This is a case where Mr Veer Malhotra (23), who was going through depression. He came to us for an individual counselling session. He was very shy by nature, had very few friends. He started liking one of his classmates during the first year of his graduation in Mechanical Engineering. The friendship grew stronger and his feelings for her developed. It was when he confronted her about the feelings; she claimed to like someone else.
She disrespected him and mocked him for misunderstanding the friendship and having such feelings. She even compared him with her boyfriend and told him that he is nowhere better than him. He took her negative remarks very deeply that it lead him to feel unworthy. Her words constantly budged in his head and shook his confidence badly. He felt disgusted and wasn't able to do things he liked, even the easiest tasks took time. This impacted his self-esteem in the worst manner he avoided his friends and manifested depressive symptoms.He was unable to face reality and became hopeless for finding a partner.
During the counselling sessions, we got to know that his childhood was quite disciplined. His father is serving for the army and wanted him also to join the army. While his mother was a homemaker and very soft-spoken by nature. His father was quite dominating and nobody at home had much to say for his decisions. He was more than an average student, but very much disinterested in the army. He was not very disciplined and was frequently scolded and beaten up for getting fewer marks or his naughty behaviour.
He is quite creative and has interests in art, he loves to make sketches and paintings in his free time. Lately, due to his workload in engineering, he is unable to enjoy his hobby also. It was quite evident that he was isolating himself and focusing on the negative things. He had the potential to do, but as his self-esteem got scared, it was becoming difficult for him to see the brighter side.
Through individual counselling, we helped him to understand what he is going through. Due to his rejection, he wasn't able to focus on anything, just trying to involve in work as a form of escapism. We assisted him to build up his self-esteem, by making a routine where he rightly maintains work-life balance and also suggested him to spend some individual time indulging in his hobbies. He was also asked not to sit alone, doing nothing. We made him socialise with friends and family, especially whenever he is feeling alone or upset. He claimed to be closer to his mother, we advised him to share things and open up to her. Last but not least, he was also made to focus on creating happy moments for lifetime harvesting quality time with people he likes than ruminating on what happened in the past.
After 5-7 sessions, he has been able to concentrate on his work, started thinking positive and have healthy interaction with others. He took control of his life in his hands to an extent that her absence stopped bothering him. He also realized his importance and self-worth.