Extreme sadness, demotivation. Help.

I have been feeling down from almost 2 years now. In the past 1 year till now i've had many breakdowns and panic attacks along with bad anxiety. Recently, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been low - not eating/skipping meals, sleeping alot or not sleeping for days, panic attacks, extreme anxiety, sleep paralysis, breakdowns, staying alone, avoiding people, demotivated, feeling dreadful and just a very sad inside. I took few counselling sessions and i felt better after that but I find myself spiralling down this again and again, either once or twice a month. I end up feeling guilty for feeling this way but I don't know what to do. I've been trying to gain weight as well but have been failing at that too because I'm not eating and i tend to skip meals. I'm not sure if its just a phase considering its been almost 2 years or if its depression, please help.