Is your child shy to move socially? Are you worried about your kid’s shyness and uneasiness?
Children with this kind of attitude often have low confidence and feel embarrassed to speak out. Some children will be reluctant to mingle with others and hesitate to make friends. Usually, children with their natural instinct make friends and gain social skills without any trouble. However, if a kid feels a little shy and is different outside the home, as a parent, you may have difficulty in encouraging your child to mingle with the outside world.
A shy child is anxious or inhibited in unfamiliar situations, especially when interacting with others. A shy child is most likely to be nervously constrained if they feel they are 'on the show', such as when meeting someone new or having to speak in front of others. It is important for parents to support their children and encourage brave social behavior.
Here are some parenting tips to help you help your child:
1. Never Label Your Kid
Labeling your child as “shy” in front of others can carry a negative connotation. If your child hears the word “shy” enough times, he/she may start to believe that his/her discomfort around people is a fixed trait, not a feeling he/she can learn to control.
2. Assess Your Child’s Shy Triggers
Observe your child in almost all situations and trace out the kinds of situations that make your kid feel shy. It can be while meeting someone new to him/her, joining a new school, or participating in celebrations. Once you identify the problem, it becomes much easier for you to approach your child in a non-confrontational way. Practice with your child and teach him/her how to tackle the situations that make him/her feel uncomfortable.
3. Introduce Your Child to New People and Situations Slowly
Shy kids often feel anxious in new environments and around new people. If you’re attending a social event, don’t expect your child to jump into action and chat with other children right away. If possible, arrive early so your child can get comfortable in that space and feel like other people are entering a space he/she already knows.
Another option is to have your child stand back at a comfortable distance near you, where he/she feels safe, and simply watch the event for a few minutes. Quietly observing will help your process things.
If arriving early or observing isn’t possible, discuss the event ahead of time with your child, talking about who will be there, what is likely to happen, how he/she might feel, and what she could say to start a conversation.
4. Praise Your Child When He/She Takes a Lead
Let your child admire what he/she did. Say something like, “Yesterday, I saw you talking to that new boy. I know that was hard for you, but I’m proud of what you did.”
5. Point Out When Your Child Ends up Enjoying Something He/She Was Earlier Afraid Of
Say, “You thought you were going to have a miserable time at the birthday party, but you ended up making some new friends. Yay!” With positive reinforcement like this, over time, your child is more likely to be able to self-regulate his/her feelings of nervousness.
6. Encourage Extra-curricular Activities That Interests Your Child
Children with their shyness often hesitate to participate in group activities due to their low confidence. As a parent, encourage your kid to join in group activities by taking the kid to clubs, parties, or parks where he/she can meet others who share similar interests. Encouraging the kid in group activities helps sharpen social skills and gain confidence.
7. Make Your Child Independent
Shyness in children often keeps them away from doing certain things or makes them dependent on others, especially moms to do the tasks. If your kid feels shy about asking something to a teacher or a relative, encourage the kid to do it on their own instead of you doing it for them.
This makes your child interact with people and talk to them. Although it will be inconvenient for him/her in the beginning, it will enhance confidence and develop the social skills that the kid needs as she grows.
8. Teach Your Child to Stand Up for Himself/Herself
Teach your child to say stop or no in a loud voice when another child tries to take their toy from them. If he/she’s being bullied or treated unfairly at school, encourage him/her to speak up to an adult or the teacher. It starts with teaching shy children that their voice is important.
9. Make Sure Your Child Feels Heard
Listen to your child, and ask questions. Many shy children struggle with feeling 'unheard' by others. Ask your child regularly how he/she feels when you take him/her to a gathering and try resolving your child’s conflict accordingly.
10. Let Your Child Have “Me Time”
Anything that pulls your child out of his/her inner world like going to school, socializing, or even navigating a new routine will drain him/her. Don’t be hurt or think your child doesn’t enjoy anything. Most likely, once he/she has learned, he/she’ll want to spend time with the outside world. Give it time :)
As much as parenting is a beautiful thing, it can be stressful and full of anxiety as well. If your child is very shy and these tips do not help in making your child socially active, talk to your paediatrician to see what more can be done and how you can help your child open up.
Disclaimer: This article is written by the Practitioner for informational and educational purposes only. The content presented on this page should not be considered as a substitute for medical expertise. Please "DO NOT SELF-MEDICATE" and seek professional help regarding any health conditions or concerns. Practo will not be responsible for any act or omission arising from the interpretation of the content present on this page.