1. Discuss Your Relationship
Tell your sibling that you want a better relationship with him. Make it clear that you are willing to put in the effort. If your sibling has hurt you in the past, forgive him and move on so you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Remember it takes time to build a great relationship so be patient.
2. Be Supportive
Be supportive of your sibling. This is exceptionally important when he/she is going through tough times. Life can throw sudden curveballs like a serious illness, failure in any subject, friendship broken, etc.It will mean a lot to him if he can lean on you for emotional support regardless of what he has to go through in life.
3. Stay in Touch
With so much technology at our fingertips, we have no excuse not to stay in touch. But many of us place have other priorities ahead of talking with our siblings. Promise each other that you will check in on a daily basis. Make communication a priority so you know what’s going on in their life.
4. Celebrate the Big and Little Moments
There are many joyous moments in life like getting selected in the annual day, got first prize in the debate competition. Be there to celebrate these big moments with your siblings. You will make precious memories as you do. Along with these big moments, celebrate the little ones such as appreciated by class teacher for giving an answer in the class. Celebrate doesn't need to be very big. It could be going out for ice cream, bringing chocolates, baking cake, etc.
5. Become Friends
The goal of improving the relationship with your siblings is to become friends who respect, love and care about each other. If you are the older sibling, avoid offering advice unless they ask. Don’t try to fix or control their life even though you may mean well. Respect his/her as an individual and the way she does things even though you may not think its right.eg. Don't tell your siblings that you can't do this, never try to interfere in their privacy or never advised them that this friend of yours is misusing you, etc.
6. Communicate, don’t confront
How we handle communication with our siblings reveals what’s going on in our hearts. Who we are at home is who we are. Because of this, the communication patterns you use with your immediate family will be the same patterns that characterize your future .eg. If you don't like any habit of your siblings, communicate to them but politely. They will listen and understand. Express your feelings in front of your siblings. It's very important for any relationship. Talk to your siblings about each other's problems, each other experiences, share secrets and also instead of confronting your siblings with anger when you are wronged, learn to communicate with respect and kindness. Proverbs Make a habit of communicating with gentleness and humility and all your relationships will improve. If you know you were wrong, accept it , never argue on it and just tell your sibling I will keep it in mind and not repeat it again.
7. Respect their boundaries
You probably don’t like it when your sister borrows your favorite shirt without asking. If you want the respect of your room, belongings, time, and opinions, you must offer that same respect to her. By respecting your siblings’ interests and opinions, you lay the groundwork for improved communication. As all of us have our own privacy, so never interfere in your sibling's privacy. No one likes it. Everyone has their own private time.
8. Give compliments
Speaking kindness over people takes practice. For many of us, it doesn’t come naturally. This is particularly true with your immediate family, whose flaws you see every day. Our natural inclination is to focus on our siblings’ flaws, but instead, consider their talents, skills and strengths. Take notice of what they do well, not just what they do poorly.As you reach out with kindness by giving compliments, your siblings’ attitudes will improve toward you as well. Love and respect grow as one person takes the first step toward an improved relationship.eg. If your brother has been given a chance to speak in the assembly . Just go and give a hug and say wow you got selected to speak in the assembly. I am proud of you. I know you can do and will do it. I am always with you.
9.Trust and Care
Developing trust and respect is important. Your sibling will feel secured with you and he/she know there is someone to take care of me. Trust and respect become more of a two-way street. You can nurture trust and respect in your relationship. For example:
- Be available when your sibling needs support, care or help, whether it’s picking up when he/she falls, helping in doing an activity of his/her school or helping your child in understanding the rules of a new game. This helps him learn to trust that you’ll be there when he needs you.
- Be honest- Be honest to your sibling
- Get to know your sibling and value him/her her for who he/she is. If your sibling loves football, cheer him/her for it or ask about her favourite players. This shows respect for her feelings and opinions, and also lets him/her that you can be trusted.
- Use positive affirmations with your sibling. Eg. You are strong enough to fight this challenge, believe in yourself, I know you can do it, I have full faith you, You are my hero.
- At the time, we need to say "no" to our siblings. It's okay. But you need to give them logical reasons to say no. Eg. If your younger sibling wants to use your mobile , you need to say no and make your sibling understand that you are too small to use mobile phones. When you will grow, I will give you mobile and you can use it. Right now it's your age to play board games, watch t.v, etc.
- Always make eye contact while talking to your sibling.
10. Spending quality time with your siblings
- Relationships are built on quality time. Time together is how you get to know about each other’s experiences, thoughts, feelings and changing interests. This is great for your relationship with your sibling.
- Quality time can happen anytime and anywhere, in the middle of ordinary days and situations. It can be a shared laugh with the sibling on a specific moment of a cartoon. It would be watching your a movie together. It could be watching your child's childhood albums with them. It could be acting out family members. It could be playing board games
- When you spend quality time with your sibling, you’re showing that you value and appreciate them. You can take advantage of quality time at this time of quarantine to communicate powerful positive messages with your smiles, laughter, eye contact, hugs, and gentle touches.
- Have bonding exercises with siblings. eg. If you love dancing, one day you can do that with your sibling. If your sibling loves football, you can talk about it or watch any movie on it. Like this you will be able to find one common interest. Every day make it a habit to include your common interest in your daily routine for 10-15 minutes. All those who are away from their siblings, you can do it on video calls.
- Talk to your siblings about each other's problems, each other's experiences, share secrets and also discuss your friends, toys, different activities. Talk about your school, class teacher, etc. This is the time when you can talk to each other about anything and everything.