I am 30. I have PCOS, n recently found that my partner has low sperm count.
I see my friends getting pregnant, and I feel sad. I get mad at myself. because i want to feel happy for them. Idon’t want to hate people. I think babies are beautiful. but i can’t help the jealousy. The envy. The resentment. It really creeps me out at times when I look at myself. What a crazy woman I have turned into. And i search for positive things. But I can't find any. Bcoz all I got till now are fake promises. I don't see any effort from him a little part of me dies. I spend all day managing it. Trying not to cry. Trying not to scream. Trying not to loose it. But I loose it n hurt the ones close to me.
I don't know what to do.
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Cry, scream, Be negative, jealous,Envious as much as you can......Dont stop yourself.
When individualization occurred in man or when the ''I'' was born, simultaneously the ''You'' was born.
And I will always be up against you. So you are bound to get jealous!
Your struggle to confirm to an ideal state of non-jealousy is the burning issue here.
Jealousy is your reality now, do not split yourself into two by pursuing a non-jealous state which is a fiction!!
Positivism is nothing but negativism suppressed.
Try practical solutions to your problems , you have other options of having a baby if you are not fixated towards one!!
Take a counseling session if you must but DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF OR FEEL GUILTY, THAT IS THE WORST YOU CAN DO
Jealousy or any negative emotion is no solution to any issues . Meet a counselor for handling your stress issues. Life is not as bad as you think . Meet your gynaecologist to check on possibilities and have faith. If nothing works adoption is also another option and a noble one. Life is about being able to find possibilities to be happy. Life's short. Dont waste it crying. Put your possibility glasses on and find the best for yourself. Will power works better than anything .
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