I know all the medical students are constantly inundated with their education as
in undergraduation, postgraduation, setting up of private practice, some with
superspecialisation and all that... but at some point all of us still need to
consider the non-medical aspects of our futures as well, where MARRIAGE being
an important item on the “to do list” for many.... Its always interesting to
note how many first year and final year medical students (both at UG and PG
colleges) are in a serious relationship (if not already married) with one of
their classmates.... It is the usual talk of any campus as BEING AVAILABLE is
only issue of hot discussion apart from academics..
Lets move more closer to the cause for an in-situ relationship between medicos.... I
could only speculate, but it seems that constant exposure to each other is a
pivotal driving force in forming these relationships.....
On specific interrogation, i got some of the following amazing reasons or excuses to
be with each other in my old medical college campus that i had selected as a
cohort for this study:-
Same classs, Same batch for practicals and clinics, belongs to my native place, knew
each other prior, we study together, have meals together, go to the theatre for
the same movie most probably in the same tumtum also, as studious as me, likes
only window shopping, we both like chaat items etc etc etc.... I am sure all would be
wondering who are those idiots who gave all these statements, but thats not
important as the truth of the content is... and its not totally false also...
I never knew these would be the reasons for the togetherness in any couples...but
thats the bottomline.. its about company.. time spent with each other..
Between those 8 am to 5pm lectures, sensational clinics in late wee hours, juice centre
or canteen visits, intermediate case taking tasks in wards, gyms or dance classes or singing classes
in the evening, shadowing new hot juniors, deep researches about whos who, studying till wee hours
and worrying about forthcoming exams; it’s not just hard but almost impossible to go out and meet people
living in the other part of the world.
Thus lack of options becomes apparent and some resort to dating a classmate or a junior mate. All this “togetherness” gives
opportunities to get to know each other on a deeper level beyond the medical world. Yet pursuing this kind of relationship is very less about true love and more about unidentified compromises and thorough lack of options.
Dr. Ravi, a leading oncosurgeon of Pune who had totally demoralised me to take up medical career told me once that “Whenever i came home every weekend during my residency at Tata Memorial Hospital, my daughter would address my arrival to her friends as, ”MY SUNDAY DADDY” is back home, today i can’t come to play with you all.....
Would the children see only cretch and day-care centres more than their own homes?
How many times should they accept the parents missing their PT meetings, annual fests etc because of “having to
go for an emergency?” Personally, I’ve flipped back and forth on my own views several times....
At times, I feel like it’d be nice to have a spouse who actually understands what
I’m ranting about rather than blindly smiling and nodding around due to unknown
topics of medical interest.. Why wouldn’t one like to share common medical
issues, co-professional problems and seek solutions at a comfortable level with
the spouse? A similar professional spouse will make medical work environment
and family home environment equally intermingled yet separate. Only a medico
spouse can better understand you getting a call and going hastily for an
emergency during your anniversary dinner or the kid’s birthday party. Medico
couples already have common interests to talk and share about and if the
chemistry extends far beyond their demanding field, there’s a cherry on the pie...
Generally the male doctors tend to have non-medico housewives who would take care of
children and support their husbands for their careers to bloom up... Contrarily
about 50 percent of female doctors have always married medicos. As per Dr.
Manisha Ghanekar, a renowned physician, “For a woman married to a medico or a
non-medico doesn’t change her responsibilities at all. She has to be the
ultimate balancer in both cases. So she doesn’t mind marrying anyone, a medico
or a non-medico guy.
Some fantastic reasons as to why should one have
a medico spouse....
- Good luxury through good earning.
- Well trained patient listeners.
- Free medical consultation at your doorstep with free medical sample distributor (for
use and charity both)
- No WHY YOU syndrome related to professional and personal or household commitments.
- They can always give the other spouse a chance of missing them because of always
being occupied at work.
- Can stay up all night any time like an emergency call.
- Firm individuals as they are trained in breaking even the worst of news the best calm way.
As far as those medical students/residents/physicians who have found their love in someone of their
same career, I wholeheartedly wish loads of togetherness and love for them all
and wish the utmost success in their respective relationships and careers.
But I still feel it’s not about the profession always. The most important thing in a relationship is understanding
& loving each other.. Everything else is just easy later.. No matter where
the spouse is from or is the spouse a medico or not..
My dear medicos,
What do you think about medico
marrying a medico???