I am really glad about the courage that so many people took to speak about the magnitude of this problem. My heart goes out to each one of those victims who has been through this ordeal. But, what just happened through spreading awareness is just step 1. There is a lot more that needs to be done to actually phase out this problem. Shaming and naming is definitely not the only thing. We have to realize that perpetrators are in equal need of healing as do the victims. No one is born bad-natured and all of these actions are learned behaviors owing to their surroundings and circumstances. Quoting Mahatma Gandhi here:

Psychologist Karthik talks about healing from sexual harassment

I will be really glad if you have the patience to go through the whole article, but, being realistic about the time-poor world, I am breaking it down to three sections. So, you can scroll down to read the section that most appeals to you.

The three sections are: 

Victims: Anyone who has been put through sexual harassment or those who haven't yet faced it but feel vulnerable in their situations

Perpetrators: Anyone who has already committed the offence and is guilty or those who have the potential tendency within them to act out (they are already acting out in their mind)

Care-takers: One who is in-charge of bringing up children or taking care of teenagers (generally parents). Could even be a guardian, friend or a mentor of an adult individual. Last but not the least, you could be your own care-taker. (This section is all about attitude training)

Psychologist Karthik talks about healing from sexual harassment

Victims:

Sexual harassment has become so commonplace that no area of life is left behind including, but not limited to, work, school, home, commute and while travelling. Amidst such constant threatening situations, it only makes sense why individuals these days are highly insecure and have deep trust issues. If you are one such victim, here are a few things you could do to heal yourself:

  1. Remember that it is not your mistake and you don't have to feel impure, guilty or ashamed about it.
  2. Know your limits. For some, occasional sexual jokes are fine. For others, any kind of flirtation is off limits. So, it is important to know your limits and communicate to the people around, when you feel uncomfortable. The other side may not know your limits until you communicate. 
  3. If they still persist, muster the courage to pull off a whistle-blower on the offender. Don't let them get away irrespective of their position or power. 
  4. If you plan to report, gather solid evidence from other potential sufferers. Their acknowledgment will add to the gravity of your claim.
  5. Learn to let it go. While still taking necessary action against the act and the perpetrator, learn to stop holding onto those emotions and the subsequent pain.
  6. If there is heavy emotional load, consider sharing your pain with a trusted acquaintance or a counsellor if need be. Sharing helps relieve some of that load.
  7. Avoid putting each upcoming experience of your life through the lens of this horrendous experience. Doing so could affect the relationship you share with the world around you (Ex: Trust issues, anxiety etc.)
  8. Be proud of yourself for surviving through it. Put a smile on that beautiful face of yours and look forward to a better life and people. :)

Perpetrators:

I know that you are feeling the pain of doing something so horrible. Let's face it. You are also deeply insecure that the truth may come out and tarnish your image. Should that happen, things might never be the same for you ever again. When you find yourself in such situations, what should you do?

  1. Stop it NOW: If someone is in your grip(esp. children), it is time to stop it NOW. Stay far away from them or you will ruin them and ruin yourself more. Seek counselling to correct your sexually overt and compulsive behavior. It most likely stems from some deep psychological issues/blocks and attitudes that you have in your life.
  2. Acknowledge and apologize: Yes. As tough as it might be, just face it. Walk up to that person and apologize. You might receive forgiveness or a load of backlash and rage from the other-side. Be prepared and still face it. (In the case of kids, face their parents)
  3. Leave that environment: If possible, leave that environment and move on to alternate job locations so that you can leave this story behind.
  4. Prison on cards?: Depending on what you did and whether you are lucky enough to receive forgiveness from victims, prison might be on cards for you. Prepare for such possibility. Don't try escaping the law, but have good legal advice by your side.
  5. Accept yourself: Toughest part. Even more tougher for you because most probably all your kith and kin will abandon you.
  6. Seek counselling: If you are unable to handle all the emotional trauma, it is a good idea to seek counselling to correct your behaviors and face/accept your consequences.
Psychologist Karthik talks about healing from sexual harassment

Care-takers:

You have the most important job in avoiding these mishaps in the future. This is all about attitude training so that we can raise good citizens. One must remember that attitudes shape outlooks and outlooks shape actions. So, sexual abuse takes birth in attitudes and life-styles and then takes physical form over time.

  1. Sex Education: Please get this thing right. There is appropriate sex education at every stage from childhood (begins with education on what they should do if someone touches them inappropriately). Let home be the source of their learning instead of leaving them to fend for themselves through harmful sources of information which could teach them potentially dangerous ideas.
  2. Putting back on track: If individuals tend to objectify women and make plans to tease or act in an unacceptable manner, it is not cool to joke around and cheer them. Have the courage to stand out and stand for what is right.
  3. Pornography vs intimacy:  Don't lash out at kids(esp. teenagers) when you find them watching porn. Instead educate them on how pornography will never satisfy them and teach them the value of intimacy over pornography. Keep a watch on them. (Note: Intimacy is not about sex. You can seek intimacy in any relationship.)
  4. Self-Control: Having control over one's emotions is one of the essential traits to allow clarity in thinking and thoughtful action. This must be taught right from young age. (If you lack it yourself, consider family counselling and trust a skilled counsellor to help your family with this!)
  5. Life skills training: One of the most neglected areas of child development is life-skills training. We are excited about teaching them Math and Sciences but rarely invest in teaching them how to live. Priorities?
  6. Are you an addict? Do you spend a lot of time fantasizing about sex or sexual ideas of any kind? Do you watch porn or indulge in self-pleasure excessively? If yes, you need to see a counsellor to get yourself rid of this epidemic. It will save you from potential disasters of indulging in sex-offence and also free-up a lot of your time for productive activities.

These are the few important things that I think will help move us from present state of affairs towards a better world. I would love to receive your comments, feedback and other important points that you think I missed.

Wishing all of us luck on creating that utopian society, where everyone gets the respect they deserve as human beings and not treated like fantasy objects and in which each of us is in perfect control of ourselves. :)