I have a son aged 29 yrs and he is in relationship ( since 06 yrs) with MUSLIM girl of 32 yrs and girl is more educated than my son. She is MBA and my son is B TECH. I don't want to accept this relationship. Am I right? If wrong, then should I accept this? If I accept what are future problems that can arise due to such inter faith ( between Hindu and Muslims) and how to overcome problems. Iam tensed. Pl guide, what to do? How to convince my wife , she is more adamant not to accept this relationship.
Answers (14)
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Hi,
It's understandable to feel concerned about your son's relationship, especially with the complexities that can arise from interfaith dynamics. However, it's essential to keep an open mind and consider that love and commitment often transcend religious differences. While there may be potential challengesâsuch as differing cultural practices, family expectations, and religious beliefsâthese issues can be navigated with mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to compromise. Instead of approaching this from a place of rejection, consider having open conversations with your son about his relationship, learning more about his partner, and discussing how both of them envision their future together. To help convince your wife, emphasize the importance of supporting your sonâs happiness and the value of acceptance in fostering a loving family environment. Encourage a dialogue where both of you can express your concerns and fears while also listening to the positive aspects of their relationship. Finding common ground can ease tensions and help you both understand that love comes in many forms and that mutual respect can pave the way for a harmonious future.
Hello, thank you for sharing this concern. You're not alone—many parents face similar situations in today’s world. I understand that this is stressful and affecting the peace in your household. It’s completely natural to feel conflicted when your expectations and beliefs are challenged.
Here are some things that might help:
1) Journaling Exercise (Self-Reflection)
- Write down your feelings without judgment.
- Identify specific concerns (e.g., cultural differences, societal expectations).
- Reframe concerns by considering potential positives.
2) Communication Practice
- Plan a calm, non-judgmental conversation with your son.
- Use “I” statements (“I feel worried about…”).
- Ask open-ended questions (“Can you help me understand what makes this relationship special to you?”).
3) Perspective Shift
- List qualities you value in a person, regardless of religion.
- Identify shared values between you, your son, and his partner.
- Seek insight from someone with a similar experience.
4) Family Counseling with a Professional
- Creates a safe space for open discussions.
- Helps navigate emotions and strengthen family bonds.
Next Steps
Would you like to discuss this further? I’d be happy to support you through this journey.
Here is my well thought reply
It’s natural for parents to feel concerned about their children’s life choices, especially in matters of marriage. However, the core question to ask is: What truly matters in a lifelong relationship—religion, education, or compatibility and happiness?
Are Your Concerns Justified?
Interfaith relationships can bring challenges, but they can also be fulfilling if both partners respect each other’s beliefs and values. Your concerns may stem from:
1. Cultural & Religious Differences – Will they respect each other’s faith and traditions?
2. Family & Social Acceptance – Will both families be supportive or create conflict?
3. Future of Children – How will they raise their kids? What faith will they follow?
Should You Accept It?
The key question is Are they happy together? If your son and his partner share mutual respect, understanding, and emotional connection, then their relationship has a strong foundation. Love and compatibility matter more than educational differences or religious backgrounds.
Possible Future Problems & Solutions
1. Family Resistance: Your wife may feel strongly against it due to societal or personal beliefs. Solution: Have open discussions about values, rather than focusing on religion.
2. Different Festivals & Customs: They must create a balance by celebrating both traditions.
3. Children’s Upbringing: They must decide early on how they’ll introduce their children to faith and culture.
How to Convince Your Wife?
• Focus on your son’s happiness rather than societal opinions.
• Meet the girl and understand her values beyond religion.
• Remind her that love, trust, and respect are the foundation of any marriage.
• Give it time—initial resistance may soften with deeper understanding.
Final Thought
If your son is mature, responsible, and deeply committed, your acceptance will strengthen his future. If you remain firm in opposition, it might strain your relationship with him. Instead of thinking “Should I accept it?”, ask “How can we make this work peacefully?”
Acceptance is not about agreeing with everything but about supporting your son’s happiness. Would you rather have a happy son in a strong marriage or a distant son struggling between love and family pressure?
You all need family counseling sessions to overcome interpersonal issues.
You need an expert relationship counseling psychologist.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
Hi
Is religion the only concerning factor here.? How is she as a human? What are her positives? Are they both growing in this relationship? Noticing growth would mean all aspects of growth.
When it comes to future one should consider other factors too- like age difference- as women grow more mature with age- mentally, emotionally and physically there can be conflicts in the future. They would definitely need help to cope with it.
Other factor is education- she is a level up, she would again be doing well and ur son may feel under-confident after a while-in terms of finance or career, unless ur son too works up to be either an equal level or up.
Religion too would be a matter of conflict in subtle ways- there would be cultural differences within the family if not between the couple.
I would suggest- that have an open discussion with the couple and highlight these factors and ask them- how would they deal with it in a peaceful manner.
This needs to be done with a lot of patience and with an open mind,- there will be a lot of difference opinion but if done with the correct and right intention, this can solved.
Marriage is not only about the couple getting married but two different families.
Next Steps
Couple therapy is much needed here. Family too should be involved to highlight each person’s perspective. And lastly, how would the couple deal with such opinions.
As a couple too, if they are very sure of each other, in future, because of a lot of various opinions and differences, the couple would be most effected.
From your perspective as parents I can understand your condition..
Would suggest your son and his partner to go for a Counselling session and get into some clarity about themselves and about there future life..
In such cases of indecisiveness write the pros and cons of marrying your son to a girl who is not of your religion. Can you influence your son's decision, then make him sit and talk to him about the consequences. If he still doesn't change his mind then you have the changes coming ahead.... With regards to your wife, let she vent out her feelings, be an active listener ...till she lets go of her baggage regards to the same.
Dear concerned, It's understandable to have concerns about your son's interfaith relationship. Focus on open communication with him regarding their plans for navigating potential challenges like cultural differences and religious practices. Encourage respectful dialogue between both families.
Next Steps
Consider professional guidance if needed to navigate these complex family dynamics.
Health Tips
Prioritize your son's well-being and maintain a supportive parent-child relationship regardless of your ultimate acceptance of the situation.
To begin with, please remember, there is nothing perfectly right, wrong, good or bad. But we all get conditioned in the environment that we are living in, to perceive the events in life in terms of these four. The reality is that everything is situational and the right or good in one situation may turn out to be wrong or bad in another situation. I feel that the reluctance many in our societies have in accepting people as fellow beings created by nature, based on religious and caste differences, is the outcome of the mental conditioning they undergo in the families and societies right from the childhood. The majority of people in the more developed societies do not discriminate people this way.
With the above as the perspective, I would say that you are not wrong in your belief. But much more than that, what is of larger significance is the way your son's life will shape up in future, with or without a Muslim wife. And you will not be a part of his life till the end. Life evolves for everyone and no decision is perfectly right or wrong forever. But it surely is wrong to thrust our likes and dislikes on others, including on those connected with us closely. So, my suggestion for you would be to try your best to come out of your conditioned beliefs, likes, dislikes etc. and accept the well thought-out choices of others, including of your son. Nothing is permanent in life, including life itself. If there is anything permanent, it is change. So, there is no harm in trying to change your perceptions and beliefs if it is going to suit your son's perception and beliefs and let him live his life, because it is HIS life.
Hi...This is a critical situation in your life and you are facing a typical approach-avoidance conflict. You want to support your son, but do not want your son and your family to suffer from the complexities of an interfaith marriage. You first need to figure out the core reason of your displeasure.
1. Is it the concern of complexities that will arise within the couple or within your family or the society that you live in?
2. Are you scared that someone might harm your son or your family because of it or you are more concerned about the outcome of this marriage?
3. Are you afraid that your son might leave you or hate you if you don't support him now or you are concerned that he might end up spoiling his marital life by choosing a partner from a different faith?
4. What is the response from girl's parents side? Are they against it or okay with it or they are aggressively against it?
These are all very common, but very relevant questions that need to be answered in a therapeutic setting before any advice can be given to you. There is no right or wrong response in such situations. You have to practically figure out the consequences of your actions and how they are going to impact your son and your family's future. Anyway be mindful that if they are adults, they have a legal right to choose their partner. And you as parents, have a legal right to be part of this decision or stay away from it completely.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Guidance and Parent Counselling is required.
If couple is willing they may seek pre-marital counseling.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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