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Trust issues in our relationship
I and my partner are in a relationship for more than 9 years now and since last year it was a tough time for us .He was not giving me time due to his personal problems which I was unaware of I asked him about his behaviour several times but he used to ignore me and this continued for long I was devastated and hurt with his behaviour which lead me to talk to another person (man) to him I shared things because he was a stranger and we had a good bond honestly that time I was being selfish and just wanted to share my feelings with someone as I had no friends to share these things . But now my bf came to know about it and he started relating me to several boys after that he doubts all the time that I love someone else and I have been really frustrated now giving all the explanations to him ...he just don't trust me now because of this I'm not able to concentrate on my studies and I have become so aggressive... he's a good person but this trust issues is really killing me everyday.
Answers (10)
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Hello practo user
One of my expertise is relationship n marriage counselling.
Both of you need premarital counselling n this will help you in making a happy married life .
Google my name n book n session.
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Trust is one of major tenants of any healthy relationship.
When one partner doesn,t have trust in other , this can be a very challenging aspect to a relationship .
You must possess ability to be patient , determined and willing to provide consistent support to your partner , that you are in the relationship.
It is important to know that setbacks will happen and may hurt your partner just as much as it hurts you.
If you can take it slow and steady , you can build something solid.
Next Steps
seek support for yourself.
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Dear
Don't get panic, every thing will b fine...
It will take some time,
Handle every relation maturely....
May b he has some anger towards u, but dont try to show more anger...
In every relationship there are some issues but that are temporary, that are not permanent, this is the time when u have to handle it with LOVE , CARE, LOYALTY,
automatically u will get ur trust back...
We are here to help u
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Hi. Take time. Give him time to trust you again in life. Wait
Consult
Next Steps
relationship therapy
Health Tips
The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again." – Charles Dickens, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." – Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved
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You need counseling sessions to improve your perception and decision making skills.
You need an expert psychologist.
Next Steps
you can contact me through online appointment for further assistance
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We all have this small little walnut size gland near the base of our brains called the Amygdala. It plays a role in learning the things that have hurt us or that have caused us pain in life, and itâs job is to rush the chemicals through our bodies that put us into fight or flight mode.
The reason why I mention this is because this happens faster than our brain is able to process information. If you have been hurt because someone violated your trust in them, then you are going to automatically feel threatened whenever you find yourself in a similar situationâand you will begin responding in fight or flight mode.
Think of your Amygdala as being a smoke alarm in your house. It doesnât know the difference between an actual fire or when you burned your toast. When it goes off you donât automatically call 911, and evacuate the house. You investigate. You determine if there is a real danger or not, and then you silence the alarm.
You get rid of your trust issues the same way. Your Amygdala will be going off like a smoke alarm whenever you find yourself in situations that are similar to when you have been hurt in the past.
Your job is to acknowledge the alarm and to silence it. You do this with some self talk or inner dialogueâ¦
âThis feels exactly like the time when I got hurt and taken advantage of before, but this is different. These arenât the same people, and this isnât the same situation. Therefore Iâm going to choose to trust, and I will continue to trustâuntil I have a good reason to not trust anymore.â
This both satisfies your inner alarm, and it puts a speed bump in your responseâallowing your brain and your rationale to catch up to the urgent warnings of your Amygdala.
Next Steps
consult Psychiatrist/ Psychologist
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi ... needs Counseling to resolve underlying issue.u can get in touch with me at my contact number Seven eight nine two seven zero five four seven seven.session will be of fifty minutes. Cost is three hundred rupees. Get in touch for therapy
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Ms. Kanika Girdhar
Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Gurgaon
Trust is of paramount importance in a relationship. Work on your anger and ask him what is really bothering him. Maybe he is experiencing some emotions and is not able to express it. If you are both open you can go for relationship counseling.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Go for a Pre Marriage Counselling both of you to get a better understanding about each other..
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Ms. Mohana Priya G
Psychologist
8 yrs exp
Bangalore
Trust is the act of placing confidence in someone or something else. Trust is necessary for a relationship to thrive. Without it, fear rules.
For a loving relationship to flourish, several aspects need to function optimally. One of the most important aspects is trust. When there are trust issues in a relationship it can create judgment and fear. Over time, suspicions and doubts about the relationship may grow.
If you have trust issues in your relationship, there are usually two places this can emanate from.
One is from an experience you had in a previous relationship that prevents you from trusting.
The second is when something has happened in your current relationship that has stirred mistrust in this relationship.
If your trust issues stem from a previous relationship, it is important to remember that no two relationships are the same. You cannot hold your current partner responsible for something that occurred in the past and something they had nothing to do with.
If your trust issues are due to your current partner creating mistrust in your relationship, this should be addressed head-on. You need to determine if you desire to move past the betrayal and work on your relationship.
If you both desire to work through things, it is worth a shot. If one or both of you is not interested in repairing the relationship, then there is not much you can do with that
Next Steps
Relationship counseling is needed. Contact me for counseling and further assistance.
Health Tips
1) Accept the risk that comes with learning to trust again.
None of us are perfect—we let people down. Therefore, placing your trust in someone is undeniably going to lead to being let down at some point or another. But that doesn’t mean your relationship with that person is or should be over. It’s about setting and communicating the right expectations as well as boundaries.
2) Learn how trust works.
Some people trust people until they have a reason not to—others don’t trust people until that trust is earned. It’s up to you if and when you choose to trust someone—trust doesn’t have to be given out freely; it’s perfectly okay to wait for people to earn it before deciding you can rely on them. Especially if you’re recovering from past betrayal.
3) Take emotional risks.
At some point, you’ve got to just jump in head-first—allow yourself to be vulnerable and risk being let down in order to create healthy relationships again. Choose to trust (whether it’s at the beginning of a relationship or after they’ve earned your trust).
4) Face your fears and other negative feelings built around trust.
Remember, trust issues often stem from betrayal in one’s past. If you aren’t sure why you have trust issues, do some soul-searching. Think about any past experiences that may have caused your trust issues. It’s crucial that you admit to yourself why you’re scared and what you’re scared of, so you can attempt to move on. If you need help doing this, consider working with a counselor.
5) Try and trust again.
If you fail and resort back to distrusting tendencies, try again. Trust again. Keep putting yourself out there.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.