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Psychology
My sister is not able to control her anger nad therefore she use to have a worst fight with her husband as he is also very angry man. Actually her husband smoke and chew pan mashala and she doesn't like. He doesn't care for family and he never ask her to buy or to go any where. I feel that my sister like perfection and hence she use to ask him not to do this that.. and her husband doesn't like that and after few days they start fighting badly. She has one 4 year old daughter too. She got married 6 year before.
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I believe you should discuss your concerns in detail with a mental health professional to gain an insight about nature of problem and ways to overcome it through psychotheraputic techniques
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From what you have described about your sister's husband, it seems like he doesn't care much about his wife. Tobacco/gutka is of course bad for health-perfectionist or not. But all these fights between them will have a negative impact on their child. They both may have underlying depression or adjustment ds due to their own set of problems.
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Consult a psychiatrist for de-addiction and consider starting couple's therapy. Start medicines in case any of them has depression or other psycho-somatic ds.
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early intervention will help.
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It seems that couple is going thru a difficult time. This will definitely will have adverse effect on their child. Underlying psychopathology has to b ruled out in both. Couple needs therapy
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Your Brother in law is using pan and smoking. Both are culturally acceptable. 6 years passed and your sister able to adjust with that, so definitely the issues for fight is not that alone. From one point of view you can't start treatment which usually fails in most cases. Let the couple to talk about their issues to a clinician/ good psychologist(NIMHANS). If the issues is rigidity in attitude this will go on. If ur brother is motivated to quit then it will work. What is the maintenance factor for substances use, let's clarify.
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now suggest her to stop arguing with all issues. pen down their issues of good n bad aspects of their relationship. let them talk about each other in front of a therapist.
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Definitely need a consultation if both of them feel in that way.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.