Emotional Intimacy is an important aspect of an interpersonal relationship and focuses on the level of the emotional bond that the couple shares. For a marriage to work emotional intimacy is as important as sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy can instil positive feelings and can lead to better relations. On the other hand, a lack of emotional intimacy can lead to a feeling of loneliness and emptiness in either of the partner and tend to distance themselves from each other.

Lack of Self-Awareness 

Every partner needs to identify and understand their own needs which could range from the need to be heard to the need of being touched. Many times we are not able to understand that what we desire from oneself which can make it difficult to understand the needs of the partner too.

Lack of expression 

These problems arise due to communication problems. We are in many situations not able to understand how and when should be put across our expectations and desires. It is important to understand that “How”, “When”, Where” and “How much” to put across.


Sharing about things that you fear is also essential. Many times the couple is not able to share openly because the partner doesn’t want to lose individuality and also in many cases the partner feels that the spouse won’t be able to understand the feelings. In a relationship, the partner tends to go through two types of fear. First, to lose their own individuality and the other one is to lose their partner. Rather than staying in the grey area, it is important to move forward and share such feelings with one another.


Stress can cause fatigue and leave people tired. It leaves the person drained with no strength to sit and communicate. Under the stressful situation, people tend to like to have their own space, in order to clear mind. This soon becomes a vicious circle, where rather than communicating about the problem, partners take an easy road of keeping things to themselves.


Trust is very important that binds two people together. It is important to trust each other and share every minute detail. Many times people are in dilemma regarding whether to share their heart out or not, this is mainly due to the fact partner feels that the spouse doesn’t have the intention to understand or lacks the potential to do so.


Too many arguments can have a negative effect on marriage. When the disagreement issues are on the rise, people tend to feel that their partner is not able to understand and support their viewpoint. As a result, the couple might feel that they are incompatible with each other and does not feel necessary to even share their life as there is no agreement n trust.

Low Self-Esteem 

”Many times low self-esteem can influence emotional intimacy. It is common not only for men but also for women to have low-esteem. It can take a toll on a person’s relationship and can create certain inhibitions that they find difficult to resolve. When the person is criticized by their partner for petty things this can create a feeling of low self-confidence. With time this turns into a vicious cycle where the partner doesn’t connect spouse with a fact of being disapproved again.


Feelings of resentment can be due to unresolved issues in your relationship. It can make them pull away and withdraw affection and make them emotionally distant. If there aren’t any evident issues that you can think of, then the fact that your partner may feel unacknowledged may lead to major trouble.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy can be due to a variety of reasons rather than forming a strong conclusion about the same, discussing with your partner can help to reach a solution. Listening can actually accelerate communication and also helps your spouse to open up. It is good to know that all of these factors can be repaired to restore the relationship back to being emotionally satisfying. It is very essential to open up and disclose your deepest thoughts and emotions so that you constantly learn about yourself and partner so that the connection becomes stronger.

When a couple is having an emotional discord in their relationship/marriage, seeking help from relationship expert or a professional marriage counsellor is very essential. Lack of emotional intimacy can instil feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, infidelity, blame game and so on. Thus, seeking help from a Marriage counsellor can help you solve these issues.