Sucidal thoughts. Do in this postion.

Due to financial position i am getting suicidal thoughts. I am taking psychiatric medicines since 26 years. i am unable to do work. I am not having concentration at work. very slow at work. i am not getting promotion since 20 years. I am BTech in mechanical engg. I am unable to follow the words have spoken by project leader. I am taking Trazine s 3 tablets, enchorate chrono 200-1 and lorawell- 2mg. I am to develop at work. They are not increasing my salary. Due to 20years experience. i am not learned anything. I am a waste person. i am unable to identify the routes also. I have 2 children. I am unable to educate the children. recently i got heart attack. i am doing job irrespective of my study. Due to financial problem i want to die. my fear is if i resign job. I am not getting job. I am not keep this job also. i came to office sitting idle. If ilost this job i don't get any where. what i have do in this postion. No one cooperating me all are scolding me due to keep this job and work