Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion when expressed in moderation. However, when it gets out of control, it turns destructive and can lead to problems at work, in your personal relationships, and affect the overall quality of your life.
The aim of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.
You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Why Are You Angrier Than Others?
If you are easily angered, it can be the result of frustration, low tolerance, annoyance, etc. You cannot take things in your stride and are particularly infuriated if the situation seems unjust somehow, such as being corrected for small petty mistakes.
Sometimes only small triggers can incite anger in us. Some of the common triggers can be when you:
Have personal issues, like relationship problems, family problems, or profession-related issues.
Remember any past stressful experience like an accident, or a traumatic experience.
Are getting threatened by anyone, it manifests as anger towards that individual.
Feel frustrated and powerless (intimidated) in front of others.
Feel that the other individual is not respecting your feelings and emotions.
Causes of Anger
Genetic or physiological reasons (Hereditary). There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered and it can run in the family. In such individuals, these signs are present from a very early age.
Sociocultural Pressure. Anger is often regarded as a negative emotion and we all are taught that it's acceptable to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Family Background. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Past Experiences. If you have experienced abuse, trauma, or bullying in the past (as a child or presented as an adult) and were not able to express your anger at that moment. It means that the anger you are feeling presently is a reflection of the events you have gone through in your past.
Tips for Anger Management
1. Think before you speak. It is easy to say something in the heat of the moment and regret it later. You should always take a moment to collect your thoughts before getting angry to get a clear picture of the situation.
2. Express your disagreement once you are calm. When you're thinking clearly, expressing your disagreement in an assertive and gentle way becomes easier. State your concerns only if necessary, clearly and directly, without hurting or trying to control them.
3. Stay physically active. Working out can help in reducing stress, thus, leading to reduced anger. If you feel frustrated and your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or a run. Indulging yourself in any of your favourite physical activities is also helpful.
4. Take a break. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better.
5. Brainstorm for solutions. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Learn to let go. Do not hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.
7. Humor up. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humour to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go.
8. Practice relaxation. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy."
9. Write down your thoughts. You can write what you can not say. Jot down what you’re feeling and how you want to respond. Processing your anger through writing can help you calm down and reassess the events leading up to your feelings.
10. Seek help whenever needed without hesitation. When you feel that you are unable to manage your emotions, seek help. Support from friends and family can go long way and can help in keeping your mind calm.
Anger is a normal emotion but if your anger seems out of control or is impacting your relationships, you may have anger issues.
A mental health professional can help you work through your anger and identify any underlying mental health conditions that may be a contributing factor.
With anger management and other treatments, you can get your anger under control.
Disclaimer: This article is written by the Practitioner for informational and educational purposes only. The content presented on this page should not be considered as a substitute for medical expertise. Please "DO NOT SELF-MEDICATE" and seek professional help regarding any health conditions or concerns. Practo will not be responsible for any act or omission arising from the interpretation of the content present on this page.