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Frustration
I have been in a serious relationship with a girl who is 19 years old,we have been together since last 1year.We are very close to each other.We have a super bonding...deep attachment..we can't live without each other..But whenever I ask her for nudes she doesn't send me...and she doesn't agree to go to Oyo or any place to have sex with me..she says that it will happen by moment..If any situation creates in future then it will happen otherwise no..I don't get her word..When I say her these she says that Sex is not the only thing in love..I get that but I am super frustrated...I can't live without her and I also can't stay with her in this sex less..nude less relationship where only I love you..I miss you kind of chats and talks exists..I am fully confused what should I do about this?Please help me out from this
Answers (22)
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Kindly connect with sexologist and psychologist for better advice.since sex is not only the one thing in love .you cannot force her if she is reluctant to it.she is old fashioned and want to play safe.if you are desperate try talking to her openly without forcing her.
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It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and frustrations, but also to respect her boundaries. Seek to understand each other's perspectives on intimacy and consider finding compromises that work for both. If challenges persist, couples counseling can provide a supportive environment to navigate these discussions and strengthen your relationship. Remember, a healthy connection involves emotional understanding and communication beyond physical aspects.
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seek professional help.
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Contact us.
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Quite a dilemma! Obviously the girl isn’t ready for sex and obviously u cannot force her into it. She’s playing safe and doesn’t want to share her nude pics so that there is no chance of them getting exposed. Fair enough. Don’t ask them.
In the golden olden times this is how love used to be. Sexless! So if she is waiting for the right time and if u really love her then u should be able to wait it out. She sure is taking her time.
But If u can’t wait then move on. And if ur really so desperate for sex then tell her u will do it with someone else since she’s unable to do it. Lots of choices! To tell u the truth real love doesn’t depend on sex n can continue without the sex - try it!
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Hi friend , passion & reality are two ways of life . Your understanding about fulfilling your wishes is probably always the priority .
Kindly consult a senior Psychologist to bring in clarity of certain real life bonds .
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Attend a few Psychotherapy sessions either in clinic or through Tele consult , you should get your queries resolved.
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Prioritise your life systematically . Haste makes waste !
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Hi
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marriage
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hi
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Everyone's understanding about love /relationship might be different. One might feel right about some matter and others might not, it doesn't mean one is right and the other is wrong. From your point of view it might be the way of expressing love, it need not be the same for the other individual.
Relationship is all about understanding what works for both of you. Understanding each other Empathetically. It is a genius feeling for any girl in a relationship at a very young age to process certain things. Acceptance is the key for any relationship
If you feel some transparency is missing and you couldn't work on by yourself, you can always get help from the professional
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Get help from Relationship counsellor
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Hi,
Your frustration is valid. at the same time what others things contributed to it, & why she is not cooperative being in serious relationship, these things needs to be understood in depth. as physical attraction comes naturally after a point in relationship. Consult
Take care
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visit for more details: https://manpravah.com/
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This is completely understandable and do not worry, confusion at this stage is normal which can be resolved with proper guided understanding of your relationship via counselling, so that exact level of intricacies can be understood and dealt with in a proper manner.
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I would suggest having some counseling sessions to get an understanding of the relationship and the level of compatibility among both the partners.
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Your frustration is genuine as you desire the normal needs from your relationship but although your love and passion for your partner so need to support her and respect her boundaries it happens when she feels safe and confident about it
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All that you've expressed reflects your genuine needs and desires. Your frustrations stem from past unhappy events, which are influencing your current situation. Negative emotions often originate from past experiences, impacting our present. Redirecting your energies positively can help your thoughts become clearer, facilitating understanding with your girlfriend or others. It's important to recognize that your girlfriend may not be ready for sexual activity, and seeking help to address your concerns is crucial before approaching her. Remember, mutual consent and respect for her decisions are paramount when it comes to sexual matters.
Next Steps
i recommend seeking help for a better perspective on life are strongly advised , you can reach out to any therapist ASAP.
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I recommend starting deep breathing exercises will help, stay more active in life (running, walk, exercise, yoga) will help. Doing some brain Gym exercises will surely help you a lot.
for any further information you can reach out. wishing you all the very best in life 🙏
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I want to start by validating that sexual needs are basic to every human being, whether in a relationship or otherwise. Although your need for sex in a relationship is not wrong, it is important to acknowledge that your partner may not have the same views or comfort level. Each person may also have a different sex drive, which means she may not feel the intensity of this need as strongly as you. Irrespective of these factors, it's important that you respect her boundary. I understand that your care and affection for her is deep, and with respect to that I'd encourage you to imagine a scenario wherein your partner is insisting on you doing something for her which is out of your comfort zone, but you comply out of love, guilt, fear of losing her or any such reasons. How would it make you feel? While you ponder on this question, I would encourage you to find means to self-pleasure to take care of your needs, and be open about this with your partner. It can be helpful to take support of a mental health professional to further assist you in navigating through this situation. I hope this helps.
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Connect for Counseling
Message on Eight Eight Three Zero Three Two Four Two Seven One
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Hi,
I understand It can be difficult when you are in a relationship and have different needs.
Each one is different, and you just need to find a way to make it work for both of you. it does not necessarily mean there is something wrong with your relationship or with you or your partner.
The best thing you can do is talk about it. It may seem difficult to have this conversation, but talking it out is the only way to find a way forward.
Choose a time when both of you are free not distracted. Choose somewhere that is likely to have no interruptions – going for a walk somewhere quiet for example .
Talk to her about what she is comfortable with and what boundaries should be there, so that you both understand what you like and what you don’t like. Mutual consent is most important. Listen and Understand both of your feelings to take it positively forward resolving in a mutual manner wherein both of you are happy .
If you feel you need extra help or support, consider consulting a counsellor. A relationships counsellor or a therapist will be able to work through these issues with both of you so that you can come to a solution together and find something that works for both of you.
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Consult.
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Hi,May be she is not comfortable with your demands.Try to give respect to her views.For a good relationship, mutual understanding is important.You can talk to her about it.Consult a psychologist for professional help
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It sounds like you're facing a difficult situation. It's important to remember that every relationship is unique, and communication is key. Before making any decisions, it might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. It's also crucial to respect your partner's boundaries and desires.
Seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor could provide valuable support and insight as you navigate this issue together.
Would you like assistance in finding a therapist or counselor in your area?
Next Steps
Consult a therapist.
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You may visit the following website for tele-consultation.
https://www.practo.com/aurangabad-bh/clinic/psymaitin-jamhor
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Dear
You have serious issue, one side u said u love and 2nd side u have all your sexual desire demands which contradict to indian culture as well. If u really love her go for wedlock. The signal of your words seems u have addiction of Pron and that's makes demand / desire strong.
So it's young age sexual desire and no deep love. Your kind of personality will soon get fedup once u have seen and met all your requirements. Better focus on your career, settle in life and then look for same girl / other girl as life partner IF U REALLY LOVE!!!! Since many information missing, detailed analysis is not feasible.
DR. DHARMENERA SOLANKI
Next Steps
Avoid deep thoughts. appears that you have sense of possessiveness which may lead to negatives if u stick to your such aim.
Health Tips
Be polite and kind and proceed in serious relationship instead of just demanding nudes and oyo.
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Ms. Simran Dugar
Counselling Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Kolkata
It's apparent that you're feeling a bit confused and frustrated in your relationship, and it's completely normal to have these emotions. Relationships involve different desires and comfort levels, and it's important to have these uncomfortable discussions with sensitivity.
Your girlfriend, being 19, may not feel entirely comfortable with certain aspects of intimacy, and that's okay. It's crucial to respect her boundaries and communicate openly about your feelings. Instead of focusing solely on the frustration, try having a compassionate conversation with her, understanding her perspective, and finding ways to make the discussion more comfortable for both of you. Dealing with such situations empathetically will help both of create a healthy relationship which allows for different view points to exist with respect.
If you find it challenging to navigate these conversations, seeking guidance through couples' therapy or relationship counseling might offer a supportive environment to express your needs and enhance your understanding of each other.
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Dr. Pooja Sharma (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
24 yrs exp
Ahmedabad
Hi, your desperation for sex and to see her nude pics and frustration for not getting the same leading to think this as basis for weakening the relationship is just an irrational, illogical, idiosyncratic thoughts and belief.
This is lust and not love, you need help as you would have difficulty in sustaining any relationship.
Next Steps
please consult a professional clinical psychologist.
Health Tips
Please don't force yourself to her otherwise this may lead to legal problems for you
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Dr. George Palackal (PhD)
Counselling Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Chennai
Hi, you are 24 and she is 19 years old. You are saying that both of you have super bonding. You are also saying that both of you cannot live without each other. And you want her nude pictures and have sex with her but she is not obliging and she says sex is NOT the only thing in love. So you are getting frustrated because for you, sex is THE only thing in love, because you said, "I can't stay in this sex-less nude-less relationship!" So I fully understand your frustration. No relationship can grow without mutual respect. You are not willing to respect her boundaries. So this relationship is already cracking at its very foundation and therefore cannot last for a lifetime unless and until you learn to treat her with respect. She is not an object ever ready only to satisfy your sexual desires. Though she is only 19, she has shown great maturity with moral values and she seems to know what true love is. Please try to learn from her what true love is! If you are not prepared, then it is best to leave her alone!
By the way, please don't waste your time and money going to a counsellor with this issue!
Next Steps
Introspection.
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Introspection.
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Ms. Bhavani Kaushal
Clinical Psychologist
5 yrs exp
Delhi
Take psychotherapy sessions with a Clinical psychologist. You can start ur treatment under me also
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Book an appointment now
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Mr. Vijay Kumar
Counselling Psychologist
30 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Sex, in any close relationship, has to be mutual. Going by the Indian morals, sex before marriage is considered to be a taboo. On private nudity between both of you, I would say that it has adequate risks for her, especially in the modern times which is too advanced in technology. From what you have explained, it can be concluded that she is trying to keep higher moral values even between both of you. Forcing her into premarital sex and to strip before you, it may, if not right now, but anytime later, lead your relationship into trouble. It will be worthwhile for you to understand that different people have different value systems and morality. In your situation, I think you need to make adjustments rather than her.
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Dr. Priyanka (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Delhi
First of all good morning,
Relations are between two individuals and as psychological perspective every one is different with different personality traits, different views and opinion and also have different kind of urges as well.
So in this relationship expectations are not matching and this is creating a chaos…You need to understand her needs and drive too along with yours and it gives you a better understanding of emotions and also help you to control your own emotions also…
You need to indulge in to sexual relationship but she wants to enjoy each every moment of this relationship and may be she is not comfortable enough to indulge in to sexual relationship at this point..
Health Tips
You can start mindfulness technique to regulate your emotions if not then you can consult to a mental health professional…
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
19 yrs exp
Bangalore
This is your side of story...need to know both the sides.connect for couple counseling
Next Steps
connect
Health Tips
consult
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