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Confusion in Relationship
Hi,
I have been in a relationship for the last 1.5 years and currently I am confused about whether to pursue it more or end it. Things have happened in the past, there are some patterns I have observed in him which make me feel he is not the person I want. He is narcissistic I feel and think about himself more than others. There are stuffs that he has done and said that I keep remembering no matter how much I try to forget them. This has led to bitterness. It's not like I have not made mistakes, I also have and he has forgiven me for them. He is also trying to improve, I can see his efforts but because of all those things that have happened before, I am not able to focus on improvements. But the thing is i don't want to end it. Maybe because of attachment. I also think that maybe in the future things will improve and I will start to accept things more. I am not sure what to do.
Answers (14)
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You should start with counseling sessions immediately to clear your confusion regarding relationship issues.
You need an expert counseling psychologist asap.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
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What you’re experiencing is emotionally complex—and very human. You’re caught between past pain and present hope. The fact that he is trying to improve, yet you still feel stuck, shows that the emotional wounds haven’t truly healed. Attachment can cloud clarity, especially when the mind holds on to memories that still sting.
Here’s what might help:
• Journal your “emotional facts”—what he did, how you felt, and what’s changed. Patterns become clearer in writing.
• Ask yourself: If nothing changed from today onward, would I be content five years later?
• Therapy can guide you to separate guilt from intuition, and hope from self-sacrifice.
It’s okay to not have a clear answer now. You’re allowed to take space and evaluate without pressure.
Take therapy, and you can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Thats all i can guide you here. You can reach out to me personally
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What you're experiencing is something many people go through in relationshipsâconflict between emotional attachment and clarity about what's right for you. Itâs completely normal to feel confused, especially when past hurts and current efforts to improve are both present at the same time.
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âï¸ Journaling your thoughts without judgment âï¸ Talking to a neutral, professional listener to gain clarity âï¸ Giving yourself permission to not rush into a decision âï¸ Focusing on your emotional healthâeven within the relationship Clarity often comes when you begin understanding yourself, your values, and what you need to feel emotionally safe. Whatever you decide, itâs okay to take your time.
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Here are a few things to reflect on: ð¹ Bitterness and unresolved hurt: When past events continue to replay in your mind, it usually means those emotions haven't had space to be fully processed. Itâs important to explore and understand those feelings before deciding to move forward or let go. ð¹ Attachment vs. compatibility: Feeling attached doesn't always mean the relationship is right for you long-term. It can be helpful to gently ask yourself: âAm I staying because Iâm hopeful for change, or because Iâm afraid to leave?â ð¹ Observe the patterns: If youâve identified certain behavioral patterns in your partner (like self-centeredness), think about whether they are deal-breakers or things you can truly accept in the long run. People can change, but only if the change feels genuine and consistentânot just reactive. ð¹ Your own needs: Take some time to identify what you need in a relationshipânot just what you hope might improve. Are those needs currently being met?
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Hi,
Deciding whether to continue or end a relationship can be difficult, especially when feelings of attachment and hope for improvement are involved. Itâs important to reflect honestly on how his behavior and the patterns you've observed impact your well-being and happiness. While recognising his efforts to change is positive, consider whether the issues that cause you bitterness and mistrust are likely to be resolved or persist over time. It might be helpful to focus on your own emotional health and whether the relationship aligns with your values and needs. Sometimes, seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or a therapist can provide clarity and support during such uncertain times. Ultimately, prioritising your well-being and inner peace is essential, and making a decision that respects your feelings and boundaries is the healthiest choice in the long run.
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consult
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seek help
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Thank you for being so open. What you're going through is emotionally complex and very realâmany people in long-term relationships hit this kind of crossroads. Itâs clear youâre thinking deeply about your situation, and thatâs an important first step.
Letâs unpack this a little:
What You're Feeling Is Valid
Youâve observed traits in your partner (e.g., narcissism, self-centeredness) that make you feel unsure about staying.
Past experiences keep resurfacing, creating bitterness and emotional blockages, even though he's making efforts now.
You acknowledge your own mistakes and his willingness to forgive, which suggests there's mutual care.
At the same time, there's a strong emotional attachment that makes the idea of ending things painful.
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If You Stay... Consider asking: What would I need to see or feel in order to fully trust this again? Can we work on this together, maybe with a therapist or counselor? Am I staying because of love or fear?
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Hi
Take time
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emotionally focused therapy
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let's talk
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Hey,
First of all—sending you a big virtual
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You could set up a consultation with me if you feel like
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✨ What can help:
Talking to a psychologist or therapist can really help you get clarity. Not because something’s “wrong” with you—but because you deserve a space to unpack all of this without judgment. They can help you sort your thoughts, understand your patterns, and figure out what you truly want—on your terms.
You’re 20, and this is a part of life where you’re still learning what you need in relationships. Trust that voice inside you. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
Take your time. Heal. Grow. You’ve got this.
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Connect with psychologist to discuss in detail to resolve it.
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connect
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consult
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Hi, Consult a psychologist for professional help
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Reach out for sessions
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
What you dealing with the unresolved issues with the partner. The mistakes have not been discussed or resolved by you two. You have been trying to forgive his mistakes without giving the mistake a closure. Whenever there is a conflict, communicate your emotions and thoughts about the situation. This will give you a mental peace.
When it comes to - not breaking up with him, then, he has become a routine for you which you would not want to change. You may not be scared of losing him but scared of loneliness that you would feel after you leave him.
There are techniques to overcome this feeling of loneliness.
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Talk about your fears.
Happy to help.
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Ms. Garima Chauhan
Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
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Dr. Kavita Bhutani (PhD)
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Gurgaon
Go by your heart
People make mistakes
Efforts count
Resolve your own traumas also
Write down the patterns
Make emotional rituals
Seek couple therapy
Smile more
Sunshine
Create your couple goals and work towards them
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