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Idk what to do
Actually I was in a relationship for 4 years .
And in short I got used and dumped by my ex.
After being used for 8 times he dumped me and I was really in a bad condition and I got used 8 times because it was a long distance relationship. I even contacted him as I was missing his voice but he insisted Me to meet him to have sexual relationship with me to which I rejected I mean he is not ready to marry me but ready to have sexual relationship with me and he even says that he loves me in the end I feel he made a fool out of myself and was with me from the start to have fun and my mind continuously thinks about him I'm Hurt and unable to concentrate on my studies I even dream of him idk how to move on and let go everything .please help me I don't want to think about him and just want to concentrate on myself and make me better person .he was a lesson I want to live my life happily and be really successful so how to achieve it. Can also suggest me about the books names.just help me .
Answers (14)
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Hi
First of all, you are brave to come forward and doing such a good thing for yourself by seeking support/help.
While it may seem wrong, it is normal to reach out to someone because of the feelings one has had all those years.
Again, you did the right thing by taking a stand for yourself.
No matter how hard it may feel right now, it will get better. The fact that you want to move on from it and already see it as a lesson is a big beginning. That is the hardest part.
Next Steps
It would help you to take therapy sessions to learn techniques to cope and move forward. You deserve to be treated better and be with the right partner and you sure will find him ! :)
Health Tips
Make sure to take sessions from someone who is legally permitted to provide them i.e. make sure to ask for your therapist's licence number (RCI number)
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Relationship grief is usually ignored and needs to be felt. When a person is in a relationship for a long time, our brain releases happy hormones. As soon as it ends, our body feels the need for the happy hormone that used to be released during the long-term of relationship. This is why it gets difficult to get over someone (besides other reasons).
Psychotherapy not only helps with grief of what you've lost but it also helps with managing emotions, self-awareness, and self-improvement. You can work on yourself with the expert and become the best version of yourself.
As Ayn Rand put it so aptly: To say "I love you", one must first know how to say "I".
Next Steps
I specialize in Anxiety, stress management, self exploration, wellbeing, and issues related to self-esteem and self confidence.
I use mindfulness based CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) with the inclusion of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), SFBT (Solution Focused Brief Therapy), and Art modalities.
You can reach out to me here or through the given link:
https://linktr.ee/ruhacounseling
Health Tips
Reaching out to a mental health expert is always better than dealing with things alone. More so, when you've tried everything already. It does not mean that the person is crazy, it means that they are Human.
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I already deal with patients who suffer from anxiety and stress from relationship. in case you would like to reach out to me message me in person at double eight zero two two nine seven nine four three. A counselling session will help you.
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Hi, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am sure this is tough for you. It looks like there are emotions of grief, loneliness and rejection, betrayal and despair in that you are experiencing. All this can be overwhelming to be dealt with at the same time given the depth of a high one has and ask the multiple layers that come with an intimate relationship like this. We will have to create a safe space for you to release these emotions so you are in a better place to make certain goals about your life which you’d like to achieve and create a life which is fulfilling for you. For you to be able to do that you will have to process these emotions and get back to be in a place where you can weight your choices and be pragmatic about who you are. You’re brave. Stay.
Next Steps
I can help you work on your complex emotions so you feel much more in control of who you are. Love and healing ❤️
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A Relationship involves a lot of emotions, efforts & attachment . It is never easy to deal when things go south.
You have been in a 4 yr long relationship.
Psychotherapy will help you greatly to deal with the break up.
Next Steps
Book an appointment with me
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Hello!
Very sorry to hear about your bitter experience in love and your heartbreak. This person is a red flag, and he needs to be avoided. You both had different expectations from the relationship. While you wanted something rock solid and meaningful, he was looking for enjoyment and fun time.
Please find someone who shares a similar expectation from the relationship, someone who understands and respects you as a person.
Your decision to move on and find a new meaning in life in correct.
Find and do something that u like and will keep you occupied.
You seem to have a problem of attachment and clinging to toxic people. Please contact me for further consultation to learn how to identify red flags and avoid attachments.
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Please get in touch with me through Practo
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Hi,
Being 4 years in relationship has many impressions on you emotionally and physically. The emotions and memories might be bothering you. Through Hypnotherapy we can release theses emotions from core.
Also, repeatedly being in same loop of relationship might be a reason of some unconscious need or neglect.
Through Counseling and Therapy letting go past and building yourself happy and successful will be easy.
Thank you and Take care.
Next Steps
For more info. Visit web: https://manpravah.com/
Health Tips
Accept the past and allow those feelings to feel and release. Set a GOAL for yourself
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It's relationship induced stress disorder. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively.
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you can contact me through online appointment for further assistance
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Hi,It is not easy to handle a break up after four years of a relationship.Accepting the situation and moving on is important.Emotions such as guilt,anger,etc are common.Give yourself some time to heal and try to spend time with friends and family.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist
Health Tips
Regular exercise.
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Most of the time, when a relationship ends (even if the relationship ended badly), we still hold out a little hope that one day, we can give things a second shot. We daydream about the good times, gloss over the bad — and when the opportunity arises to give the relationship another try, we're often eager to make a go of it, even though we know deep down that it’s a bad idea. And then, before we know it, our worst worries are realized — nothing has changed, the relationship is plagued by the same problems it always had, and we're stuck in the vicious cycle of an on-again, off-again relationship.
Next Steps
Keep a list of the reasons you actually broke up, to keep you tethered to reality.
Health Tips
connect for counseling session
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Hi
Next Steps
Psychotherapy sessions
relaxation techniques for stress
CBT
Health Tips
consult
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Dr. Prem Kumar
Counselling Psychologist
6 yrs exp
Hyderabad
I understand your situation. If you are decided to be happy and really successful then let your past go as it is not working and moving forward in the direction you wanted. Let the negative feeling of dumped go, consider it was an experience, learning and an opportunity to appreciate the importance of your happiness and success. This pain will help you to go more deeper and serious about your studies.
Consider your past as just a Dream and let it go.
There are multiple methods which help you to be in this moment and focus on studies. The more you live in this moment the more it is easy for your mind to forget it. It is possible, just have the patience. Work on it.
Books to read: "The power of subconscious mind"
Take care.
Best wishes to you. You will win your life.
Next Steps
Speak to any expert/psychologist.
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Ms. Sheetal Kusumbe
Psychologist
21 yrs exp
Thane
The positive part is that you are slowly emerging out of the victim mentality and look it at a lesson to helps you to be wiser in future decisions. Also it is good that you are wanting to be happy and successful. Just shift the focus from him to yourself. Replace negative memories with positive action goals for yourself.
Next Steps
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Health Tips
Hope this helps. Connect for detailed consultation.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... It is traumatic to be used both sexually and emotionally in a relationship. But this is how some people tend to lead their lives. They tend to exploit others without considering the consequences of their actions on the other person. We can't change what has happened but we can change our mindset to recover better from this set back. Also, you need to figure out what took you into this relationship and why you stayed in it even after being used repeatedly. Sometimes we become so susceptible to pain that we unconsciously start drawing towards it. A childhood of neglect, poor parenting, lack of self-esteem, poor self-image, emotional/physical abuse in childhood/teenage by a significant other, etc. all may lead to a psycho-emotional brought-up that makes us susceptible to such an exploitative and draining relationship.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Guidance and Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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