Man in Mirror

I looked at the man in the mirror. He was looking at me. When I looked in to his eyes, he moved restlessly.

I was shocked. Is he different than me?

‘Who are you?’ I asked.

‘I am Sachin ’ he said.

‘But I am Sachin for sure’, I said.

 ‘You are not Sachin, my dear,’ he said.

‘Then who am I?’ I asked.

‘You are the insecure father, husband, doctor, professional, Hindu tax-payer Citizen of India’ he said.

‘They are the roles that I have to play to live life in this society. Can you not understand this obligation on me?’ I said.

‘Are you really playing these roles or have you become those?’ he asked.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I am working for your wellbeing and comfort as well. What is all this nonsense crap that you are talking about?’ I was angry.

‘That is the regular style of yours to talk to everybody who talks different than what you think. I am not interested in continuing this talk further’ he was remorseful.

‘I am so sorry for being rude’ I said, ‘but tell me why have you brought up this topic when you know that you and I are one and the same?’

‘You are so stupid not to even understand that you left me long long ago. You think that you are me, but you are not’ he said.

‘I am creative, instinctive, experimental, smiling, playful, joyful, loving, decision taking happy boy living in the present second enjoying my life. You are mixture of different roles that you are playing since 6 A.M. today till 6 A.M. tomorrow.

I was fearless of falling when I learned walking and cycling, you are fearful of losing a dime that you have earned all the time.

I saw friends everywhere, you search enemy in everyone and in every situation. You have not spared me as well. You have been constantly searching for your enemy in me’ he said.

I was getting nervous with kind of talk. ‘Why would I look for my enemy in you?’ I asked.

‘Anybody who causes you discomfort of inconvenience is your enemy. When I was ill and could not go to earn money, you were angry with me. When I had pain due to your dinner late night, you hated me. When you could not get the award or money you wanted, you drank excess alcohol and took revenge on me. You hated me for some skin patch that I did not bring on. For GOD’s sake, why everybody wants to hit me including the great Milkha Singh, when he fails to achieve something?’ he was getting in to hot temper now.

This conversation was becoming nasty now. I was becoming uncomfortable now.

‘This is rubbish. I have full authority to hit you, if you don’t obey or co-operate with me. I own you’ I was furious.

‘Ha..Ha..Ha..Forget about that. In fact it is vice-versa’ he looked thoroughly amused. He was laughing at me.

‘I don’t believe you’ I was baffled. ‘Prove it to me’ I said.

‘Do you get sleepless nights?’ he asked.

‘Sometimes’ I said.

‘I control it’ he said.

‘Do you get anxious, panicky or depressed?’ he asked.

‘Sometimes’ I said.

‘I control it’ he said.

‘Do you not perform properly in bed?’ he asked.

‘Sometimes’ I said.

‘I control it’ he said.

‘Did you attend Art Of Living or Vipassana or any other spiritual courses to find peace?’ He asked.

‘Sometimes’ I said.

‘I control it’ he said.

‘Did you request to GOD something and still you did not get it?’ he asked.

‘Sometimes’ I said.

‘I control it’ he said.

I was thoroughly disturbed. ‘Listen carefully. It was some person or situation that I could not tackle properly who made me restless. You can’t make me restless’ I insisted.

‘You are thoroughly underestimating me. By stating so, you are insulting me as well. I will give you proof of my powers now.’ He looked angry.

‘Now you go to bed and sleep. I will make it sure that you will not be able to sleep’ He smiled villainously.

I was becoming fearful of the man in mirror now. Because I knew I will not be able to sleep now.

‘Listen. I did everything for your comforts. I earned lots of power, position and pennies. I bought good vehicle, music system and house for you to use. I took you to places of enjoyment. Then why are you talking like this to me?’ I was on back foot now.

‘You never gave me what I really needed’ he said. ‘You never even bothered to ask me what my needs are.’

‘Ok. Tell me now. I will fulfill your needs now. What is the big deal?’ I said.

‘Then do everything that you do with your son’ he said.

‘What do you mean?’ I was confused.

‘Become a smiling, loving, respecting, caring and helping father for me. I never had father like you are to your son. I need a father like you that I am missing since my childhood’ he looked pretty sad.

‘What is special in me as a daddy?’ I asked.

‘Listen carefully. You are taking all due care to avoid your son criticizing you for the reasons you criticize your parents. It is exactly what I need ’ he was precise.

I was surprised to listen to such an easy solution out.

‘I am so sorry’ I said. ‘I was ignorant, I agree. I was thinking that your pleasures are in finishing insecurity and dealing with responsibilities. Now I understand that when I think of pleasure of my son; it is in my smiles, respect, love, care and help to him. It is in the cuddling, hugs and kisses that I give to him. It is my expressions of all those things to him. It is the reassurance that I give to him that I am with him all the times. It is the support that show when he fails to achieve something. It is the repeated expression of being friends forever. It is the repeated expression that the discomforts and inconveniences don’t matter in our friendship. It is the repeated expression to him that I am his, and he is mine.’

My eyes were tearful.

The person in the mirror looked younger now. He was smiling at me. His shoulders now started becoming broad, and his spine appeared strait now. His neck looked high now. His tummy looked tucked in. His chest looked wide and full. He breathed quiet now.

‘I am your tool, my dear. You decide and I will do any job you assign to me. I will work for you till you die. Make me powerful, and I will be in better position to work for you. You know my needs now. I hope you will remember and fulfill my needs for ever’ he was radiant now.

His smile was flashing. He looked charming. He looked killer.

‘Good night’ he said. ‘Today you will sleep deep after many years. It is because you have given me reason to sleep peacefully. You have declared me as friend forever. That is what I need. Thanks, my dear, for being there always for me.’