Yes! You read it right. Counselling is not about giving advice. Then what is it? This is a great question. Clients come to me and are often frustrated because they are looking for answers and expect me to have one. They often come in for a session looking for an instant solution to all of their problems, and they may not get it right away. This is in fact the trickiest part of a therapeutic process. To set the expectations right. To make the clients understand that our job is NOT to give you solutions to all your problems. Then what exactly do we do? Why can’t we give you solutions to all of your problems? Simply because there are no fixed answers. Each person is different. Everybody comes in with different life experiences and issues. The solution that works for one may or may not work for the other.
As a counsellor, our goal is to help you to work on your thoughts. We are trained to understand human behaviour and the thoughts that are directing you to behave a certain way. We pair that with a reasonable amount of empathy and help the clients by meeting them half-way to solve their problems on their own. What counsellors can provide for you are support and information on coping mechanism. It is a safe and non judgemental environment to explore your innermost feelings and thoughts.
The sessions are a hundred and one percent dependent on what you tell the counsellor. That makes you the expert of your own problems. We will guide you and support you to explore your own mind. It takes time. Since we don’t have any fixed answers to your problems, it is going to be a convoluted process to understand what is stopping you from doing something to begin with. What are the thoughts that are pulling you down or not letting you behave a certain way.
A good counsellor will help you to be independent and trust yourself. Giving answers to all your problems will make you rely on the counsellor and that is the exact opposite of our goal. They will help you to get to a stage where you no longer need therapy to manage your life. Our goal is to empower you to make decisions and solve your problems on your own.
It can be frustrating but trust the process. It will be worth your time.