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I am struggling to cope after a 7.5-year relationship ended suddenly. He left me without closure, saying either marry him immediately or he would marry someone else. He walked away while I was crying, ignored my messages, and told me to move on. It has been almost a year, but I still feel broken, unable to focus, and find it hard to accept anyone else. I also feel cheated because he promised to stay with me and, based on that, I got physically involved. My body and my mind are not allowing me to connect with anyone else. I feel an intense resistance and a constant urge to say
'just go away. | feel like I can't handle separation.
Answers (16)
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What you describe-intense grief, anger, feeling cheated and an inability to trust or be intimate again-fits a common reaction to sudden relationship rupture and betrayal. After a long relationship, the mind and body can respond with strong protective reactions (avoidance, numbness, rage) that feel like they won't change, but these are natural responses to loss and violation of trust.
Next Steps
It would help to work with a therapist to process the breakup, grief and betrayal; trauma-focused approaches (trauma-informed CBT, EMDR, or grief counselling) can be particularly effective. Start with short weekly counselling sessions to create safety, explore the hurt, and build gradual strategies for reconnecting when you're ready. You may consult with me for ongoing, confidential counselling to help you work through these emotions and rebuild trust in yourself and others.
Health Tips
Be gentle with yourself-don't rush acceptance. Limit contact or checking their profile (boundaries help healing). Use grounding (5-4-3-2-1), short breathing exercises, and a nightly "worry journal" where you write the worst thought and then one small fact that contradicts it. Reclaim the body with gentle movement (walks, yoga) and small social steps (one supportive friend call per week). If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of harming yourself, seek immediate help or emergency care.
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Hi
Thanks for reaching out. I understand it is difficult to cope with breakup after being in a relationship for a long time. It has been one year, and you are not able to move on and accept anyone else. It is difficult to move on after a 7.5-year relationship ends suddenly. It is alright if you are not able to move on easily because you are going to often have thoughts of the relationship and think of good times you had with your ex. It is alright if you are not able to handle separation. Give yourself time and space to heal and focus on living your life and recognizing your worth and value. Don't put pressure on yourself to move on. Take it one day at a time and focus on enjoying your life.
Consult a psychologist and talk about break-up. A psychologist will guide you on how you can feel better and live your life.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist
Health Tips
Contact me for counselling sessions. Along with counselling I can suggest natural foods to calm the mind.
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Hi
At least you do not need to see his other sides beyond 7.5yrs...ignorance could be felt after marriage
Next Steps
value clarification: what truly matters to you
overgeneralization challenge: see beyond always or never rule
Health Tips
be honest towards others, say what happened to you in an open communication ,
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Hi, Consult a psychologist
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Hi,
I'm truly sorry you're going through such a painful and overwhelming experience. Itâs completely natural to feel broken, hurt, and unable to move on after such a sudden and unresolved ending to a long-term relationship. Your feelings of betrayal, confusion, and loss are valid, and healing from this takes time. Itâs important to acknowledge your pain and give yourself permission to grieve. Consider seeking support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can help you process these emotions, rebuild your self-esteem, and find healthy ways to cope. Remember, healing is a gradual process, and with patience and support, you can work toward reconnecting with yourself and opening up to new possibilities in the future. You donât have to go through this aloneâreach out for help and take small steps towards healing.
Next Steps
Consult with a Psychologist
Health Tips
seek help
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I can sense how deeply painful this breakup has been for you, especially after investing so many years and hopes into the relationship. When closure is missing and the separation feels abrupt, it is natural to feel stuck, betrayed, and resistant to moving on. What you are experiencing is not weakness but a reflection of how much this relationship meant to you.
Right now, healing will take time and gentle effort. Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to accept someone new immediately. Instead, focus on rebuilding your self-worth, engaging in activities that bring you peace, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. Writing down your feelings or speaking with a trusted friend can slowly lighten the emotional load.
Since the pain has lasted nearly a year and is affecting your ability to cope, I would encourage you to consult a psychologist.
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Your pain is valid. You’re grieving both the loss and the betrayal. Healing will take time, but you can rebuild by grieving fully, setting boundaries with memories, reconnecting with yourself, and slowly opening space for trust again. You are not broken , you are recovering..
Next Steps
Allow grief, seek therapy support, rebuild self-worth, set small goals, and gently re-engage with life and relationships at your pace.
Health Tips
Journal your feelings, lean on trusted friends, practice self-care rituals, avoid contact with him, ground yourself with mindfulness, and celebrate small steps forward.
Don’t rush into new relationships, avoid numbing pain with unhealthy habits, and watch for signs of depression, seek help if daily life feels unmanageable.
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Hi
You’re carrying the weight of sudden loss, betrayal, and unfinished closure it’s natural to still feel broken and resistant after such a long relationship. Your mind and body are in self-protection mode, which is why connecting with anyone else feels impossible right now.
Healing starts with giving yourself permission to grieve, reminding yourself that his choice does not define your worth, and gently practicing self-trust before opening up again. Small steps like journaling unsent letters, grounding when intrusive thoughts come, and guided therapy can help you move forward with more strength.
Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Ms. Komal Singh Parihar
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hi,
I truly understand how painful it must be to cope with the sudden end of a long relationship without closure. The feelings of betrayal, emptiness, and difficulty moving on that you describe are very natural after such a deep bond. Healing from this kind of breakup takes time, and it’s okay if you are not able to connect with someone new right now — your mind and heart need space to recover first.
Next Steps
Individual therapy or counseling can really help you process your emotions, rebuild self-worth, and gradually move forward. A therapist can guide you in managing intrusive thoughts, reducing resistance, and finding healthier ways to cope with separation.
Health Tips
• Allow yourself to grieve — journaling your feelings daily can help release pain.
• Avoid constant checking of his messages/social media; it keeps wounds fresh.
• Surround yourself with supportive friends/family and keep routines steady.
• Focus on self-care: regular exercise, healthy food, and mindful practices like deep breathing or meditation.
• Start engaging in new hobbies or skill-building activities to redirect energy.
• Remind yourself that healing is not about forgetting him quickly, but about rebuilding your life step by step.
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Dr. Rakhi Anand (PhD)
Psychologist
32 yrs exp
Delhi
It need deep understanding & healing with the help of Psychologist.
Next Steps
consult Clinical Psychologist
Health Tips
Do Relaxation techniques
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Dr. Satnam Singh (PhD)
Psychologist
20 yrs exp
Gurgaon
You are going through severe break up blues. Don’t struggle on your own and ……try not to analyse and beat yourself for it. Take professional help
Next Steps
I am a relationship and marriage therapist. You can contact me for helping you deal with the situation
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Mr. Fr Dr John Zachariah
Counselling Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Ernakulam
Consult a psychologist
Next Steps
consult our psychologist in Ernakulam
Health Tips
For malayalam consultation 858985*3765
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi...It's hard to get over a broken relationship, especially when it is formed at a tender age. Young adulthood comes with it's own challenges and complexities. The relationships we form in this age not only impacts our wellbeing, but also shapes our emotional world. A partner, a relationship formed at this age makes us who we are emotionally and socially. It shapes our beliefs, values, goals, and perspectives. In a case, where such a close relationship departs that too without a proper closure, is something that can cause severe distress and it is hard to overcome. But we need to understand that in a personal relationship, no matter how close it is, we do not hold all the power/control. The other person also has a part to play and efforts to make. If they are not willing to do that or if they choose to opt out. There is nothing much we can do. We need to accept it and give us time to cope before pushing ourselves to move forward. Eventually, life and experiences do shape our mind & thoughts and we learn to leave what we can't change. Also, we learn to understand people's choices and our own vulnerabilities better. It may appear impossible for you to see yourself with someone else right now, but with time this wound will heal and you will recover back to who you are, with a better perspective of life and yourself. Do not rush for your recovery. Sometimes it's better to grieve enough and cope day-by-day.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Relationship Counselling and Personal Guidance is required.
You are going through a personal loss. Give yourself time to grieve and recover. Please seek professional help.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
It’s natural to feel broken, cheated, and unable to move on right now.
Give yourself time to grieve—healing doesn’t follow a fixed timeline.
Focus on self-care, routines, and leaning on supportive friends or family.
Therapy or journaling can also help process the betrayal and loss.
You are stronger than you feel right now, and with time, peace will return.
Next Steps
connect
Health Tips
consult
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Ms. Simran Shah
Child Behavior Therapist
6 yrs exp
Pune
Hi,
We really understand the situation taking place is quite shocking,there is a distrust and things can be traumatic. I would suggest you to take therapy sessions for sometime. Other things which you aren't able to get near to anyone can be that because the body remembers the shock and you don't want the same thing to happen to you again. It's better you consult with a psychologist for different tools and techniques which will help you to come out of your situation.
Next Steps
Connect to a psychologist
Health Tips
Do Breathing exercises which will help you to relax your muscles- JPMR relaxation technique from YouTube
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