Articles on human sexual activity

Psychology of Sexual Response

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
One of the qualities of human being is its capacity to be modified by its experience. The process is known as learning & conditioning. Most of the aspects of human sexual behavior appear to be the product pf learning and conditioning. As individual may prefer a particular type of individual as sexual partner-tall/short, younger/older single /variety of partners, heterosexual /homosexual ,petting/immediate coitus, single/variety of positions.Flagellation Masochism, Transvestism and variety of fetishes appear to be the products of conditioning fortified by some other aspects of personality and by inherent capacities.So called aberrant types of behavior meaning the less usual types of conditioned responses may be disadvantageous, but they are of social concern.  The classification of behavior as normal or abnormal represents moralistic Classification rather than any scientific one. Once known as perversion was later called as Deviation and now as variation.Individuals become erotically aroused when they observe other individuals engaging in sexual activity. Most males are likely to respond quite immediately to such stimuli to come to erection and to seek the opportunity for sexual activity. These are Sympathetic Response. The restriction which the human societies place upon the public performances of sexual act arose from attempt to control the sympathetic response of the bystanders.Males are more often conditioned by their sexual experience than females. There is tremendous variation in which different individuals may be affected by psychological stimuli females differ from average males. Females masturbate without associated sexual fantasies while all males do fantasize while masturbating. Females never had sexual drams while they slept while all the males have nocturnal sex dreams. Males are erotically aroused by seeing photographs or paintings of nudes are produced primarily for consumption of males. There are no male/female nude photographs or magazines produce for consumption of females. Heterosexual males are aroused by observing females breasts, genitalia or some other part of  the females body while most of the females are not aroused by observing male genitalia. Males are inclined to initiate a sexual relationship trough genital stimulation. Most females prefer to be stimulated tactilely in various other parts of the body before the activity is concentrated on the genitalia. It is complaint of married females that the husband is interested in nothing but intercourse. On the other hand it is a constant complaint of married male that his wife will do nothing to him which means that she does not tactilely stimulate his genitalia.Many males have their sexual activities where there is some light. Male is stimulated by seeing genitalia or other parts of the body of sexual partner while females are much less attracted by observing the male partner genitalia. Females do not prefer light during their sexual activity.   Many husband fail to comprehend that their wives may need general physical stimulation before they are sufficiently aroused and aroused and want a genital union.Males are erotically stimulated by seeing pornographic literature or films, while females are not stimulated by the same. Females like to deal with general emotional situations affectional relationship and love.Wall inscriptions in public toilet provide information on extent and nature of the suppressed sexual desires of males and females sexual material on the walls of male toilet are drawings slang words phrases or genitalia. In female toilet walls the inscriptions referred to love associated names lipstick impressions or drawings of hearts; but no genital action inscriptions are observed.Many males marry so as to have an opportunity to have coitus regularly with their wife; while an average female marries to establish a home to establish a long term affect ional relationship with her spouse and to have children whose welfare becomes the prime business of her life.Average male has a greater need than for females for regular and frequent sexual outlet.It is difficult for the males to understand that females are not aroused by seeing male genitalia. Many males conclude that she is no longer in love with him. On the contrary many females feel that their husbands are vulgar or perverted because they want to display their genitalia. Difficulties develop in marital relationship because of this failure of females to understand male psychology, and of males to understand female psychology. 

Female Sexual Disorder & the Current Thinking Internationally!

Dr. Sharmila Majumdar, Sexologist
Sexual dysfunction is broadly defined as the inability to fully enjoy sexual intercourse. The disorder must be deemed to have caused significant distress. In addition to the existing specifiers of lifelong vs acquired & generalized vs situational, a new severity scale was added: the disorder can be described as mild, moderate or severe.A new criteria called “associated features” was introduced. It is subdivided into 5 categories: Partner factors (e.g., partner sexual problem; partner health status); Relationship factors (e.g., poor communication); Individual vulnerability factors (e.g., poor body image; history of sexual or emotional abuse), psychiatric comorbidity (e.g., depression; anxiety), or stressors (e.g., job loss; bereavement);Cultural or religious factors (e.g., inhibitions related to prohibitions against sexual activity); andMedical factors relevant to prognosis.Causal Factors in Sexual Dysfunction - predisposing factors, precipitating factors and maintaining factors.About 43% of women and about 31% of men have experienced sexual dysfunction based on several surveys. This makes sexual dysfunction one of the most common psychological problem.Specific techniques to overcome some of the disorder symptoms are to increase communication between the couple, increase self understanding and sensate focus exercises will help the couple Immensely alleviate some issues with immediate intervention and help of their doctor i.e. A sexologist or an andrologist.

Gender Scripts, Media, and Sexuality

Rajat Kaur Thukral
There are many gender specific role assumptions for men and women in every culture. For example, men are supposed to be strong and unemotional and women should be nurturing. According to the cognitive-social learning theory, individuals learn gender specific script early on in life from one’s own environment. Individuals tend to model other people in their lives or by watching television or reading magazines. The theory can be applied to sexual attitudes and behaviours as well. Learning gender specific sexual attitudes and behaviors from others has its advantages and disadvantages. One is likely to feel more accepted by the peer group which helps in building one’s self-esteem. But there are various negative consequences, such as, double standards for men and women, impact on women, and society does not appreciate expression of non-traditional forms of sexuality of LGBTQ population.In this day and age, there is a widespread impact of internet and other media channels on sexuality of the viewers. With the advancement of technology there has been bombardment of sexually explicit images and messages on internet, social media, newspapers, music videos, movies, television programs, and advertisements. There is a general trend of portraying women as sexy and attractive.  Women’s body has been objectified to attract men. According to recent survey, 80% of the pictures on the internet are of naked women. Men mostly appear to be dominant and leading whereas females were depicted as passive objects of desire. Music videos and movies capture the young audiences effectively and they are being targeted with these sexualized images which have long lasting impact on their developing identities and sexuality. The impact of sexually explicit content in mass media is pervasive and uncontrolled as they tend to get subliminally registered in the subconscious mind without one’s awareness.  Overall, there are differences between the sexual fantasy, sexual arousal, and expression of sexuality between men and women. These differences are based on various biological, psychological, social, cultural, and developmental factors. These differences are exacerbated and reinforced by the mass media that has long lasting impact on psyche of the audiences. People form sexual beliefs and attitudes subconsciously and unquestionably. This can positively or negatively impact their sexual expectations from oneself or from their partners. These implicit attitudes can have strong impact on relationship satisfaction between couples. When each individual in a relationship becomes aware of one’s beliefs related to sexuality, only then one will be able to become more comfortable with one’s own sexuality and truly respect their partner’s choices.There are certain myths in each society about gender specific roles and sexuality. Here are some stereotypes that are commonly observed in our culture and the possible effects of adhering to such gender scripts.Women do not engage in pre-marital sex.  In India, there is a huge power differential between the sexes and high restrictive standards for women’s sexuality.  Indian culture restricts women to experience sex before marriage.  Women who adhere to such gender specific sexual norm are more likely to perceive sex for reproductive function and not as a source for pleasure. They may run the risk of not having much awareness about their own sexuality which can have consequences for their later marital satisfaction. Women who do not adhere to such gender norms may feel more ashamed or guilty for engaging in premarital sex. Also, they may also feel that there are double standards in the society about sexuality for men and women and may feel the need to rebel against those standards and use sex as a medium for empowerment and liberation.Men are dominant and women are submissive in sex.  Men and women who adhere to these gender scripts are more likely to engage in heterosexual relationships with power imbalance.  Such couples are also more likely to prefer having sex in missionary pose.  Men and women who do not adhere to such gender script are more likely to experiment with their sexuality.  They may engage in trying different sexual positions, different partners, and use more sexual tools to enhance their experience.  Men who do not like to be in dominant role may be judgmentally perceived as more feminine and women who like being in dominant role may be perceived as more masculine.  This may impact their sexual preferences and sexual satisfaction.Men are sexually overactive and women are undersexed.  This is the most common assumption about gender specific sexuality.  It is portrayed in media and internet all around the world. Men who tend to adhere to this assumption are more likely to have multiple relationships and may have difficulties in committing to monogamous relationships. Men who may not adhere to that assumption are more likely to run the risk of being perceived as sexually impotent by their partners. Also, women who may like to have sex frequently may be perceived as more sexually promiscuous. Women may have a hard time asking one’s own partner to have sex. In couples, where both man and woman adhere to such gender specific stereotypes, are not likely to achieve satisfactory sexual intimacy as the woman in the relationship may not feel the need for sex due to repression. Also, the woman in such relationship is more likely to accept the extramarital affairs of her partner.  Hence, it is important to note that these gender scripts can have long-lasting impact on an individual’s sexual life. The cognitive-social theory contends that gender-specific norms are reinforced or internalized at a very young age. Boys and girls get rewarded or punished based on their selection of gender specific behaviors and attitudes. Boys are taught to engage in competitive sports or other physical activities early on, whereas girls are taught to focus on emotions and care-taking of others. Girls learn to be submissive at an early age and are also prohibited to have sex before marriage. So, the girls are more likely to fantasize more emotionally about sex and have more submissive themes in their fantasy. One way of transcending these rigid gender specific role attitudes and behaviors is to integrate both feminine and masculine aspects in each individual. Androgyny is the term that is used to describe an individual with masculine and feminine characteristics. Androgynous individuals who tend to integrate both masculine and feminine aspects of behavior are free to choose attitudes and behaviors that are not predetermined by the larger socio-cultural gender scripts. They are more likely to be comfortable with their own sexuality and can be respectful of other people’s choices. There is an emotional and a physical aspect to sexual intimacy. Androgynous individuals are comfortable in balancing both as they do not inhibit one aspect of oneself and allow full expression of their individuality and sexuality.ReferenceCrooks, R. & Baur, K. (2011). Our Sexuality (11th Ed.). Belmont, CA: Thompson Wadsworth.

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Sexual problems in menFortunately, most sexual problems are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.What causes sexual problems?Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.Physical causes: Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart and vascular ( blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medicines, including some antidepressant medication, can affect sexual desire and function.Psychological causes: These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.Who is affected by sexual problems?Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the older population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with ageing.How do sexual problems affect men?The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction, and inhibited sexual desire.What are ejaculation disorders?There are different types of ejaculation disorders, including:Premature ejaculation -- This refers to ejaculation that occurs before or soon after penetration.Inhibited or retarded ejaculation -- This is when ejaculation is slow to occur.Retrograde ejaculation -- This occurs when, at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the urethra and out the end of the penis.In some cases, premature and inhibited ejaculation are caused by a lack of attraction for a partner, past traumatic events and psychological factors, including a strict religious background that causes the person to view sex as sinful. Premature ejaculation is often is due to nervousness over how well a man will perform during sex. Certain medications, including some anti-depressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the spinal cord.Retrograde ejaculation is common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This is due to problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck that allow the ejaculate to flow backwards and into the bladder. In other men, retrograde ejaculation occurs after operations on the bladder neck or prostate, or after certain abdominal operations. In addition, certain medicines, particularly those used to treat mood disorders, may cause problems with ejaculation. This does not generally require treatment unless it impairs fertilityWhat is erectile dysfunction?Also known as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse. Causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (narrowing of the arteries); nerve disorders; psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to sexually perform); and injury to the penis. Chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie's disease (scar tissue in the penis) can also cause erectile dysfunction.What is inhibited sexual desire?Inhibited desire, or loss of libido, refers to a decrease in desire for, or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can result from physical or psychological factors. It has been associated with low levels of the hormone testosterone. It also may be caused by psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses, such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain medications, including some anti-depressants; and relationship difficulties

Your First Sexual Experience: What to Expect

Dr. Adil Hingora, Homeopath
Making love has centuries of dramatic stories and myths surrounding it. The consequence is that you go into the act of having an intercourse for the first time with unreasonable expectations. This leads to quite a few physical and emotional complications.Here are the answers to some questions that might be on your mind and a few things which you can reasonably expect from your first sexual encounter.Will it be painful?There is a common belief that penetration is painful for the woman. Doctors state that there might only a very brief pinching pain. The tearing of the hymen causes no overwhelming pain. It will bleed only a bit during and after the tearing of the hymen. In several cases, the hymen might already have torn due to exhaustive physical activities like swimming, dancing, cycling etc. The pain is felt during penetration because your anxiety puts a check on the lubrication that makes the act comfortable.Is foreplay needed?Foreplay goes a really long way in lubricating yourself enough to make the act of sex comfortable. Kissing, touching and rubbing are all beneficial for your first time because it can calm your nerves and provide relief from the anxiety which can impair or make your first time uncomfortable or to the worst, painful.Will Orgasm be Achieved?A host of films and literature has cultivated the image of the first time being a deeply satisfying experience, both physically and emotionally.This is not entirely true. It is uncommon to experience an orgasm for women during the first sexual intercourse because of the simple lack of experience. Feeling comfortable with the act should be the expectation and an orgasm, if achieved, becomes an added bonus.

Sexual Problems in Men

Dr. Rahman, Sexologist
Many men have sexual problems. They become more common as men age. Problems can include:• Erectile dysfunction• Reduced or lost interest in sex• Problems with ejaculation• Low testosteroneStress, illness, medicines, or emotional problems may also be factors. Occasional problems with sexual function are common. If problems last more than a few months or cause distress for you or your partner,The main types of male sexual dysfunction are:• Erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting/keeping an erection)• Premature ejaculation (reaching orgasm too quickly)• Delayed or inhibited ejaculation (reaching orgasm too slowly or not at all)• Low libido (reduced interest in sex)How does sexual dysfunction affect men?The most common problems men face with sexual dysfunction are troubles with ejaculation, getting and keeping an erection, and reduced sexual desire.Ejaculation disordersProblems with ejaculation are:• Premature ejaculation (PE) — ejaculation that occurs before or too soon after penetration• Inhibited or delayed ejaculation — ejaculation does not happen or takes a very long time• Retrograde ejaculation — at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the  end of the penisThe exact cause of premature ejaculation (PE) is not known. While in many cases PE is due to performance anxiety during sex, other factors may be:• Stress• Temporary depression• History of sexual repression• Low self-confidence• Lack of communication or unresolved conflict with partnerWhile male sexual dysfunction cannot be prevented, dealing with the causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it happens. To help maintain good sexual function:• Follow your doctor’s treatment plan for any of your medical/health conditions• Limit your alcohol intake• Quit smoking• Communicate better and more often with your partner

Sexual Response Cycle in Males

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
Men and woman, with some sexually arousing stimulus, proceed through orgasm and end with a return of the body to a sexually unstimulated state. This is described in four stages: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. There is no sharply defined moments when one stage ends and the next begins. Each phase merges with the next phase.ExcitementMen: Erection of penis, marked increase in its size, and a rise in its angle. Erection may be triggered by penis itself or by sexually stimulating sight, smell or thought. It occurs in 3 to 8 seconds.A small penis may double in length, while in a large penis lengthening is less marked.Partial elevation and increase in the size of testes.Plateau Full erection of penis. Increase in size and full elevation of testes. Little secretion from Cowper’s glands appears at the Urethral meatus.OrgasmOrgasm occurs in two distinct stages. In the first stage the Vas deferens, the prostate and Seminal vesicles begin a series of contractions that forces semen into the bulb of the urethra. The man experiences a sensation of ‘Ejaculatory inevitability –the feeling of having reached brink of control. At this point ejaculation cannot be stopped. In the second stage of orgasm contraction of urethra and penis combined with contraction in the prostate to cause ejaculation (spurting of semen out of tip of penis). During ejaculation the neck of the urinary bladder is tightly shut to avoid any mixture of semen and urine. The rhythmic contractions of prostate, the perineal muscles and the penis occur initially at 0.8 seconds intervals.Male orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same process. Although the two occur simultaneously, orgasm refers to muscular contraction and release of sexual tension, while ejaculation refers to the release of semen. Orgasm without ejaculation is common in boy before puberty.ResolutionMan is not able to have multiple orgasms. Immediately after the ejaculation man enters a ‘refractory period’ during which further orgasm or ejaculation is impossible. Usually the erection subsides quickly. There is grate variability in the duration of refractory period. It may last from few minutes to many hours. This period gets longer with each repeated ejaculation. As the man gets older, the refractory period gets longer. The period of return to the unaroused state is called the ‘resolution phase’. The anatomical and physiological changes that occurred during excitement and the plateau phase reverse. Blood is pumped out of penis and therefore loss of erection. The testes decrease in size and descend in scrotum.

Masturbation in Females

Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexologist
Masturbation is the one activity in which the second largest number of females engages both before and after marriage. In coitus, females may be delayed or completed prevented from the most specific and quickest means of achieving orgasm. Masturbation has not been as frequent and regular a source of sexual outlet for females as it has been for the males. Many males are inclined to overestimate the incidence and frequencies of masturbation among females. In females, masturbation may or may not be pursued to point of orgasm, and it may not have orgasm as its objective. Erotic satisfaction and some release from erotic tension are its objective. Most of the females discover how to masturbation as a result of the exploration of their own genitalia. Females do not discuss their sexual experience in the open way as males do. Many female do not begin masturbation till the age of thirty while most of males begin masturbation after the onset of adolescence. About 94 percent of males masturbate, while only 62 percent of females masturbate at some time in the course of their lives.There is higher incidence of masturbation among the older females since there is an actual increase in erotic responsiveness at older ages, reduction of inhibition and they might have learnt by experience of obtaining similar satisfaction though self –masturbation. This is in contrast to males who reach their peak incidence in teenage. In elderly, females as the estrogen level falls, the sex stimulating testosterone hormone (produced by suprarenals) level increases.Some women who fail to reach orgasm in coitus are then stimulated manually by their husbands, or they masturbate themselves until they reach orgasm. Some of the married females , on the other hand, confine their masturbation to period when their husbands are away from home.The frequency of masturbation in single females is once in every two to three weeks and in married females it is once in a month. There is individual variation in any type of sexual activity. There are some females who regularly masturbate to the point of orgasm several times in immediate succession as often as 10 to 20 and even more times within single hour. Many women, often fear, that masturbation would do them physical harm, and consider it morally wrong and biologically abnormal. The scientific truth is that masturbation does not harm in any way. Females choose more types of technique of masturbation than males do. Females most frequently involve in manipulation of clitoris is and /or labia minor. Clitoris is a small bud-like structure-a homologue of male penis, which is located at the upper end of vertical cleft of female genitalia. Labia minor is the paired inner lips and represent body of the penis in male. In masturbation, the females usually moves a finger gently and rhythmically over the sensitive areas, or applies rhythmic or steady pressure with several of her fingers or with her whole hand. Frequently one or two fingers are moved forward between the labia in manner, which brings each stroke against the clitoris. Sometimes the labia are gently and rhythmically pulled to stimulate them. Because these structures are attached to the clitoris. She simultaneously stimulates the organ. Occasionally, her heel or some other object is used to press on the sensitive areas. Clitoris and labia minor are the portions of genitalia which are best supplied with the end organs of touch. Females do not masturbate by penetration of vagina, since walls of vagina are practically without nerves, although there may be some sensory nerves close to the entrance of vagina. Deep vaginal penetration is men’s fantasy and is not the sexual need of women. Major lips of female genitals are involved in masturbation much less frequently. The above mentioned techniques are used by 84 percent of females; while 10 percent of females masturbate by crossing their legs and pressing them to exert steady and rhythmic pressure on the whole genital area. Such pressure affects the clitoris, labia minora and majora.During masturbation the female may lie face down or with her knees drawn against her belly. Her buttocks may then move rhythmically forward and against each other. In face down position, the female presses her genitalia the bed or against a pillow, which is placed under her pelvis or between her pelvis or between her thighs. Thus, the clitoris and other portions of genitals are stimulated. The speed with which the orgasm is achieved through the use of such technique is equal or superior to that with which orgasm may be achieved by any other method. Nipples of the breast are erotically sensitive in nearly half of the females. The females may stimulate them with her hand simultaneously while manipulating her genitals. Breast stimulation alone is not sufficient to effect orgasm. In connection with the above-mentioned techniques of masturbation, most of the females make only occasional vaginal insertion by their finger. Females do not use dildoes as men imagine. Unlike males, females do not fantasize about coitus while masturbating. Females masturbate for the sake of immediate satisfaction and as a means of resolving physiologic disturbances, which arise when they are aroused sexually. After masturbation they function more efficiently in their everyday affairs. Some females believe that pimples, mental dullness, poor posture, stomach upsets, ovarian pains, infections, weak eyes, headaches and several ailments are due to masturbation. Physicians have not been able to relate  these disturbances to masturbation. Thus masturbation is a safe sexual outlet for females as well as for males.Fatigue after masturbation is like that which follows after any other activity utilizing energy. They recover from exhaustion within a matter of minutes or after a night of sleep. Research on sex have come to a conclusion that the tremendous amount of damage done is due to the worry over masturbation and attempts to abstain from this activity, rather than the activity itself. When no guilt, anxiety or fear is involved, the physical satisfaction due to sexual activity leaves an individual well adjusted psychologicallyIt has been observed that premarital experience in masturbation actually contributes to the female’s better capacity to respond during coitus after her marriage. It has been experienced by many women that premenstrual pain is relieved after masturbation. The reason is that as a result of orgasm achieved through masturbation, the blood flow in the genital area is diverted to the rest of the body and the congestion of blood that causes pain is relieved. It has also been observed that if a female gets orgasm during coitus chances of pregnancy increase since the mouth of the uterus opens wider, allowing more sperms flowing in.

Foreplay: Is It Important for Your Sexual Life?

Dr. A. V. Lohit, Sexologist
Lovemaking is not restricted to just the part of having sex. If you are forgetting foreplay, you are missing out on one of the best parts of the lovemaking experience. But the pleasure of foreplay is just one part of it; you need to understand the biological perspective to gain an insight into the nature of the stimulation. While men are aroused in a few minutes, women take more time to get to the state. Foreplay ensures that both partners are at their peak of arousal at the time of sexual intercourse. And it also helps in attaining orgasm for both. At the initial stages, individuals don’t need to prolong foreplay to get aroused. But with age, it becomes important to get full arousal and get ready to have an intense and satisfying lovemaking experience. Otherwise, it will only be a half-hearted attempt at something that is ensures the best times of your life. For men, it ensures an erection, and for women, it ensures lubrication to make the experience pleasurable to both. It’s normal for a regular sexual relationship to fall into a routine; you need to have a good idea about how to use foreplay to spice things up. Now that you have a good idea about why it’s important, let’s find out more:What constitutes foreplay? From hugging, kissing, caressing, petting, fondling, to teasing, undressing, and oral sex are part of it. But it’s not about touch alone, anything from looking at each other longingly, reading a dirty novel, to seeing a movie together or giving her a neck massage may lead to arousal. Remember, a long kiss on the mouth can be a good beginning. But it’s not essentially the end. Long lingering kisses on every body part is often the best experience for a woman, and can lead to arousal with ease. Why do you need to create the right mood? In the mature stage of a relationship, you need to prepare the right setup to ensure full arousal. Soft lights, cozy temperature, clean sheets, may be some aromatic candles can make up a romantic ambience. Play her favorite music while you undress her to set the mood. How do you know what to do? There are no sets of dos and don’ts when it comes to foreplay. You need to learn about what your partner likes and dislikes on the go. Concentrate on the cues. Make her comfortable. Talk about how lovely she looks and how sexy her lingerie is while you fondle and caress her. You need to find out what arouses her. For some women, kisses on the neck and behind the ears can lead to arousal, while for others, oral stimulation may be necessary to get them stimulated. Identify your partner’s erogenous zones to make foreplay a great experience. For how long is it done? Again, there is no set formula in this regard. You can do it for as long as you and your partner want. Once you two are completely aroused, you can go on with the lovemaking experience. With the right kind and amount of foreplay, you two can achieve orgasm easily and have a better and more satisfying time. Is foreplay necessary? Sometimes, spontaneous sexual encounters are the best experiences. But that’s the exception, not the rule. For most women, arousal takes time and stimulation. And foreplay provides the perfect opportunity for her to get to the state where she becomes excited with desire. Foreplay constitutes the prelude to the lovemaking experience. You can let go of it, but it won’t be the same. If you want to have the best pleasurable time, first you need to make sure that your partner has it too.