Is this a mental disorder? Like this.

Hi there. Been having this problem for years now. A lot of intrusive thoughts lately. When I am praying I tend to say bad and unwanted things in my thoughts and when I am with a friend or a family member, sometimes I do get thoughts about hurting them or harming them. It gets bad like terribly bad. It's worst when someone I know has passed away, and when I do a small prayer for them, then my thoughts just keep saying unwanted things which I feel a shame to even express it here, Eg, In my thoughts, when i am saying Rest In Peace to that person, sometimes my brain tends to say it to other people that are still alive and who are close to me or maybe even my own name which makes me paranoid and scared all the time. I feel guilty for having thoughts like this but I can't control my own thoughts. Is this really a mental disorder or it's just me that's doing it. This is so stressful and confusing. I just wanna know if this a mental issue or its me who's purposely thinking things like this.