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Regarding his behaviour and not studying
Hello doc.. my son is 11 years old and he is staying with my parents . As I'm working woman can't give much time to him and his studies.he go to tuition and my mother too teach him. He is not concentrating on studies and he cries alot. Evry single reason he cry think too emotionally and he jus talk rudely . I want him to study well . Kindly advise.
Answers (10)
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There must be some reason behind his behaviour. It's better you take help of a professional person i.e an experienced psychologist to understand him with the help of detail case history
Next Steps
consult a psychologist
Health Tips
Try to understand him from his perspective
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Initialy work on the relationship. Talk to him politely without the pretext of studies , share ur concerns ,how u r facing life, to create the atmosphere of u both exchange ur inner most thoughts and feelings. See if something inside him is disturbing him. U have to create this bond gradually. It will give him the idea that beside studies also u can talk. This will give u insight about his crying and emotional behavior.
Set certain timetable firmly for studies, with some positive and negative consequences. Follow it strictly. Initially he would try to defy but with ur firmness he will learn the routine.
Last but not least Be patient , parenting is tough job but rewarding.
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Dr. Rakhi Anand (PhD)
Psychologist
30 yrs exp
Delhi
Hello there,
Talking rudely, not being able to focus on studies and crying spells all indicate that the child might be facing some kind of discomfort which can be in the school or with peers. Specific reason can be known if a detailed history of the child is taken. Try to take out more time for the child and listen to his problems. Listen to what he wants to tell you , why he cries. Try to have a proper conversation with the child. Ask him about his day at school. The child needs to feel connected to you. If you are not able to still figure out the reason for his changes in behavior then seek a professional help.
Next Steps
Consult a Clinical Psychologist
Health Tips
Taking out quality time, Listening to his daily whereabouts.
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Ms. Ananthi
Counselling Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Chennai
Hi.
It's good thing that you have raised your doubts and problems. Many parents do face these issues. Children must be taken to counselling monthly once to check if they are just happy.
A psychologist will discuss about past months experiences of the child regarding peer group, studies, family and school life just to check if the child is frustrated or complaining or feels good about their life.
Any problem can make a child feel annoyed, irritated, cry, shout, or frustrated. They will not tell things easily out to parents. Hence a bridging has to be done.
Your child can understand everything. Pls spend 10 mins daily with him to ask what he likes. It not the materials or things. But about emotions, feelings or attitudes. Talk to him positively. Share your experiences of work and family life. Being moral towards child is must. If you have failed to do this, then take your child to psychologist to give him positivity, hope and coping up to environment. Once children tell their problems and it gets solved, they start concentrating on studies.
Also if there is only concentration issues with child, then there is a vital need to give concentration exercises. Sometimes children skip exercises even if they are told to do so.
A psychologist would check, assess and make them concentrate through therapeutic exercises. A child need not have any problems of abnormalities. Even normal children do face issues.
Next Steps
kindly take him to a psychologist. He must be given a lot of chances.
Health Tips
He may cry for various or particular or even unknown reasons. Try to find out the reasons by talking to him or take him to psychologist.
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Ms. Kavita Sharma (PhD)
Counselling Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Udaipur
Thankyou for Sharing l appreciate that you aware about your things also you are understanding you son, and as a Mother you want to do good for him. Spending good time with him or became a child with your child is the best thing you can do with him. Also try to do some activities with him, give and take little to responsibilities so that he get a message that he and his Mother to work as a team. There are so many activities you can find out from Google. Be positive with your child and give Positivity to him so you both will feel supportive. If you still find difficult to deal than I suggest you to consult with Child psychologist or Art therapist to help him best.
Next Steps
Consult with Child Psychologist or Art therapist.
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Ms. Seema Jathar
Counselling Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Pune
Hello
Your son is going to slip into adolescence, children try to rebel at this age. He is not getting your time, your attention your touch so this behaviour is increasing day by day. Try to give time to your son everyday, talk to him about what he feels what he wants, try to understand him. Parenting is not so easy . Try to improve and work on your relationship with him. Take sessions for parental counseling.
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Ms. Chellam Narendiran
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Hi,
You son is getting into pre - adolescence stage. Such behaviors are very common though he needs your personal attention at this point of time. Would recommend you to spend quality time with him and understand his real problem than focusing on academic issues. Once his emotional issues been answered he would by himself will start focusing on academics.
Next Steps
Spend time with him for quite a sometime and make him to understand the reality.
Health Tips
1) Focus on addressing his emotional problems (2) Ask directly his concerns and address it now and then (3) Make him feel special with surprise gifts and visits.
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Ms. Rajatha Sarkar
Psychologist
17 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi thanks for your approach to us..
I understand concerns towards certain issues with your son, and certain commitments with your personal life.
But try to think of your priority, if it is son, fix yourself to give him time to build a rapport, affection and bond age, he could be observing how other children get the presence of parents and would expect the same from your end, which might be result of his behaviour.
Because of his emotional distress he lacks in concentration, confidence and interest.
Next Steps
First focus on building rapport, work on his concerns / emotions, gradually try to play with him knowing his likes and difficulties along with this giving him small work related to academic.. Would help you..
Health Tips
Fix routine, plan your work and spending time with your child, try to be calm and positive.. Take the help of experts during this period..
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
I think he is seeking attention from you.
Schedule in your everyday calender, a slot to be spent with your son exclusively..And that should become your routine...
That might calm him down from his rudeness and it would enhance the bond between you both.
You both can get to know each other by being together..
He is going to slip into adolescence.. Better to plant a bind before that.
Next Steps
For more details and clarity, you get get in touch with me through the online consultation
https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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Dr. Krantikar PhD (PhD) (PhD)
Counselling Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Hyderabad
Every parent must follow 3 Ts rule. Talk, Time and Touch. U need to talk with your son positively. Don't force to study more.He need your time. U have to talk qualitatively. Quality Talk is a confidence booster and create rapport. Then he listens your voice. Last one is Touch. He needs more for affection, love and support. Automatically academic performance will be better.
Next Steps
I am in Hyderabad. U can consult with Practo online consultation.
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