We often attribute our tendency to procrastinate to laziness, sloppiness or the belief that we are born losers. Sounds familiar?
Let's see who the real culprit is.
Physiologically we are wired in such a way that there are four things that can potentially unsettle us the most :
Uncertainty
Attention
Struggle
Change
We avoid sitting on the first bench.
We prefer to read and revise only those subjects in which we score the maximum marks.
We don't apply for a position because we may not stand a chance or we might and that's terrifying.
We don't raise our hands and speak up because having the spotlight on us makes us jittery.
We stay engaged in those ventures that have been rewarding and have shown us in good light in the past but may be redundant today.
Our anxiety about the future is so consuming that we barely do justice to what we are engaged with at the moment.
Why do we prefer to do certain things over and over again even though they don't serve our highest good ?. There is comfort in familiarity. It is predictable and hence appealing even though some of those actions make us suffer every time we do it. This struggle is less compared to the struggle we imagine we might have to undergo if we choose to do something different, something new. The reason is more physiological than psychological.
Imagine yourself trying to do something you have been putting off for ages.
It might be addressing or facing a certain anxiety or fear, or making a tough choice or decision.
Observe the thoughts that typically come to you at this point - thoughts of shame, self-hate, anger, disappointment at letting yourself down over and over again; thoughts that tell you failure is guaranteed.
How do we usually respond to this? ' I can either do this or I can binge watch that series on the net or eat something nice ' - choosing a task that involves less struggle. I clean my cupboard again instead of making that phone call. I wallow in self-pity instead of applying for the job.
We cope with the guilt that results by coming up with a story or justification - " I'll figure it out later " and the classic, ' I'll Start Tomorrow '.
Now we know where that's coming from.
The good news is life has a conveyor belt philosophy. Just like your baggage remains on the belt unless you claim it, no matter how many times you try to run away from your choices or pretend not to notice them, life is relentless in presenting them to you . Everyday you are presented with choices. Knowing that fear and self-doubt are part and parcel of this journey, you can choose to sign-up for that choice, look at fear in the face and say, ' Yes, Thank You ' and do it anyway.
The 'happily ever after' begins on the other side of fear.
Yes,life is ruthless and agonizing because it keeps throwing these hardships your way. But would you be here today if those struggles hadn't come along in the past and challenged you to your very core? And you had no choice but to raise your game and give it your best shot?
Remember, ' If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. '