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Stuck in the past
Hello doctor..!
I am 24 yrs old, I am stuck with many thoughts in my mind.. it feels like they are continuously running in my back mind.
So I met a guy over instagram in jan 2019 he sent me request.he used to message me every now and then about how I am what's going and all of that. back to 2019 I was preparing for my NEET mds, I used to use Instagram and this social media only once a month or so. aftr my exams got over he askd me for a coffee.I was like let's give it a try. I met him, felt good we spent a lot of time toghtr aftr that day.. and eventually we got into rltnshp. aftr few months he told me about one of his frnd who according to him was his ex.but I somehow felt as if he is lying.I was mdly in love and thus ignored this thng.aftr 10-15 days that guy ditched me.all of a sudden he just left me all alone.. and then I got to know that he was cheatng on me.. cheatng with some othr girl I forgvd him but then all this continued till today, it's almost 2.5 yrs.ineedtogetoutofthis
Answers (9)
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Dear 'Stuck in the Past',
The hurt a broken heart gives is very painful, irrespective of whether a relationship was one sided or mutual.
Love has its joy and excitement along with its pain and suffering like any other relationship.
It is difficult to forget even if you forgive but I assure you time will surely help in the healing. Your emotional investment in the relationship is almost equal to the time you will take to heal.
The realization that you want to move ahead and out of it is a good beginning towards your wound healing.
With Regards,
Dr. Nisha James
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Keeping yourself busy with work or hobbies will help
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Hi. Concentrate on your career. Take decision in relationship slowly and steadily. Be nonjudgmental and non reactive. Be strong. Accept this harsh reality. Move on. Let it go..
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Love your pets
Unconditional Love
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Be independent first in every possible aspect.
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Hi, I understand you are upset about what has happened. You feel let down. I know it can hurt when a person you care about cheats on you. It looks like you are deeply affected by the past and you keep thinking about it often. You want to reach out to someone who will help you with what you are going through. You can consult a psychologist and you can express your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You will feel better after a Counseling session.
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Consult a psychologist online.
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I can understand that you're feeling hurt and cheated by your partner of 2.5 years who had initially approached you to get into a relationship. This must have harmed your self-esteem and yet you were kind enough to forgive him but he hasn't stopped cheating on you.
I am sorry that you're in this situation and I know that it can be tough on you mentally and emotionally. First you need to introspect on whether or not you want to continue the relationship with your partner. After you take the decision, you need to choose between couple therapy or personal counselling.
Next Steps
1. Decide on how you'd like to move forward.
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Hi explore your thoughts, feelings to us. You feel free to talk to us. You need to come out & move on in your life happily for that you need to take sessions.
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Hello
Please seek professional support to come out of this cycle. The counselor will help you empower on your thoughts and also teach you mind management .
We use various techniques to support our patients. Though it will depend on once we hear the complete concern.
My good wishes are with you.
Next Steps
For self help please create a routine and follow it. It will help you structure your life and practice mindfulness
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If you feel comfortable, you can reach out online for now due to lockdown on Practo : Neha Ravichandran
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Forgiveness is an essential trait to live a happy life but forgetting and making the same mistake again and again cannot be a solution.
You need to decide what you value more in your life. What he makes you feel when he is good to you or what he makes you feel when he cheats on you.
Some people (male/female) use this strategy of first coming too close (emotionally) and then ignoring completely, to make the other person feel their desperate need and do everything to have them back in their lives. This is a manipulative strategy which needs to be firmly ended.
Next Steps
You need Interpersonal Relationship Counselling. Seek a Psychologist/Counsellor.
Health Tips
To seek my services online, you can Google me or visit my Website (https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy)
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Tell me, if you are ready to forgive Jim of his cheating, how can you leave him.
It looks like that you were still OK, and expecting him to change somehow..
I am really surprised, as an educate woman, you aren't functioning logically and still thinking and depending like a. Uneducated dependent woman..
Hope you can reflect and take control of your future rather.
Next Steps
For a detailed discussion you can reach me for an online consultation by using the link given below :-
https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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Ms. Ritika Matta
Counselling Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Hyderabad
Hi, you can contact me for an online appointment and we can explore this narrative together
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