"No Mommy, I Can't do. You Do It!"...and the parents does rest.
These are common statements now a day from children when parents follow up for doing their work. In good faith and to support the if parents doing such tasks sometimes which is supposed to be done by kids, and they can do it is ok, but such regular habits ultimately limit kids' opportunities to build important life skills, sense of self-confidence and independence to great extent.
(A) Why parents do kid’s job? Reasons:
1.Overprotection – Display of extra care
2. Convenience– So that repeated questions avoided
3. Pressure to succeed – Bad handwriting or long time to do
4. Lack of trust – He / She won’t do good.
5. Fear of messy jobs – They do worst job, which may need correction.
6. Time constraints – why to waste time on continuous follow up
7. Underestimating child’s capabilities – he / she may not be able to do it
(B) Consequences:
1.Underdeveloped life skills.
2. Excess dependence on parents.
3. Low self-esteem and confidence.
4. Increased stress and anxiety.
5. Limited problem - solving skills.
6. Demanding mentality.
7.Strained parent-child relationships.
(C) Benefits of parents let kids do their tasks:
1. Develops responsibility and accountability.
2. Enhances self-reliance and independence.
3. Builds problem-solving and critical thinking skills.
4. Encourages self-confidence and self-esteem.
6. Prepares for real-world expectations.
7. Strengthens parent-child relationships.
(D) Parental Strategies to encourage kids to take ownership:
1.Assign tasks according to age and ability.
2. Set clear expectations and deadlines.
3. Encourage self-reflection and goal setting.
4. Model responsible behavior.
5. Offer guidance and support.
6. Praise efforts, not just results.
7. Gradually increase responsibility.
8. Teach time management and organization skills.
By allowing kids to take ownership of their tasks, parents can help them develop essential life skills, confidence, and independence.
Dr. Dharmendra Solanki- PhD.
Counselling Psychologist & Life Coach
Mumbai +91 9819724462