WHAT MAN / WOMAN WANTS?
“The ignorance of women physiology which prevails among most men is boundless and incredible’’
Camille Mauculair
“Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man cans give to woman”
Debra Messing
An individual lives as a man or as a woman. It is difficult for a man to understand the sexuality of women and vice versa. A man feels that her sexual pleasure is as his. In reality is a lot of difference between the two. Her anatomy hormones and conditioning are responsible for the difference. Till recent times (1976)women never talked about their sexual pleasure. Therefore myths continued to exist.
What Man feels?
“A woman has ten times sex desire than that of a man’’
“To satisfy her,he should have frequent sex with her’’
“She needs a long duration of sex for her sexual satisfaction’’
“If not fully satisfied, she may seek extra marital relationship.’’
“She gets orgasm in her vagina by friction of penis’’
“Man needs to have a thick and long penis for her satisfaction”
“The first experience of sex is very sensational for both.”
“Women is dependent upon man or her orgasm”
“During masturbation the woman puts a long object in her vagina”
“Sex with a virgin woman gives extra a sexual pleasure.”
The facts are:
In man there is no homologous organ like vagina. The biggest misconception is that the women gets erotic vagina. If man were to have vagina, its opening would be 1 inch in front of the anus on the median scrotal raphe. Though the touch sensation is present, it is not as erotic as the touch of glands. This touch can be felt up to one inch deep in the vagina. Beyond that the vagina is insensitive, since it is developed from Endoderm. A woman does not put any long object in her vagina. During masturbating, she stimulates her clitoris and inner side of labia minora.
In man the organ of pleasure and of intercourse is one and the same i.e. penis. In woman, the organ of pleasure is clitoris and the organ of intercourse is vagina. She can have erotic pleasure by stimulating clitoris and without indulging in intercourse. During the intercourse the penis does not touch the clitoris and therefore she does not get the orgasm by vaginal stimulation. A woman, unlike man , self – sufficient for erotic pleasure. Secondly she is devoid of testosterone, a sex-desire stimulating hormone. The hormones present in her are for menstruation, pregnancy, delivery and lactation. For these reasons, woman does not seek sexual pleasure from extra-marital relationship.
Nymphomaniacs, Gigolos and male sex workers are rare to find. A virgin woman is ignorant and inexperienced in the matter of sexual activities. Such woman generally has fear of pain during vaginal penetration.
Frist night after the wedding is also disappointing since both husband and wife are novice, ignorant and inexperienced about sexual act. In general, the woman is not interested in intercourse as much as he is. For her, intercourse is one way of pleasing the person whom she loves. For man it is something ‘taking’ and for woman it is something ‘giving’. For man, it is final goal for woman it is means of achieving the goal. Unlike man, a woman can survive without sexual stimulation for years.
What woman feels?(woman’s sexual needs)
Woman complains that :
“He makes a lot of haste during the sexual act”
“He does not indulge in sufficient foreplay”
“The foreplay is routine and mechanical”
“He is not romantic”
“As soon as he reaches climax, he turns his face and goes to sleep”
“He leaves me half way”
“He is very selfish in the matter of sex”
“He uses me like a sleeping pill”
“He is interested in nothing else but intercourse”
“He is very rough. I expect him to be slow, soft, honest, and faithfuland spend more time in loving each other.”
“He feels that I should be ready for sex as and when he desires. He never cares for my mood.”
“It is he who decides when, how long how often and in what way to perform sex.”
“I wonder why he goes after other women in spite of providing him everything he desires”
What the Researchers say?Shere Hite:
“Lying on the back and stimulating the clitoral area with hand gives satisfaction physically, but not psychologically. The difference between this and sex with a partner is that the intense heat of another body is missing, plus the stimulation of the other parts of the body. But, Masturbation you can do alone, quickly and you are sure of an orgasm”.
“Majority of woman do not experience orgasm as a result of intercourse”.
“Intercourse is not a reliable way to orgasm”
“Intercourse with or without orgasm is more fulfilling than orgasm without intercourse”
“Affections and closeness were the basic reasons for liking the intercourse, rarely mentioning the orgasm”
“Women have a different arousal system than men. Their arousal is a total body response, rather thana genital one “
“The sequence foreplay, penetration and intercourse followed by male orgasm and end of sequence, is always under the control of man, gives no chance for female orgasm, but teases the women inhumanly”
“Sex is an Activity engaged in by two for the satisfaction of one.”
What Indian women say?
“It is true that woman has more desire for sex. Unlike men, women do not seek extramarital relationship. She will sacrifice everything only for being loved by her husband”
“For sexual pleasure women is not dependent upon man. Her concept of sexual pleasure can be different than that of man”
“Women do not have sex desire as much as men have; otherwise there would have been dens of male sex workers.”
“Intercourse is necessary for fertility but not for woman’s sexual pleasure”
It seems Mother Nature has dissociated the instinct for propagation of life into two components. Majority of pleasure component is given to the male and majority of fertility component is given to the female.
Posted by Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Wnho Clinic, 2014 sadashiv peth, Tilak road, Pune. Free to call for further information.