Hi, I am Dr. Deepmala Gautam (Ph.D in Clinical Psychology), this problem and pattern persists in most of the families. But, most of the people don't consider the stress and anxiety of their partner. Sometimes, relatives and friends do not suggest right steps to do.

Marital life depends a lot on mutual love, respect and understanding. If you need a relationship counselling for individually for you on how to handle this situation, book a session

Consultation with me is advised

Kindly reach out for sessions

You're not too sensitive. Being spoken to harshly and pushed aside isn't something to just get used to, and giving him chance after chance is love running on empty, not weakness. Three years of this doesn't just hurt your feelings, it wears down your body and peace of mind too. Here's the hard part though, you can't control whether he changes. You can only control what you accept and where you draw the line. That's not giving up on him, that's protecting yourself while things get sorted out. Talking to a psychologist could help you build those boundaries and reconnect with what you need, separate from whether he ever changes. You don't have to carry this alone.

I advise you to go for couple counselling.

It seems to be Post traumatic psychological changes leading to depression and other psychological issues. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated and can affect your personal and married life. It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects. It needs to be addressed in a holistic approach for complete recovery. You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.

Keep expectations low.

Protect your emotional space If interactions repeatedly leave you confused, guilty, frightened, or emotionally exhausted, reduce unnecessary contact where possible. With a difficult coworker, for example, keep communication brief, factual, and preferably documented. A useful rule Be kind without being controllable. Be understanding without surrendering your boundaries. Be firm without becoming cruel. And remember: setting a boundary is not the same as hurting someone. A person's anger or disappointment doesn't automatically mean that you have done something wrong.

Psychotherapy session needed

Hi

“I’m so heavily depressed… he doesn’t listen to me at all, and uses disrespectful words that are really so hurtful" you said, that sounds deeply exhausting, especially when you’ve been “adjusting myself” and giving him chances again and again. Your hurt and anger make sense when you feel unheard, disrespected and emotionally unsupported. A CBT + assertiveness and boundary-focused approach can help you break the cycle of over-adjusting, communicate your needs and rebuild your emotional stability. The goal is not just to tolerate his behaviour better, but to help you regain your self-respect, clarity and sense of control. With the right support, your mental peace can improve even if you cannot control whether or when he chooses to change.

Hey The thing is When someone you deeply love changes their behaviour and repeatedly makes you feel unheard, disrespected, or emotionally unimportant, it can be extremely painful. Constantly adjusting, giving chances, and hoping things will return to how they were can leave you emotionally exhausted. Your feelings are valid, and this situation deserves to be taken seriously especially since it has been affecting your mental peace and physical health for years. Try to shift the focus from repeatedly trying to change him to understanding what you need and what boundaries are necessary for your emotional well-being. Communicate your feelings clearly during a calm moment, without blaming, but also recognise that respect and emotional safety are essential in a relationship. Individual counseling can help you regain clarity, strengthen boundaries, and decide what is healthiest for you moving forward. For psychological support and counseling, contact nine two six six seven two six zero six five.

Connect with psychologist to resolve inner conflict

Start by identifying and clearly communicating your needs and boundaries, especially around disrespectful or hurtful language. Avoid trying to resolve serious disagreements when either of you is highly emotionally charged; take a pause and return to the conversation when calmer.

Hi Has ji’s sister n family come to live with u? Or are they away from u? Nevertheless if he is giving more attention to them maybe something in their life has changed so drastically that he thinks they need him. However if u feel sidelined and neglected then speak to him clearly about it. If u have already done so and things remain unchanged for u then draw your boundaries. Do not give in to his and behaviour or adjust to his misgivings. Things may not change but it’ll give u some peace of mind to regain some lost ground.

I need to understand right from the beginning as to it was love or arranged marriage, educational, their culture etc. Any how 3 years time, which u suffered  is also too long to decide a consultancy. What was u understanding, was it mchosen partner or forced partner, environment all plays important roles. Weather it's their issue or your in capability to coup up the joint family? Purely depends on personality traits. Here you can do ONLY FROM YOUR SID3 unless both H & W decide for couple counseling. You need to be firm on your points, seek parental intervention, ask husband to join couple counseling.  

Hi, start taking therapy for your mental health and you can even take couple's therapy with your partner that would really help you alot.

It sounds incredibly painful to carry this heavy burden for three years while trying to adjust, only to feel disrespected and manipulated in return. Imagine carrying a heavy backpack up a hill while someone keeps adding rocks to it—eventually, your body and mind will break down, which is exactly what this stress is doing to your physical and mental health. You deserve to be heard, respected, and supported, not emotionally exhausted. Please reach out to me directly for a consultation so we can work together to rebuild your emotional strength and help you navigate this difficult situation.

If he doesn’t listen to you at all, don’t force him to listen focus on improving you self into more positive personality and give time for self care and self love. Keep distance for some days, as if we are readily available, our value also comes down. You don’t have to adjust, focus on yourself. Secure your mental peace, your peace should not be based on his actions.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Being repeatedly ignored, disrespected, or feeling emotionally neglected in a marriage can be deeply distressing, and, understandably, this is affecting your mental and physical well-being. If these feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, disturbed sleep, or loss of interest have been persistent, connect with a psychologist for a proper assessment and therapy. There are evidence-based therapies, such as CBT and interpersonal therapy and can be helpful when relationship stress is contributing to depression or anxiety. Therapy can also help you understand the relationship dynamics, establish healthy boundaries, strengthen coping skills, and decide what is in your best interest.

What you are going through sounds quite difficult and can wear a person down emotionally. Therapy could help you process this and gain clarity on what steps to take next

Hello, Thank you for sharing your concern here. Seeing a loved one change so drastically is certainly painful and unsettling. One sided efforts from your side are exhausting and affecting your physical and mental health adversely. You have somehow compromised your self respect by tolerating and accommodating more without any reciprocation. Establishing healthy boundaries with action, by doing what's possible for you, saying no when required and clearly stating your intolerance for any form of disrespect shall help since your words have not been honoured. Psychotherapy sessions shall certainly help you by expressing your concerns in a safe and non judgemental space. You can consult for further professional guidance. I wish you progressive healing and holistic wellness. Happy Healthy Living!

Hi, consult please