We are born and raised in a society that has been heavily conditioned by norms which are passed on from generation to generation. The do’s and don’ts, the good and bad, the right and wrong. Well, the list is endless.
When a couple gets into wedlock (love or arranged), their mental conditioning, which is a result of their upbringing, plays a vital role in their relationship, and eventually affects their role as parents. The father-to-be has his own set of belief systems, his own personality, his own perceptions, his own strengths and weaknesses, and above all, his own distinct traits absorbed straight from the DNA of his parents. The mother-to-be has her own of all those characteristics mentioned above.
Therefore, it is very important that every couple understands the gap that prevails between them as individuals, and the presence of a marked difference in their personalities, resulting from the traits their respective parents who raised them and also due to the traits of their lineage. That’s why acceptance should be born before the child. 'The wedding is over. Quick, let’s have a child.' The couple is driven by a parental urge. If not, their families start pressurizing them. Their friends and neighbours start dropping hints.
Today, parental issues arise because couples become parents before they are psychologically mature to give birth to a child. And only acceptance can give birth to maturity:
- Acceptance of the varied individual characteristics between the father-to-be and the mother-to-be.
- Acceptance of their differences in upbringing.
- Acceptance of each other’s families and friends.
- Acceptance of one another’s aspirations and goals.
- Acceptance of their religious beliefs.
- Acceptance of their social standing.
- And above all, acceptance of their differences, which will lay a strong foundation for a happy marital life.
In a nutshell, acceptance of every single aspect that is going to deeply influence the holistic well being of their child.
Understanding the mounting Neuro-Scientific evidence about the nature and importance of early brain development enables both parents and those who work with their child to know what the child needs most in order to lead a happy life.
Nurturing, responsive, reliable and trusting relationships. Regular, predictable and consistent routines. Interactive language experiences. A physically and an emotionally safe and conducive environment. And opportunities to explore and to learn through experimentation. This is truly the secret of successful parenting. But by no means is it easy. It requires an individualistic approach, a flexible attitude, an evolving mentality and an elevated state of mind that is open to unlearning and conditioning.
Indeed a colossal effort by both the parents-to-be. Now, don’t you agree that parenting is no kid stuff