Depression negative thinking. Repeated!

Hie... I will suggest you to took some natural steps for this and if it didn't worked then you can consult any Psychologist for this again............. I have always wondered about this question: What is it that makes me happy? Is it good times spent with friends? Is it performance at work? Is it self awareness? What is it? I created a simple mind map, and started splitting a few things randomly, then I structured them a little, and created a framework. Belief, performance, measurement, results, anticipation, anxiety, happiness. Here is how things happen: You always have a rough belief system in your mind. Your beliefs can be weak, or strong. Sometimes very strong. You might believe in yourself, or in things told by others, or you might believe in someone else. Same way, you can have acquired skills, and you can split your skills as ~ what you can do, vs what you are expected to do. I am only giving you a framework. You can always choose to write down whatever you like on a paper just like this. The framework is, that everything in our lives can be split into three ways: What you think, believe, have, can get, etc. What others think, believe, have, can get about you or themselves. What the reality is or where it can go in time if efforts are put towards improvements. Also note, that everything affects everything else. For example, the more skills you have, the stronger your beliefs in something can be. The stronger your beliefs are, the more others might believe in you. The more others believe in you, the more they can help you out. The more they help you, the better your results can look and so on. Each and everything that affects one another can take a positive or a negative trend over time. When we put efforts onto something, you get some results. Again, everything is affected: [Beliefs, attitudes, results, skills, results…] everything! Here is what happiness is: Happiness is simply an inverse of a summation of all the deltas you can put together. Lets think about it with a few examples (they are made up, but I have felt and experienced them): When I did something great, I wasn’t expecting a prize, but my boss gave me one: I got happy! When I did something great, but no one thanked me. I felt tiredness and depression. When I believed in something that was true, but others didn’t it made me anxious. Then I put more efforts to show others what I believed in and why. They saw a clearer picture and got convinced - I got happy. When my boss asked me to do a task, and I could not do it the way he expected - he got angry, and I got depressed. When my boss asked me to train someone. I trained them exceeding expectations - they got happy, my boss got happy, so I got happy! This extends to personal life, not just professional life: I made a sandwich for my friend. He was not even expecting one. He got happy, so I got happy. My friend invited me to his party, but I got late. He got anxious, so I got anxious. I wasn’t anticipating my friends to visit, but they visited me during vacations - they got happy, I got happy. Now! What must you do? Put well defined efforts that reduce some delta somewhere: Usually the efforts would have to change something. The change could very well be within you. In fact, if you think deeply, the change is within you. It is in your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, actions. Examples: Increase your skills so that you can achieve what you believe in and what others believe in. Put efforts towards extending gestures that others expect out of you. Make them feel good. Make them believe in you. Make a reality check constantly to figure out where you stand vs where others think you stand. Learn how to convince others so that they believe in you. Learn to lead others to a common cause. Help others reduce their deltas. They are happier - you are happier. Hope the best from others, but don’t make expectations. Give your best to others, and constantly try to exceed expectations. When you repeat such experiences too many times, you might know what you have to never be anxious, never stressed out, and always be happy. I'm going to give you some tough loving. I'm not going to tell you to watch all that inspirational crap. It didn't help me until I was totally out of my depression. You need to suck it up. The more you sulk that you've lost your legs, the more you're going to hate yourself and question your life. You lost your legs, not a big deal. Seriously, not a big deal. It's not the end of the world. It may be in your community, but you're making it a bigger issue than it really is. I know you think you've lost your mobility, independency, and freedom. You haven't. It's going to be hard and difficult, but don't make it. You have a job, you have family and friends (I'm assuming), and you have your life. If you stay bitter around your friends and family, you'll lose them and they'll start feeling sorry for you. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. That's the first thing. You're not some poor person who is dependent. No! You're not. You have a job and you use your wheelchair for mobility. Sure, you can't use the stairs, use a ramp! Ramps are fun! Seriously! Have you ever tried wheeling down one that's not so steep? It's like a slide! It's fun! Try it sometime. The other thing is that you need to understand your situation and learn to live with it. By being depressed, it's not going to make things better. If that was the case, I'd be fucking walking by now. You need to cleanse yourself of all these feelings. Don't tell me it's hard, it's not when you really, really want something. Stay positive, I don't know if you don't have legs, or if you don't have use of them. If I were you, I'd look into prosthetics and give them a go. There are so many people in the world who use prosthetic legs and are living normal lives, as are you! If you don't have the use of your legs, I'd start doing therapy. Get up and start working out. The extra strength in your upper body will help you do things you didn't even know you were capable of. Get some calipers or splints made and start walking in those. Listen, no one said that living life in a wheelchair is going to be easy, it's really challenging. I want you to know that for your benefit, you need to cleanse yourself of all these negative emotions. They will not help you a single bit. I don't care if people are baby-ing you, stop it. Do things as you used to. Be totally dependent on yourself. There are people out there in far worse conditions than you and are still happy. I was paralyzed from the chest down and I lost all of my friends because I was bitter. I didn't want to go out because I hated myself. You don't have to do that. I learned the hard way to understand that I'm still the same person, I just can't walk. That doesn't mean that I've lost hope that I'll walk. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Rid yourself of all negative emotions. Start looking into prosthetics or splints and walkers. Be independent as you were before. Understand that the wheelchair does not define you as a person. Don't change yourself because you're wheelchair bound. You really need to be positive and enjoy life. Don't say that you can't do certain things. You can. You can dance, you can go sledding, you can go to the beach, you can play sports, you can have fun. Being wheelchair bound does not limit your ability, it just tests your ability. Don't let the wheelchair win. Wheelchair - 1 You - 0 Don't let that happen. You need to snap out of it and go out with your friends and have a good time. Thank You All The Best