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How to increase self esteem n confidence
I was in a toxic relationship with a man my age during my UG. He always made me feel dumb and stupid. Being constantly exposed to such negativity destroyed my self-esteem and confidence. I took a gap year to focus on myself after I broke up with him and I didn't know what to pursue further. My UG cgpa is 7.01, low, as I didn't focus on studies because of mental health issues. I have become 10× better now. I wrote competitive exams like Gate, CUET-PG etc., and qualified in 3/5 exams. I got into one of the TIFRs (Tata Institute of Fundamental Research) for Integrated M.Sc-PhD program. I had not prepared for the exam neither did I for the interview. So I think I'm pretty smart, for I have cleared these with very little preparation, considering how good the institute is. But I still cannot believe that I got selected. I've believed that I'm not smart/capable enough so much that I still think that it's a fluke and I've got in purely by luck(Not true ofc). What do I do?
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Hi,You have to have belief in your own capabilities.Consult a psychologist for professional help
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The words you repeatedly heard in that relationship seem to have affected your self-belief, even though your achievements clearly show your capability. Qualifying competitive exams and getting selected at TIFR is not luck , it reflects your hard work and potential. With counselling, you can work on rebuilding your self-esteem and overcoming these negative beliefs. You don’t have to carry the impact of that relationship forever.
Rajni Sharma
Psychological Counsellor | 22+ Years of Experience
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Hi, thanks for reaching out. Sometimes the relationship ends, but the person’s voice stays in our head. You were repeatedly made to feel “dumb”, so now even when reality gives you evidence that you’re capable, your brain says “fluke”. That’s not lack of intelligence, that’s damaged self-belief.
Start asking yourself: “If this was purely luck, how did I qualify 3 out of 5 exams?” Don’t wait to feel confident before accepting your achievements. Let the evidence challenge the old story.
Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
19 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect with psychologist to discuss inner conflict
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.