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Suicidal thoughts

The past 3 months have been emotionally challenging for me. i dunno whats the purpose of my life or why was i even born. i failed to clear UPSC prelims . I quit my job for prep. I've led a very simple life no booze or drugs & not even a GF. Also my regretful past haunts me too. I can't talk to my parents or anyone about it . I'm a rational person & perhaps its my loneliness consuming me. i get suicidal thoughts atleast once in a week. Is this normal or am i just creating an illusion to accept failure & move ahead with a better plan. Pls help. Its out of my control as i was never like this before. Sometimes i dont get these thoughts but when they do come...it just ruins my entire day & to a certain extent my preparation too. Apart from exam results , some aspects of my teenage life of which i am ashamed to reveal to anyone is adding fuel to my state of disappointment in life. I talk to all about positivity and here i am running away from it.
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Doctor Answers (4) on Suicidal thoughts

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Answered
Your symptoms suggest you could have a depressive illness for past 3months: Low mood, feeling down, negative thoughts, wanting to be alone, feeling helpless, low confidence, decreased concentration, regretful thoughts, losing control, purposeless, suicidal thoughts.
You probably had similar but not that severe symptoms in the past.
If you are having suicidal thoughts means now your illness is serious and severe.
Next Steps
Talk to your parents or closest person first. Buckle up and garner courage to visit a psychiatrist accompanied by them. Depressive illness is a very common treatable illness. You would definitely feel a lot better after treatment. Treatment would involve medicines or counseling(CBT) or both.
Health Tips
Talk and tell. Open up and speak out. If you have chest pain or stomach pain or even Malaria you would tell your parents or someone. The depressive symptoms are also similar. They are distress signals for suffering underneath.
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Ms. Hema Sampath Bangalore | Clinical Psychologist
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Yes  ,  that affects ur present.
If u can share it with  some neutral person like a Psychologist  or a Counsellor  near you place, I feel you will definitely get a clarity and would be able to decide about your future  better.
Donot hesitate .
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Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
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Hello There,

I see that you are an ambitious & focused person who likes to keep his life under his command. You seem to have strict standards for yourself in shaping the life path. You have successfully disciplined your mind which remains under your control most of the time. Life however has it's own unpredictability which need not be always pleasant.

I see that a few incidents from teen years have stayed with you as a strong critic for the way you think & act now because they aren't inline with your self-image. Failing to clear prelims after the honest effort has made you question your intelligence & choice of lifestyle..?? Even entertaining negative thoughts seem to be out of sync with your self-image which is an outright positive person.

Now, my dear friend i want you to ask yourself few questions. Start with these. what according to you is the purpose of your life..?? Is your current purpose the very purpose you had in mind before 5 years..?? Is the purpose shaped only through achievements..?? Do failures have any role in shaping us..?? Is 24 hours imaginable without 12 hours of night..?? Does one failure make you a failure..??

Disappointment is natural after a heartbreak however it's wise to seek help if the heart stays broken. Rational thing to do would be to make most out of this failure and use it as the stepping stone. Good Luck in expanding your self-image.

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Dr. Udayan Bhaumik Kolkata | Psychiatrist
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See,its definitely worrisome and please meet a psychologist at the earliest.It is sometimes better to reveal ypur worries.Ot certainly helps.
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