked emotions."  -Deepak Chopra Having trouble in the bedroom? Haven't been feeling the passion lately? You might want to focus on the following things:FITNESSOne of the best ways to improve one's health is cardiovascular exercise. While sex might get one's heart rate up, regular exercise can help sexual performance. Thirty minutes a day of brisk walk, exercise, running, swimming, yoga, etc. will do wonders to boost one's libido. FOOD INTAKEOnions, Garlic, Bananas has potassium which can help to lower the blood pressure and which in turn can benefit important sexual parts and boost sexual performance.Chilies, Peppers - Omega-3 acids: Found in fish like salmon and tuna as well as avocados and olive oil, this type of fat increases blood flow.Vitamin B1: This vitamin helps signals in the nervous system to move quicker, including signals from brain. It’s found in pork, peanuts, and kidney beans.Eggs white: High in other B vitamins, eggs help balance hormone levels, which can decrease stress that often inhibits sexual performance. QUALITY TIMESex isn’t a one man's show. Giving respect & importance to your partner’s desires not only makes sex pleasurable, but it can also help turn you on. Talking about this beforehand can help ease any awkwardness if you need to slow down during a heated moment. Alternating pace or focusing on your partner while you take a break can make for a more enjoyable experience for both of you. COPING WITH STRESSTips to help you cope:-Don’t give silent treatment! Feeling alone makes stress harder & pressure on your mind will increase.Talking to somebody trustworthy can really help one to deal with stress and to work out how to tackle the problems.-Make a list of all the things in your life that are making you feel stressed– write them down on a piece of paper. Then take each one in turn and list all the things you could do to tackle it. This can help you sort things out in your head. Problems look easier to deal with one at a time, take deep breath & learn to relax.-Take a break - do something that you really enjoy. Do something relaxing, for example -body message, hot bath, reading book, gardening, having a pet or watch a film. -Exercise or dance, this produces chemicals in your body called ‘endorphins’ which make you feel good!Focus on the following to boost your libido on your own Healthy lifestyleHave good sleepPracticing stress managementHealthy dietSexual PerformancePositive thinking Reasons why Men have Performance Issues: Stressful Marriage (High expectations, controlling, no respect, nagging & not giving space as a wife)Stressful LifeBad HabitsIllness"Sex is perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?"  -Sue Johanson 

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Many men have sexual problems. They become more common as men age. Problems can include:• Erectile dysfunction• Reduced or lost interest in sex• Problems with ejaculation• Low testosteroneStress, illness, medicines, or emotional problems may also be factors. Occasional problems with sexual function are common. If problems last more than a few months or cause distress for you or your partner,The main types of male sexual dysfunction are:• Erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting/keeping an erection)• Premature ejaculation (reaching orgasm too quickly)• Delayed or inhibited ejaculation (reaching orgasm too slowly or not at all)• Low libido (reduced interest in sex)How does sexual dysfunction affect men?The most common problems men face with sexual dysfunction are troubles with ejaculation, getting and keeping an erection, and reduced sexual desire.Ejaculation disordersProblems with ejaculation are:• Premature ejaculation (PE) — ejaculation that occurs before or too soon after penetration• Inhibited or delayed ejaculation — ejaculation does not happen or takes a very long time• Retrograde ejaculation — at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the  end of the penisThe exact cause of premature ejaculation (PE) is not known. While in many cases PE is due to performance anxiety during sex, other factors may be:• Stress• Temporary depression• History of sexual repression• Low self-confidence• Lack of communication or unresolved conflict with partnerWhile male sexual dysfunction cannot be prevented, dealing with the causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it happens. To help maintain good sexual function:• Follow your doctor’s treatment plan for any of your medical/health conditions• Limit your alcohol intake• Quit smoking• Communicate better and more often with your partner

Foreplay: Is It Important for Your Sexual Life?

Dr. A. V. Lohit, Sexologist
Lovemaking is not restricted to just the part of having sex. If you are forgetting foreplay, you are missing out on one of the best parts of the lovemaking experience. But the pleasure of foreplay is just one part of it; you need to understand the biological perspective to gain an insight into the nature of the stimulation. While men are aroused in a few minutes, women take more time to get to the state. Foreplay ensures that both partners are at their peak of arousal at the time of sexual intercourse. And it also helps in attaining orgasm for both. At the initial stages, individuals don’t need to prolong foreplay to get aroused. But with age, it becomes important to get full arousal and get ready to have an intense and satisfying lovemaking experience. Otherwise, it will only be a half-hearted attempt at something that is ensures the best times of your life. For men, it ensures an erection, and for women, it ensures lubrication to make the experience pleasurable to both. It’s normal for a regular sexual relationship to fall into a routine; you need to have a good idea about how to use foreplay to spice things up. Now that you have a good idea about why it’s important, let’s find out more:What constitutes foreplay? From hugging, kissing, caressing, petting, fondling, to teasing, undressing, and oral sex are part of it. But it’s not about touch alone, anything from looking at each other longingly, reading a dirty novel, to seeing a movie together or giving her a neck massage may lead to arousal. Remember, a long kiss on the mouth can be a good beginning. But it’s not essentially the end. Long lingering kisses on every body part is often the best experience for a woman, and can lead to arousal with ease. Why do you need to create the right mood? In the mature stage of a relationship, you need to prepare the right setup to ensure full arousal. Soft lights, cozy temperature, clean sheets, may be some aromatic candles can make up a romantic ambience. Play her favorite music while you undress her to set the mood. How do you know what to do? There are no sets of dos and don’ts when it comes to foreplay. You need to learn about what your partner likes and dislikes on the go. Concentrate on the cues. Make her comfortable. Talk about how lovely she looks and how sexy her lingerie is while you fondle and caress her. You need to find out what arouses her. For some women, kisses on the neck and behind the ears can lead to arousal, while for others, oral stimulation may be necessary to get them stimulated. Identify your partner’s erogenous zones to make foreplay a great experience. For how long is it done? Again, there is no set formula in this regard. You can do it for as long as you and your partner want. Once you two are completely aroused, you can go on with the lovemaking experience. With the right kind and amount of foreplay, you two can achieve orgasm easily and have a better and more satisfying time. Is foreplay necessary? Sometimes, spontaneous sexual encounters are the best experiences. But that’s the exception, not the rule. For most women, arousal takes time and stimulation. And foreplay provides the perfect opportunity for her to get to the state where she becomes excited with desire. Foreplay constitutes the prelude to the lovemaking experience. You can let go of it, but it won’t be the same. If you want to have the best pleasurable time, first you need to make sure that your partner has it too.

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Sexual problems in menFortunately, most sexual problems are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.What causes sexual problems?Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.Physical causes: Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart and vascular ( blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medicines, including some antidepressant medication, can affect sexual desire and function.Psychological causes: These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.Who is affected by sexual problems?Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the older population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with ageing.How do sexual problems affect men?The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction, and inhibited sexual desire.What are ejaculation disorders?There are different types of ejaculation disorders, including:Premature ejaculation -- This refers to ejaculation that occurs before or soon after penetration.Inhibited or retarded ejaculation -- This is when ejaculation is slow to occur.Retrograde ejaculation -- This occurs when, at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the urethra and out the end of the penis.In some cases, premature and inhibited ejaculation are caused by a lack of attraction for a partner, past traumatic events and psychological factors, including a strict religious background that causes the person to view sex as sinful. Premature ejaculation is often is due to nervousness over how well a man will perform during sex. Certain medications, including some anti-depressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the spinal cord.Retrograde ejaculation is common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This is due to problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck that allow the ejaculate to flow backwards and into the bladder. In other men, retrograde ejaculation occurs after operations on the bladder neck or prostate, or after certain abdominal operations. In addition, certain medicines, particularly those used to treat mood disorders, may cause problems with ejaculation. This does not generally require treatment unless it impairs fertilityWhat is erectile dysfunction?Also known as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse. Causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (narrowing of the arteries); nerve disorders; psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to sexually perform); and injury to the penis. Chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie's disease (scar tissue in the penis) can also cause erectile dysfunction.What is inhibited sexual desire?Inhibited desire, or loss of libido, refers to a decrease in desire for, or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can result from physical or psychological factors. It has been associated with low levels of the hormone testosterone. It also may be caused by psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses, such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain medications, including some anti-depressants; and relationship difficulties