Think about your first day in the high school or college. How was your experience? Were you at ease on that very day? What did you do to be at ease?
Probably, you found another person who was most like you and bonded with him/her & the world around changed..! You started enjoying being yourself in the high school.
Isn’t it amazing, what company of similar people does to us?
Is Similarity an Important Factor in a Relationship..??
In most of our relations, we have the tendency to sway towards the alike. Though there is a belief that opposites attract, if you look back at your life, it is hardly true. We are inclined towards those who are either like us or the ones who are a lot like our desired self. Why so..??
We are the way we are, possibly because of three ways in which we experience ourselves. In anyone a particular type of experiencing might dominate .
Firstly, we could be controlled by our habits where in we are comfortable as long as our habits keep leading us, irrespective of it's effectiveness. We could come across to society as rigid because we avoid changes. This way of experiencing could be found in habitual type. Secondly, one might wish to change however limited by the exposure type & level, situations faced or opportunities encountered. We keep striving in many ways to be better hence creating the wannabe type and finally one could be totally comfortable in his/her shoes hence casual & comfortable in most places/situations, the rock star type.
In first case we shall be compelled to find someone similar, in second case we crave for someone who is like us in a some way however seems better and in third case we enjoy the company of a similar though we can share space with anyone. In every case similarity is a major factor in the bonding process.
There are many relations in our life which choose us rather than us choosing them. These could be our parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, colleagues, children and in some cases even spouse and so on. Can we ensure that we are happy in these relations and even make them fulfilling..??
How to make any Relation Work..??
We are not as we simple as we present. There are several intricacies associated with us. Out of all those intricacies ,there could be one small thread which is common between two people.
Consider one of your relations you can barely converse with. Explore for those common threads. I am sure, there will be more than one similarities if you are honest in your exploration. Now you have a foundation of similarities to begin with. Start your conversations from this thread and try to identify the category person belongs to, while in comparison to you. Is it the first habitual category? The second exploration category or the third, I am the rock star category. If he is in first category, he will eventually be habituated to your ways if you are truly with him for a few days. If she is in second category she already is on her way to model you. If he is in third category, well, here you have a person from whom you can learn or unlearn one or 2 things. You will be amazed to find out how much more you would have explored this person in the process and bonded.
Who knows..?? You might even start to like the person during the parade…!!
From Similarities towards the whole of the person...
Think about your best friend. She might share many similarities with you, however she is unique and might have few qualities, you do not approve of however have accepted because you already like her. You have begun from similarities & embraced whole of her eventually.
There is not a single person who is a replica of another however we could be similar in many ways. Relations are about starting from the similarities, expanding and eventually embracing the differences. Have you been successfully identifying the similarities & building great relationships..??