“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”– Dean Smith
It’s morning hours in Kurukshetra. The war is about to begin. And our hero "Arjuna" is in tears. He is trembling with the dry throat thinking “how can I get into a war with my loved ones. It is my uncles and cousins. It is my teachers and friends that are on the battlefield opposite me. I can’t do this Krishna. ” Krishna like a life coach knows that what's going on behind these emotions. Every inauthentic being avoids responsibility. So let’s look at what made Arjuna responsible once and for all.
Arjuna said: My dear Kṛishna, seeing my friends and relatives present before me in such a fighting spirit, the limbs of my body quivering and my mouth drying up.
Aise ran main bloke shok vegh main Arjun,baith Gaya hatash rath main rakh kar teer dhanushya! (Adhyaay 1 Shloka 47)
Krishna makes a point to use cognitive therapy and some restructuring to get Arjuna back on his feet. Behind every behaviour, there is an unaddressed emotion. Let's look at the unaddressed emotion behind responsibility.
1) Reducing Anxiety.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”– William James
What body sensations Arjuna felt may be real. Krishna shifts focus of Arjuna from bodily sensations to sources s of these sensations. That’s thoughts. He is predicting future that it is going to be devastating. Yes, it is going to be difficult. Every war is. Like every exam is uncertain in schools and colleges. We don’t know the question papers. Like every day in office is. Like becoming a parent. We know what we have to sacrifice for raising a child. Don’t we? We do know, but we don't want to confront. Krishna tells Arjuna how to refocus from bodily sensations to thought management. Next time you feel such tremors or feelings refocus your thoughts.
2) Underestimating the coping strategies and exaggerating the threat.
“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman
Like Arjuna, we tend to blow up the threats that are uncertain. Also, forget the skills we have to deal with these situations. Krishna here makes a point to boost his morale by telling him who he is, what his skills are and how the world relates to him. Making a list of skills you can help you cope this situation. To help you gauge the parameters of what could go wrong. If you are still looking for a predictable future Richard Feynman has some advice. In his 1961 lectures to Caltech freshmen, made this declaration:“Yes! Physics has given up. We do not know how to predict what would happen in a given circumstance, and we believe now that it is impossible — that the only thing that can be predicted is the probability of different events. “(Feynman, Leighton, & Sands, 1995, p. 135)What Feynman states that events are unpredictable with human capabilities. So predict the probability and be ready to deal with it.
3) Put reality in your face.
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” ― Philip K. Dick
Don’t act as if you didn’t know what was in the battle Field. When we take any new initiative or job or business, we know the ups and down. But the moment a first ramp down in the way, comes we tend to ask “ Am I doing it right did I take a right decision?” counter question “Didn’t you knew this is going to come?” Let the rubber meet the road enjoy the fiction. Learn to ride on a new road to acceptance every time.
4) Shifting focus to purpose from current problem.
“What you stay focused on will grow.” ― Roy T. Bennett
Like Arjuna, we tend to defocus from the purpose and glorify the problem. Yes, there is a problem to deal with. But research shows that dealing with a problem becomes easier if we know why we are doing it. That is why people who take engineering for fulfilling a dream of parents find it hard. May never reach the final semester. Find out a purpose sometimes it can be even survived. Stick to it. See how things can be smoother once you know that "why". The key to focus is not to forget the "Why"
5) Knowing what responsibility is.
"The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice" -Doug Larson.
Responsibility feels like blame in everyday life. Responsibility is the ability to respond, it is not a blame. Like we usually use it. It is a charm that makes you enchanting. Being responsible for the exam means how you respond to an exam. Responsible for results mean how you choose to respond in the best possible way after you get the result. You have the freedom to choose between every stimulus and response. The space of these choices will get bigger with time & can be as bigger as you want. Life Coaching today is easier to get and accessible. Make sure you get evidence-based life coaching.