If you are worried about the future of your marriage or relationship, you have plenty of company. Although in this new generation there are people who prefer to marry only when they are ready after they have experienced bad relationships or to get convinced with the mixed feelings they have for the opposite sex. At the sometime, there are few things that most people miss considering before they are even mentally ready for marriage. What makes you feel that you are ready? Well, its something many people don't ask themselves and are either influenced by others or get into another toxic relationship to escape their other problems. Often it could be that all your friends are married and you are the only one left alone, or your parents are pressurizing you to get married, or you succumb to societal norms, or maybe because its just fascinating to dress up for that Big Day and think about having your own room and plan for a kid later to see your child grow? Influence plays an important role in our society. There are various reasons for some marriages to fail and later tag that as “infatuation”. Or a“Mistake”. But really? Is that the case? In my work as a counsellor, I often see my highly sensitive and analytical clients perseverance on questions such as, "Do I love my partner enough?" and "What does mean to be in love?" And for my younger clients — those in their early to mid-20s — the big question is,"Am I too young to get married?"
Few factors that you should consider, to see if you are really ready for marriage are:
1. You understand the difference between real love and infatuation. When you're infatuated, you expect to feel in love all of the time. You expect your partner to be flawless and you expect the "in love" feelings to last forever. This isn't reality, and if you're addicted to highs of the infatuation stage you're probably not ready for marriage
2. You're ready to grieve the end of being single. You're ready let go of first dates, first kisses,the thrill of the chase. You're ready to let go of the every other possibility of partner. You understand what it means to commit to one person for lifetime. This is difficult at any age, but requires particular attention if you haven't had much experience in the dating realm to begin with. And it's essential that you take time to acknowledge and grieve that you're saying goodbye to a stage of life.
3. You understand that it's not your partner's job to fulfill you, complete you, rescue you, or make you feel alive. A healthy marriage requires that two healthy, whole people come together to learn and grow their capacity to give and receive love. Marriage is not, as our culture suggests, meant to provide you with the answer to all of your problems. If you're marrying with the hope that marriage will fix your problems, it's best to wait and attend to your problems on your own first.
4. You have a healthy way of handling conflict. You and your partner can talk well about difficult subjects. You may fight occasionally (that's normal), but you are generally respectful of each other and can ultimately arrive at a healthy compromise.
5. You are aligned in terms of core values. You don't have to enjoy the same hobbies or interests to have a healthy marriage, but you do have to be on the same page regarding religion, having children, money, and spending time with family. You don't even have to share the same religion or have the same money style, but you do need to know how you'll handle future issues on these essential values.
The bottom line is that maturity is often less function of age as it is about a certain wisdom and willingness to take responsibility