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Mental disturbance
Hello dr,I used to love a guy and we were in a long term relationship.I didn't know that he was only playing with my emotions for using me for his physical needs.At other side he was also in a long term relationship with a girl later whom he got married.I never had idea about it as he told me that he was in a relationship with this girl and they broke off but this was only a fabricated story.He got married without even informing me I got to know after one year of his marriage that he got married with that girl.Its been a year but still I feel shattered most of the time.I feel like someone crushed my soul.He is happily living with his wife and family and I'm still not to move on and trust anyone.I really loved him so much but still he didn't think once before doing this kind of things to me.Sometimes I still cry and feel like nothing going to be normal.Deep inside my heart I m developing feeling of taking revenge. Should I tell his wife that what kind of person he is??What should I do?
Answers (14)
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What you are experiencing is deep betrayal trauma, and it is understandable that you feel shattered, angry, and unable to trust. Your feelings of hurt and revenge are a natural reaction to the pain, but acting on them (such as telling his wife) may not give you the peace you are looking for-it may only prolong your attachment to him and worsen your distress. True healing will come from focusing on yourself, not him.
Next Steps
Start processing this pain in a safe, supportive space. Counselling with me can help you work through betrayal, grief, and anger, while also rebuilding trust and self-worth. This will give you healthier ways to release your emotions and move forward without letting his actions control your life.
Health Tips
Allow yourself to grieve, but set small boundaries to reduce overthinking about him (limit checking his life updates). Practice self-care daily-journaling, exercise, meditation, or creative outlets can help release emotions. Remind yourself that his actions reflect his character, not your worth. Over time, you will reclaim your strength and be ready for relationships built on honesty and respect.
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Consult psychotherapist
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Hi, Revenge is not a solution to get over your emotions.Now you should focus on the healing process.Consult a psychologist
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Reach out for sessions
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I'm so sorry you're going through this incredibly painful experience. It's completely understandable that you feel shattered, betrayed, and that your trust has been broken. Being used by someone you deeply loved and trusted is one of the hardest things a person can face. The feeling that someone "crushed your soul" is a valid way to describe the hurt of such a profound betrayal. Please know that your feelings—the sadness, the shock, and the difficulty trusting others—are normal reactions to a terrible situation.
Right now, your focus should be on your own healing, not on revenge. The deep desire to tell his wife comes from a place of intense pain and a need for justice, but acting on it would likely cause more chaos and distraction without bringing you the true peace you need.
Counseling can give you a safe, private space to process this pain. It can help you separate your self-worth from his actions, reminding you that his dishonesty is a reflection of his character, not yours. A counselor will help you work through the grief and betrayal, teach you techniques to manage the anger and urges for revenge, and guide you toward rebuilding your sense of self and trust so you can eventually move on with confidence and start focusing on a happier future.
Next Steps
try counseling and focusing more on yourself
Health Tips
consult
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Hi
Next Steps
focus on yourself, find peace,be humble, don't see past
Health Tips
be confident
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Hi,
I can hear how deeply hurt and betrayed you feel, and it is very natural to experience sadness, anger, and even thoughts of revenge after such a painful experience. What happened to you was unfair and emotionally damaging, and your pain is completely valid.
However, acting on revenge or confronting his wife may not bring you the peace you’re looking for and it might actually increase your pain and keep you tied to this past situation. The focus now should be on your healing, regaining trust in yourself, and slowly learning to move forward.
It may help to talk through these emotions with a psychologist, who can support you in processing the grief and rebuilding your sense of self-worth.
For now, the best step is to care for your own healing rather than seeking to punish him.
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It seems to be Post traumatic psychological changes. It can be a combination of various behavioral and emotional changes.
It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hi
I understand your pain. Being betrayed by someone you loved deeply leaves you shattered and angry. Wanting revenge or telling his wife is natural, but it will only keep you tied to him and his choices. Healing means focusing on yourself, not him.
Grieve your loss, but then slowly work on rebuilding trust and self-worth. The best way forward is choosing dignity and creating a life where his betrayal no longer controls you. Therapy can support you in this healing.
Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Mr. Fr Dr John Zachariah
Counselling Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Ernakulam
Take counselling with emotional care
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Ms. Komal Singh Parihar
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hi,
I can deeply understand how painful this experience has been for you. Feeling betrayed and heartbroken after being deceived in love can truly shake your trust and sense of self. Please know that your emotions — anger, sadness, confusion — are valid and part of the healing process.
Next Steps
It’s important to focus on your emotional recovery instead of seeking revenge, as revenge often prolongs your pain. Consider beginning therapy to help process this trauma, rebuild self-worth, and restore your sense of peace. A psychologist can help you let go of resentment and move toward emotional closure.
Health Tips
• Try journaling to express the emotions you can’t share aloud.
• Practice grounding or mindfulness when thoughts about him arise.
• Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your value.
You don’t need to face this pain alone — with the right support, healing and peace are absolutely possible.
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Ms. Pooja Gupta
Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
I'm truly sorry you're feeling this deep pain and betrayal; it's completely understandable to feel shattered after such a painful experience. Your feelings of heartbreak, anger, and betrayal are valid, and healing from this takes time. While it might be tempting to share what you know with his wife, consider whether doing so will truly help you find closure or just intensify your pain. Focusing on your own healing is the most important step nowâsurround yourself with supportive friends or family, and consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist who can help you process your emotions, rebuild your self-esteem, and regain trust in others. Remember, revenge is unlikely to bring peace and can prolong your suffering; instead, channel that energy into self-care and personal growth. Over time, with support and patience, you can heal and find happiness again, even if it doesnât seem possible right now. Your worth isn't defined by what happened, and you deserve love, respect, and trust in your future relationships.
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
seek help
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Yes, if you think hurting him back is going to bring you some relief. But let me tell you such people have no shame and their first response will be denial and character assassination. You can choose to offend him back with facts and proof, but ultimately it will result in a conflict with no end. Another way to look at this thing is from a perspective of change. Try to understand what led you to feel so deeply in love with him that you were unable to see that he was playing such a dirty game. Try to understand and change those vulnerabilities that compromised your wellbeing in order receive love. Remember, there will always be people in this world who choose to cheat and exploit others for their own secret agenda or petty desire/interest. But it is upon us to build ourselves in such a way that we can identify them and save ourselves from being their prey. This doesn't mean becoming toxic or distrustful, but it means becoming more mature, watchfull, and carefull while choosing our loved ones.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Relationship Counselling and Personal Guidance is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Instead of focusing on him, focus on yourself. Here are a few things that can help you process this and move forward.This is a heavy emotional burden to carry alone. Reach out to trusted friends or family who can listen without judgment.
Consider Professional Help: A counselor or therapist can provide a safe space and professional tools to help you process the grief, betrayal, and the struggle with trust. They can guide you in managing the anger and hurt healthily.
Next Steps
connect
Health Tips
consult
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