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I feel I am good for noth
I feel frustrated amd irritated all the time. I think I am going into depression. I feel to commit suicide but do not want to face the aftereffects if I fail to die. I behave immaturely. I think I have not grown up. People get troubled because of me. I went away from my friends. My parents fight with each other since i remember. Why can't i think like others. Sometimes i feel to speak but then I stop beacause they will start explaining me things and prove me wrong.
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I think a lot of labelling  has happened  in your life for many years and you started believing  those as real about you. The irritation is because you hv identified after this maturity that you are not so as told by many for many years.
Next Steps
Do consult a Psychologist / Counsellor in ur city and regrade yourself by YOU.
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You seem to have some serious personality issues that need correct understanding by you. Parental conflicts or also known as intimate partner violence is a well recognised cause for disarray in child's cognitive evaluation of the world .
Next Steps
the whole family needs help parents to learn to resolve conflicts non violently, you to correct cognitive distortions
Health Tips
visit a psychiatrist first to rule out any depressive condition then maybe a psychologist for detailed assessment and psychotherapy
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In a small query you have expressed so much about yourself & your situation. It's devastating to watch parents fight & feel rejected by friends. Everything put together is making you devalue yourself. Let's go through further into things you have mentioned . Firstly you seem to be evaluating your behaviour as immature. This evaluation might have shaped because of the way others have been treating you so far. When you carry this sort of evaluation, it gets expressed in the way you say what you say. Your body language including gestures, postures, tone, tempo, confidence level etc. convey to others that you are not to be taken seriously. This is the prime reason behind others correcting you when you express your opinions. This is a negative loop you need to break. Whenever you want to break a loop, you are to observe the way loop currently is(observe the conversations you are involved with keenly & check your as well as other people's body language) to get an understanding & step out of the loop (stop giving your opinions till you feel adequately accepted). Others respect your opinions, only when you respect your opinions & are sure about them. Others accept you, only when you accept the way you are. Coming to your inner state. It's natural to be frustrated & irritated when you are raised by parents who do not respect each others opinion & fight constantly along with friends who do not respect your opinions. Amidst all this you have started to look down upon yourself. You have accumulated several fears & insecurities lowering the self-worth further. My dear, there are 2 aspects to our life. First one is the way situations treat us and second one is the way we build ourselves. I want you to take a call on which aspect you wish to enhance. I have encountered many who use the first aspect wisely to strengthen the second aspect. It's up to you what you choose. Feel free to approach a professional who is qualified & skilled to assist you in the whole process. Good Luck..!!
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.