I m feeling to suicide. Suffering a lot!

All the talks hurting me. I am feeling everything happened because of me, I am not confident about anything. I was very bold and confident person. But nowadays I am seeking for attention feeling Down, becoming physically & financially weaker. Not alert not understanding the discussions due to this my reputation gone down I think. When I am hurt I am unable to explain I was very good at my work and presentation now I am scared . Not understanding what happening I just want to quit but i have wife and 6yrs old kid and some loans it fear me to commit such thing If someone council me my mind works differently it will manipulate the situation and creates other scenario. Me myself is cheating me which makes me to think like quiting, I m finding myself helpless... I cannot describe the same when second time it's asked to me this us the manipulation myself is doing due to this I am unable to cure myself. And very short time I  forget the word which I wanted to tell ... I am suffering a lot