I feel depressed. & feet involuntrily!

It's really very sad to hear about the trauma you had experienced but it takes a lot of guts to discuss about it on an open platform like this.. so first of all I admire the courage in you about discussing about it.. Having said that.. the past traumatic experiences really haunts you even if you have moved on.. it's a very harsh reality that many of the females r going through this trauma.. but sadly you can't do much about it in terms of avoiding them or running from them as it will only make you become more insecure, anxious and feel victimized all the time.. the same might affect your relationship with other people in future.. but you can really get over it with the help of a good counselor or therapist.. if required take medications also..

consult a psychiatrist or therapist

all d best !! & be strong !!