SELF LOVE OR SELF INSECURITY?
Till the age of roughly two, life keeps flowing unhindered, with fullness, spontaneity, and with no complicity
But then this idea of self or "I " is formed, followed by an obsessive, tiring, distressful circular journey around the "I"
Insecurity and desperation to prove the existence of a non-existent entity called "I"
Pathological need for significance, importance to feel that "I"
Starting with early life, getting high grades for want of the self to be acknowledged, desire for likeability by effort to make friends, evaluating self-worth with the quantity of friends, all that to "feel that I"
This crazy spiral momentum progresses into desperate efforts to dispel the insecurity of not being attractive,
not being wanted. The compulsive toil to look better physically/ intellectually/emotionally/ spiritually/ kickstarts never to end! Just to " feel this I"
Ambition of multiplying assets, increasing turnovers, chasing important profiles, and bigger cars. All this to feel a bigger I"
The Gurus and the corporates are trying hard to spread across!
The intelligence of the intelligentsia is being socially showcased
The debater is trying to win debates
The spiritual seeker on his path to be someone special!
The philanthropist is in urgent need to help more and more.
The family man and his family deeds.
The musician wanting the audience to grow,
The Instagrammer feeling elated at a million views,
The lover craving to hear [I love you] from the other!
,The wife sacrificing to be " a good wife"
'Now one has become old, now the insecurity is manifold!
In parks and community spaces, one desperately dishes out one's wisdom and knowledge to finally feel that you are there as one's social significance and worth are at peril.
It is a more desperate effort to feel "this I"
The strife-ridden spiral journey is about to culminate
All the life spent by the fictitious self, in this need to validate. Even one's Zen approach to be a " no self"is nothing but a gimmick to feel oneself. The rustling tree leaves and the energy-filled beehives would laugh at the desperate man disconnected from life, still trying to feel himself!