Overthinking , fear of loosing something

I had lost my father when I was 8 year old , since then life was bit hard n struggling, years passed n I did grad, pg but this fear of loosing someone never left me, I get angry easily I have anger issues n shout n try to hurt myself many times I slap myself for things or situation, m married but my husband has gotten his part of anger issues I feel like he misunderstands me which leads to fight n argument n this scenario has taken a toll on my health , I end up crying everyday even there's no as such issue , m unable to express myself because I think no one understands, last few days I keep thinking if crying is what m supposed to do then I should end everything, I have lost control over thinking, it's my baby who has kept me intact. I don't know where to get the help