I have a huge fear of not been able to fulfil expectations. Even for simple things. I can't even take a spoonful of rice into my plate when judging eyes are seeing. I keep thinking about how i am been perceived. If people are receptive and encouraging i go on, else i retract into a shell. I please people excessively, and when others stop mirroring this facade then i detest them in my mind while outside i don't say anything. I have carrier ambitions but this weird side of me makes me doubt myself and so i am not trying things. Where i am now, i hate my work but people are friendly and accomodative and to try anything else i am just scared how i will react the imaginary push i feel from new people. I try to "learn" from others but at some point i wonder if i keep looking for others to replicate. Where is my originality. I don't own the moment. If someone doesn't laugh on my joke i stop trying. I look for other peoples' views before making decision about how i am. seek external validation
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Somewhere your family is also a reason for your condition seeking approval from others. The Fear of Rejection and Fear of Failure is the basic cause for your current feeling.
I would suggest uou to visit a Psychologist in your city and overcome this issue forever.
hi, you maybe going through anxiety, please prepare your mind consciously and try to be yourself rather than imitating others. do what you like and don't be excessively nice to people, be normal. please visit a psychologist near your area.
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